


The Legend of Blu

by Winterstar



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Animal Abuse, Animal Transformation, Captain America/Iron Man Reverse Big Bang 2020, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fairy Tale Elements, Howard Stark's Bad Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Magic, Terrorism, The Tesseract (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:02:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24421738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterstar/pseuds/Winterstar
Summary: Legend told of a lion with blue eyes that appeared near the end of World War II. Alone it walked the Earth, looking for home but never finding it. As a boy, Tony read the stories and held his little toy lion close. It protected him through all his troubles. As a man, Tony must confront the fairy tale come true and summons the courage to bring a lion home.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 82
Kudos: 245
Collections: Captain America/Iron Man Reverse Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fluffypanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Lionhearted [ART]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419581) by [Fluffypanda](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda). 



> This takes place before Iron Man 1, during Iron Man 1 and then after Iron Man 1, it diverges from canon. 
> 
> Warning – there’s a small reference to a dog Tony used to have as a child. You never find out what happened to the dog, but Tony doesn’t like to ‘think about it’. There are also mentions of spousal and child abuse by Howard. It is mentioned and not detailed. Because of the nature of this story there are themes of lion abuse. Everything turns out fine and there is a happily ever after!
> 
> I want to thank fluffypanda for an inspirational and truly beautiful work! Thank you so much for sharing these pieces. Please check out her wonder art [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24419581)
> 
> I also want to thank the mods for their hard work on this event. It's always fun and I always say I'm not doing it, but I always end up doing! :)
> 
> Also a warning - the author (that's me) changes tense from past to present - this is done on purpose and does not mean the author is goofy, that's for another reason entirely! Enjoy!

As a boy, Tony owned a small stuffed lion. He received it for his fifth birthday – a gift from his mother. His father only scoffed at the toy and instead offered him an erector set. He loved them all the same, though he always hid the stuff toy from his father’s sight. Sometimes, late at night when Tony couldn’t sleep, he snuggled down under the covers and Blu (that was the lion’s name) would take him on adventures. 

Besides, everyone knew of the adventures of the legendary blue-eyed lion. His mother told him the story when he opened the beautifully wrapped gift with it’s red and blue ribbons and white bow. She’d heard the story as a little girl and so told Tony about the real-life lion that appeared one cold April day in Norway. Its mane sodden with sea water, the male lion dragged it cold and tired body from the Arctic waters. The people of the small fishing village stared at the lion with trepidation, but it never attacked them. In fact, some people said it tried to come to them, tried to open doors and seek help. The fishermen drove it away, frightened it would attack the children of the town. 

“It all happened during the war, Tony, during World War II. So long ago,” his mother said as she snuggled close to him as she put him to bed on his birthday. 

“What happened to the lion then?”

“Oh Blu? That’s what they called him. He was seen all over Europe for so many years.” She tucked the blankets around him. It was a chilly May day. “Many people said he had an intelligence in his eyes. That he would try his best to interact with people, but it never worked. People always saw him as the beast he was. So, he disappeared into the forests. When he was seen again, Blu acted more and more like an animal. He scared people away from him. Some said he even attacked people, but no one had any evidence. They only knew the stories of him helping people.”

“Helping people?”

Maria smiled down at him as she stroked his hair away from his face. “Yes. There’s a famous case where a child went missing in Italy, close to my mother’s village. People looked all over for the child and no one could find the boy. Then one moonless night they heard a strange moaning, but not really a moan. More like a low purr. The villagers followed the sound and found the child cuddled up against old Blu.”

“They liked him then! Right?” Tony said with bated excitement. Surely the people would know what a hero dear old Blu the lion was then. 

“No.” Maria bowed her head. “Many times, people don’t see beyond the veneer. Do you know what that means, my baby?” She touches his cheek with a tender hand.

“No, Momma.”

“It means what’s on the outside. People don’t see beyond the outside. Many people judge books by their covers but that doesn’t mean what’s on the outside tells you what’s on the inside. Does?” Maria asked.

“No.” Tony had a book about a dog named Stanley who threw parties for all the dogs in the neighborhood, but the cover never told why. It was because his owners neglected him. Tony hated that book. “So, people judged Blu because he was a lion, and no one trusted him.”

“It’s hard to see beyond the beast.” Her gaze looked far away as she said it. Coming back to herself, his mother patted him on the shoulder, kissed his cheek, and told him Happy Birthday one more time before leaving him in the dark with only a tiny nightlight that projected the universe on his ceiling. It was the only one his father approved – _if the boy needs a nightlight like some dimwitted child who believes in monsters under his bed, then at least give him something educational, Maria._

He scrambled under the bed linens with his tiny flashlight that Jarvis had given him. With a flick of the switch Tony illuminated the small stuffed animal. It had a beautiful mane just the color of a golden sun and a long tail that had a puff of blonde and dark strands on it, but most of all it had the bluest eyes Tony had ever seen. He wanted to know everything about the lion that appeared on the coast of frozen Norway. Tomorrow he would search for books at the library – but he would have to beg Jarvis to take him. It wasn’t library day. It was museum day and Tony didn’t want any of that. Sure staring at paintings might be interesting for old people but he hated to just sit there and not touch them.

Once they’d gone to the museum and Tony reached out to touch a painting and the big guard lumbered to his side and with a booming voice scolded him. Jarvis repeatedly apologized. It wasn’t that Tony hated the museum; he hated the thought of getting Jarvis in trouble. What if Daddy found out? What would Daddy do to Jarvis if he knew of Tony’s transgression?

It turned out that Tony had to wait a whole two weeks before Jarvis carted him to the local library. He had his little paper card clenched in his fist. Most children weren’t allowed library cards until they would much older, but his mother convinced the librarian. Tony overheard her promise an endowment and then the librarian relented. With his card, he’d read books and learned what an endowment meant. His mother bought his way into the library and all the books. 

There were books at home. So many books, but his father forbade him from going into the mansion’s library. The library was for grown men, not Tony. Tony needed to stay clear of it. The public library became Tony’s haven. With his card and his little stuffed lion, Tony trotted next to Jarvis and Ana as they walked to the library. He would find out everything he wanted to know about Blu the Lion. 

Of course, when they asked the librarian with her large glasses and her – what Jarvis called – hippie hair, she brought them over to the little kid’s section. Tony screwed up his face at the sight of the picture books and tugged on Jarvis’ jacket.

“I’m afraid this won’t do, Miss Melanie. Anthony, you see, is above average. Far above average. He reads on a high school level.”

Melanie wasn’t the main librarian who already knew about Tony’s protégé status. Melanie was new, just out of college and still one of the few who talked about free love instead of God being dead. Melanie nodded her head.

“Yeah, I see you little man. That’s cool.” She led them to another section in the library, her shell beaded necklace clattering as she walked. She pointed out several selections, but one was an overlarge book about that last days of World War II. “If I recall, the lion appeared at the very end around 1945.” She handed Jarvis the heavy book that looked like what his mother called a _coffee table book_. “Maybe start with this one.”

Jarvis smiled and thanked her. Tony grabbed the book and nearly toppled over from its weight. Its size ungainly, Tony managed with Ana’s help to place it on a table and crawl into the chair to open it. The book smelled old and used and he loved it instantly. He flipped through the pages to the table of contents and saw that most of the book concentrated on the last days in Europe and the last days in the Pacific theater as they called it. There was an entire chapter on the atomic bomb. 

He shivered. He knew from listening at the library door when his father and Obie spoke that his father had something to do with that – and that it haunted him. ‘Caused him to drink. Once he heard his father say something very curious.

_Steve would never have agreed to do it. Never. He died to stop Hydra bombs_

_Captain America couldn’t stop the Japs. No one could. You know that, Howard._

_They were already decimated. Their troops were starving. We did it to show our power. You know it, Obie. You saw the files._

His father had been terribly drunk, slurring his words. Yet, Tony understood them, knew that Howard regretted being a part of the atomic bomb project that everyone called, the Manhattan Project. Tony also knew that this Steve person caused his father to question what it meant to be good, and maybe that was a good thing. He needed to find out who this Steve person was, but right now he focused on Blu and the oversized book.

Tony placed his stuffed animal to the side and scanned the table of contents. A section of the book covered localities and folk stories that originated during the war. He flipped through the book as Jarvis and Ana settled down next to him, peering over his shoulder. It took a while to find anything about Blu. But he finally did. It was only a quarter of a page including a grainy photo. Due to the quality of the black and white photograph Tony barely made out the image of a full grown African male lion standing in a small fishing village surrounded by snow. Behind the lion, the icy waters of Norwegian Sea. A man named Johan Pedersen had been interviewed by the book’s authors:

_In late April of 1945, Johan Pedersen and several of the Askvoll reported a full-grown male lion climb out of the icy waters of the Norwegian Sea. The lion seemed unbothered by humans and, strangely, did not attack. When interviewed for this book, Mister Pedersen said (translated from the original Norwegian), “Many wanted to shoot it. But it had the oddest blue eyes. I’d never seen a lion in real life before, you see. The blue eyes – the intelligence – it was there. Some tried to feed it. It looked skinny, hungry. But then it ran at some villagers and that just ended any truce we had with it. It was run off shortly thereafter._ ”

Well, that didn’t tell Tony anything new, except his mother had the wrong Sea and he had a picture. Proof of a lion in Norway. Maybe it fell off a cargo ship bound for America? Zoos routinely captured wild lions and brought them to the Western hemisphere, but it was far off track if that were the case. Maybe the ship headed toward Norway and it just wasn’t off track at all. Tony had a lot of researching to do. He spent the better part of the day rummaging through the card catalogue, picking out books, looking through old microfiche to locate any references to the blue-eyed lion. He found a dozen. He checked out what he could and asked the librarian to send to another library to get the article. By the time the afternoon burned away, Tony sat at home with a glass of milk and some cookies, along with his lion and a stack of books.

As he studied the books, Tony realized he needed a map. He asked Jarvis who was able to bring him a National Geographic map of Europe, another of the Middle East, and one of Africa. Ana also placed a leather-bound notebook next to Tony’s elbow.

“For your notes. Any good scientist writes down all of his observations.” She tapped the book and smiled. Tony beamed at her. 

He grabbed the notebook and started to write furiously about all the things he learned. He used his pencil to make Xs on the map on all the sightings he’d read about Blu the Lion. Maybe the lion was just trying to get home. Back to Africa. What little Tony knew by the end of the afternoon amounted to a circuitous route through Europe. Tony looked at his stuffed toy.

“What do you say, Blu? What were you doing? Who were you looking for?” Tony whispered to the little toy. Maybe the lion wanted someone to help him. Maybe Tony could be that person. Maybe he could be someone’s hero.

Maybe…

The kitchen in the mansion on 5th Avenue fades away – a past he can no longer cling to for solace. He swallows down the bile in his throat. That innocent little boy disappears with the years and leaves only a dry ash of death in his mouth. All the years in between the naïve but hopeful boy and death monger he became exploded with a deafening blast with his name plastered on the side of the bomb. The pain in his chest throbs and all Tony wants to do is roll over, but it hurts too much to move. 

There’s something worming its way up his nostril and down his throat. He tugs at it, gags. His eyes water. He chokes and bile burns again. Yanking with a fierceness he does not possess, Tony slides the tubing from his nostril and out of his throat. He gasps out a sob and there are hands on him. A voice – tilted with a slight accent – tells him to rest. He’s been injured, he needs to rest before they come. 

Tony wants to ask – who? But then he sees him. 

A lion.

It sits in the corner of the dark place – a cave his brain supplies. The male lion stares at Tony, its eyes an azure blue. Tony knows it’s only a figment of his imagination, a delusion of the fever racing through his brain and body. He wonders if the fever will scorch away all the memories of what led him to this desolate place. Part of him wants that, needs it, so that he can wash away the past and rise up like a phoenix from the flames. He would never be so lucky. 

The lion shakes his head at Tony as if it is dismissing him. There’s a rattle and Tony spots a thick chain hanging from a heavy collar around the lion’s neck. His hallucination is securely placed. Tony doesn’t have to worry about the big cat getting loose which makes him giggle all the same. It wouldn’t do for him to freak out over the phantom lion if his doctor came back. Why is his doctor in a cave? Are they hiding? Did someone attack the hospital? Why is he even here?

The explosion replays in his head and he moans out in terror and fear. The doctor person comes back and kneels next to the cot Tony lays on. His hands are gentle and light. He lifts Tony’s head up and brings a bowl up to his lips. “You must eat. You are weak. Please. Just a little broth.”

Tony sips the salty brew and coughs up more than he swallows. The doctor helps again. Tony notices his nails are grimy and stained with grease and dirt. What kind of doctor doesn’t have clean hands? He jolts away from the doctor, knocking the bowl of soup and causing it to splatter down the side of the cot onto the ground. It is a ground and not a tiled floor. He’s not delusional – he’s in cave.

Something hard presses on his chest and he heaves in a breath. A mace’s spikes stab him, and he curls over himself, touching his sternum – but he finds he doesn’t really have a sternum anymore. He whines as he opens up his ragged shirt to find a device embedded there, his bones carved out. He’s becomes something less than human. 

“It’s to keep the shrapnel from your heart,” the doctor says. He pats on battery sitting on the table next to the cot. “It’s a car battery. An electromagnetic charge is keeping the shrapnel from the bomb from traveling to your heart and killing you.”

None of it makes any sense. A jumble of words – of letters mixed together in a soup and red with blood. He blinks and knows he faded out because the pretend doctor is no longer there. Only the lion.

The lion licks his lips and yawns – bored looking at Tony. The blue eyes strike Tony. He recalls the nights cuddling Blu next to his chest and gazing down at the little stuffed animal, its blue eyes shining in the dark. In some ways he misses that blue light. His mind manifested his toy into a terrifyingly realistic illusion. The lion yawns again and then slowly settles down onto the cool stone floor of the cave. It looks at him and reminds Tony of the Golden Retriever dog that his father let him have for a very short period of time when he was a pre-teen. Howard said that every boy needs a dog, teaches him how to be a man. 

The dog failed at that, and Tony doesn’t like to think about what happened to old Rusty. Now, as he stares at the ghost lion, he thinks of Rusty. How he would lie with his head between his paws and stare up at Tony with this mournful look in his eyes. There had been a silent conversation between the two of them. Both of them knew their bonding would never last, but both of them hoped they would be able to fight the forces that would tear them apart. Tony wasn’t strong enough then. 

“Blu?” Tony says and his voice scrapes the air.

The lion flicks his gaze to Tony.

“I had a stuffed toy lion with blue eyes, just like yours.” Tony waves his hand in the air as if he’s orchestrating a play of his past. “I carried that thing around everywhere. Drove dear ol’ Howard mad. Thought I was a sissy boy.” He chuckles and it hurts like there’s a gaping hole to hell in his chest. “Little did he know.” Tears come to his eyes again. He doesn’t fight them. “Guess it doesn’t matter now. Just you, me, and the witch doctor.”

“I am not a witch doctor.” The doctor steps into Tony’s line of vision.

“Listening to a madman and not announcing yourself is the height of rudeness.” Tony swings his arm around as if to push the shade of his hallucinations away. Maybe he’s still on the side of the road and he’s conjured the lion and this misfit of a man to comfort him. Still why this guy? Why not one of his teenage crushes like Captain America.

The phantom doctor’s gentle eyes soften even more. “Mister Stark, you are not mad, but you may wish to be.”

Tony grins and it hurts because everything hurts. The insidious beast implanted in his breast eats him from the inside out. “Whatever you say, Ghost-doctor.”

“You know I met you,” the thin rail of a man says. “Once. At a conference. You didn’t really listen to me.”

“Don’t be offended, I rarely listen to anyone.”

“Don’t worry. I am not so tender of the heart to be offended by arrogance.” He smiles but his eyes never catch the emotion. The smile masks his worry, his concern for Tony. 

“It’s nice that my hallucination is worried about me. At the same time, it’s not so nice that my hallucination thinks I’m arrogant,” Tony says and drops his arm over his eyes. His chest protests the movement. He doesn’t care.

“Tell me you don’t know you are arrogant, Mister Stark?”

“It’s Tony, Ghost-Doctor,” Tony whispers.

“And I am Yinsen Ho, you may call me Yinsen.” The doctor sits on the edge of the bed. “I did what I could to save you, but now you must save yourself.”

“From what? My hallucinations? From you? From the lion in the corner.” He laughs again and it spears every hope into shreds.

Yinsen looks directly at the lion. “Yes. You must save yourself from them and the lion.”

Tony cringes and lifts his head up with a glance to the lion. “You’re speaking metaphorically, right?”

“No. I am not.” Yinsen stands up and goes over to a little table that has a single burner hot plate. “Now, can we try the soup again.”

Tony eases up on his elbows. “You’re fucking kidding me. You’re telling me this hole in the center of the Earth is real. You’re real. And that fucking lion is real.”

Yinsen glances at the lion. “Yes.” He ladles soup into the bowl again. “Now, you must eat. When they come back, and they will, you need your strength. They recovered you for a reason, I am afraid Mister Stark. I could not do what they asked, perhaps you can.”

He reaches out a shaking hand as Yinsen offers him the dented bowl. “Or what? They’ll feed me to the lion?” Though Yinsen hasn’t told him who it is that is holding him, Tony pretty much knows. It’s not rocket science (and for god’s sakes, propulsion is not that hard to figure out). 

“Maybe,” Yinsen says in a matter-of-fact tone. He lifts his own bowl to the lion. “Today we have a truce. Tomorrow, who knows.”

The lion watches them with quiet hungry eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Tony skipped over most of middle school, hopping right into high school at the tender age of eight. Most of the teachers knew he wouldn’t spend a lot of time with them, he was there just to bide his time until he moved onto MIT. His mother apparently didn’t want him to go to university until he was at least ten years old. The bickering between his parents never fazed Tony. He held Blu close and listened but ignored it. 

His parents fought a lot. Most of the time it had to do with Howard’s trips or what Tony’s mom called Howard’s obsession.

“Can’t you please listen to Peggy? She’s moved on without him. Why can’t you?” Maria asked one night in the middle of dinner. Howard had just announced he would be taking an expedition to the Arctic Ocean again.

“It’s not about him. It’s not about the most moral man I’ve ever known. The best man. No, it’s about his last gift to us,” Howard said, his expression troubled, tormented. Tony had read enough books from the Lord of the Rings books to the Lord of the Flies to understand a haunted man. 

“What could you possibly mean by that? He’s dead. At the bottom of the Arctic Ocean. There’s no reason to keep hunting for him. You already found the stupid magic cube,” Maria hissed. Tony rarely saw or heard his mother being cruel. Part of him shivered in her wake. 

Waiting to defuse the situation, Tony perked up and asked, “What magic cube?”

Howard growled at Maria. “Look, now you have him acting as idiotic as you.” His father turned toward Tony across the long distance of the formal dining table. “It’s not a magic cube. There’s no such thing as magic. Magic is just science we haven’t figured out yet.”

“So, there’s a magic- a science cube you found but haven’t figured out yet?” Tony squeezed his little stuffed toy under the table. He kept it on his lap because his father detested the lion. He swung his legs, happily. He’d distracted them from their fight. The warmth of success suffused him, and he smiled.

“Something like that, son.” Howard stabbed his filet. “I don’t expect your mother to understand. What, Maria, didn’t you just go to finishing school?” The barb struck home, and Tony watched as his mother wilted.

She moved her food around in her plate for a few minutes in the silence of the dining room. Picking up her wine glass, she drank it down and then stood up. “Go and search for your boyfriend, Howard, but if you do you’re not to come to my bed again.” She threw her cloth napkin down onto the plate and stormed out.

Tony’s eyes widened as he looked at his father. 

Howard exhaled and sliced his meat. “Don’t listen to your mother, Tony. Your father’s no sissy boy and neither was Captain America. He was the bravest, strongest man I ever had the privilege to know.”

Tony squeezed the little lion again. “Did he fight with you in the war, Father?” He wanted to call his father, daddy, but Howard always scowled at the moniker.

“Yes. We were a team. He was the greatest soldier. I’ve been remiss, son, I haven’t told you enough about Steve Rogers. That was his name, Cap’s name. I’ll get you a book to read. You’ll like it, better than that childish lion you’re hiding in your lap.” Howard hardened his gaze. “It would do you well to learn a little about a real man.”

Right then and there, Tony decided to hate this Captain America, aka Steve Rogers. Though he tried as he might, he failed. His father came to him the next day with a stack of comic books and plopped them on Tony’s desk that already on circuit boards and soldering irons on it. Tony lifted his goggles and looked up at his father.

Howard placed a finger on the top comic book. “Read these. I’ll get you some history books so you can read about how a real man fights a war. You need to know these things, if you’re going to run Stark Industries someday.” He left Tony’s small workshop which was just a small room off his bedroom.

On the front cover of the top comic book it had a very spangled figure (in red, white, and blue) punching Hitler in the face. Tony knew enough about history to recognize Hitler. At first, he loathed to read the comic book. After all he was in high school now, only babies read comic books. Plus, he hated Captain America – especially since Howard favored him over the legend of Blu, the lion. Tony glanced over through the archway to his bedroom where Blu sat on the bed – just where Jarvis placed him every day. At least Howard hadn’t taken Blu away when he delivered the comic books.

Tony gathered up the books and trudged over to his bed with the intent of sticking them under it. He could always pull one out when Howard yelled about it. As he pushed them under one of the books slipped off and flipped open. He started to read – he couldn’t help it. 

He didn’t stop until every last one of the books were read and read again.

He loved all them. He adored Captain America. He wanted to know more, the real stories. When his father came again, weeks later (Howard had a tendency to forget that Tony existed) and delivered a book about the life of Steve Rogers, excitement shot through him and he grabbed his father around the waist and hugged. Howard peeled him off and told him not to be such a Nancy boy.

“It’s just a book. Why do you always have to ruin everything?” Howard slammed the door on the way out.

Tony almost didn’t read it, but it wasn’t Steve Rogers fault that Howard was a jerk. With Blu on his lap, Tony sat on his bed and opened the book. It was a biography of Steve Rogers starting with his birth in 1918 on the 4th of July. Tony snickered at that little fact. He looked down at Blu.

“What a silly birthday! But I suppose it would be kind of great to have fireworks on your birthday every year.” It struck Tony then. “Hey, Blu, why don’t we say your birthday is on Independence Day too?” 

Tony turned back to the book but cuddled Blu closer as he read about Steve Rogers’ early life. He never found biographies especially intriguing especially if they weren’t of people named Coulomb, Newton, or Einstein. Yet, the story of Steve Rogers captured him, pinned him down to his bed for hours at a time. Jarvis had to drag him to the dinner table and force him to hand over the thick tome when it was bedtime. Finally, after school, the next day Tony finished it.

With Steve Rogers as Captain America downing a plane into the Arctic Ocean – it chilled Tony to the very core. He placed the book on his side table and left Blu behind, because his father hated the stuffed animal. He climbed down the wide, dark wood staircase with its sweeping thick carved railing and headed toward the workshop where his father spent much of his spare time. He walked across the courtyard, the leaves of fall littering the pathway to the workshop. When Tony arrived, he nearly swung open the door without knocking, but good sense stopped him. He went to knock, but then he heard voices.

“I think she’s right, you need to stop this madness, Howard.” Tony recognized the voice as his ‘uncle’ Obie. 

His father snapped back. “Then tell them I can’t do it. I’m not Erskine. They want a formula I don’t have. Erskine’s notes are gibberish!” 

“You can’t keep going to the Arctic looking for his body. It isn’t going to happen. The company suffers every time you go. The stockholders have a right to know what the CEO is doing-.”

“I shouldn’t have gone public. That was your doing, Obie! This is my company. They can’t tell me what to do.”

Obie must have taken a moment to compose himself because the next words were measured but seeped in anger. “Your company was about to go under. You mismanage everything Howard. You drink too much; you fuck too many women. It’s time to stop this and listen. If you’re not going to listen to me at least listen to your wife.”

“Fuck you, Obie! I’ll go and search for him any time I want. Get out! Get out!” 

Tony heard a scruff of a chair against the tiled floor and then the heavy footsteps of his uncle. Backing away from the door, he scrambled to hide behind a row of hedges as Obie opened the door to the workshop.

Before he left, Obie turned and said, “I’m only trying to help, Howard.” His answer was a tumbler of amber liquid crashing against the doorframe. Obie only shook his head and left. Tony watched him go, wondering if he should chase after him, beg him to help his dad, but instead he stayed firmly in place.

After long minutes, he straightened his shoulders and opened the door to the workshop. If Obie wasn’t going to be there for his father, someone had to take his place. He peeked around the corner to spot his father sitting at the workbench with schematics thrown over the table, nearly dripping off the edge. Near him to the side was the model city that Tony always wanted to play with, but his father shooed him away all the time.

“Father?”

“What is it now, boy?” Howard lifted his head from his folded arms. His eyes were bloodshot and wet. 

“I wanted to know, I wanted to-.”

“Spit it out!” Howard yelled.

Tony clenched his hands, wishing he had Blu with him. “I wanted to know if you needed any help?”

Howard barked out laughter and shook his head. “I’m reduced to needing the help of an eight-year-old. Perfect, just perfect. Sure, why the hell not. Come in, Tony, regale me with your brilliance.”

Tony slipped into the workshop, his knees jittery as he jumped over the piles of wires and breadboards. He pulled a stool over to his father’s bench and climbed onto it. Looking over the schematic, he could tell that it was some kind of pod, but not what it was for at all.

“This is the vita ray chamber that Steve Rogers was placed in during the injection of the serum.”

Thrill pulsed through Tony and he smiled at his father. “Wow! You made this, right?” It said so in the book, so he knew he was correct.

“Yes, I did. Erskine made the serum, I made the catalyst to get the serum to work,” Howard said and pulled some of the schematics back onto the table. “It was a fairly simplistic design considering it was the 40s.”

“But it worked,” Tony whispered as he looked over the components. 

“Sure did,” Howard said, and Tony detected a swell of pride in his father’s voice that deflated as he added, “Now it doesn’t matter because we don’t have the formula for the serum.”

“What do you have?” Tony asked. He was taking college level chemistry even though he was still in high school. 

Howard chuckled, but it sounded more amused than laced with malice. “Here, have a go at it.” He placed a notebook in front of Tony. “That’s all we have left of Erskine’s notes.”

“Some of them are in German.”

“Well, it’s good those German classes didn’t go to waste. But here,” he said and flipped the pages. “Here is his own code or something. I can’t make heads or tails of it. Something about integration. I have no idea what it means.”

The diagrams were rudimentary, but Tony knew enough about the double helix of DNA that he recognized the ladder of the bases. He also knew that the double helix wasn’t discovered until the early 50s, Erskine wouldn’t have known, unless he was way before his time in his thinking. “Maybe he designed it to be inside a person’s genes. Like integrate somehow. How would he do that?”

Howard placed his chin in his hand as he studied Tony. “I have no idea. We just don’t have the proper technology to do it.”

“Well, we put a man on the moon with your help, I’m pretty sure we can figure this out,” Tony said, and Howard clapped him on the back.

“That’s my boy. None of that baby crap with that stuffed animal you insist on dragging around. This is my boy. You’ll figure it out. I’m sure. Maybe someday you’ll even figure out how to miniaturize the arc reactor!” Howard smiled. Even with the sharp jab, Tony beamed at Howard’s words. It was so rare to receive a compliment from his father. Howard cupped his hand around Tony’s shoulder. “Maybe next time I go to the Arctic Ocean to search for Cap’s plane you can come with me. Just the two of us. Father and son.”

Tony had never been happier in Howard’s presence than at that moment. A moment that drifts away from him as he sits up on the cot in the middle of a cave in somewhere Afghanistan, his chest aching and his head pounding. He never did get to go on that Arctic Ocean trip. Howard went on a drinking binge and beat his mother and Tony. His mother packed their bags and they spent the next year in Italy until Howard came sniveling to her on bended knee. It happened that the company was in trouble and he desperately needed her money to fund it. The stock price had bottomed out. She was the only way to save the company. Maria and Tony. 

He hated Howard then, but he clung to hope. Now, as he looks at the lion chained in the corner, all hope withers away. Tony shivers because even in the desert it’s cold, especially in a prison. His doctor, Yinsen, who saved his life is puttering around in what Tony can only call a makeshift kitchen. He’s boiling something their captors gave him. That’s the order of the day. Boiled whatever. Maybe it’s boiled shoe leather. He remembers that sometimes during the Great Depression people were desperate for food. Were they that desperate? He’s not desperate. He has no appetite. 

The lion shuffles and the chain jangles. 

The great cat is hungry. Tony can see it in those too blue eyes. 

“Maybe it’s blind,” Tony comments. 

Yinsen smiles and picks up something from his cutting board. He tosses it in the air and the lion jumps up and plucks it out of the air. He chews it, licks his lips, and then settles back down, not hoping for more.

“Well maybe not then.” Tony stands up. The cave wobbles as he gets his legs under him. He picks up the battery. “Don’t think you should waste our food on the beast.”

The lion growls. 

Tony quirks an eyebrow at the lion. “Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to offend.”

“He’s smart. You should be nice to him.” Yinsen waves the dull knife he’s working with at Tony.

“I don’t really want to be nice to the predator that’s going to eat me when this is all over.” The lion was in desperate shape. Thin, ragged, his fur matted. If it got the chance it would definitely devour both of them.

“I don’t think so,” Yinsen says. “He has a good heart.”

“You are a weird little man,” Tony says and slowly makes his way to stand by Yinsen’s side. It isn’t easy. Metal parts litter the floor of their little hovel. It reminds Tony of his father’s workshop. “Whatcha making there, Emeril?”

“Vegetable and beef stew. Or so I think it might be beef. I don’t know.” He looks at the green brown meat. “It’s seen better days.”

“Probably the trash bin too. You sure we should be eating that?” Tony needs to sit down now. His chest aches.

Yinsen offers him that knowing yet tender smile. “It is the French who would eat rotten meat only covered with the most wonderful sauces and marinades.”

Tony peers into the boiling pot of thin broth. “I’m sorry to break it to you but that’s not a nice Bordelaise.”

Yinsen hums a little. “No, I suppose it isn’t.” He chops up the small onion and the carrot.

“Where are you getting the veggies?” Tony asks and places the battery on the bench next to the single burner hot plate.

“Some of our captors, their children are sick. They come to me and I help them.”

“I thought you said you weren’t that kind of doctor,” Tony remarks.

“I’m not.” He doesn’t explain further, and Tony leaves it. He walks over to the cot again and the lion picks his head up. “Is he some kind of pet?”

“They mistreat him. I saw it earlier when you were not here. They shock him with electric prods and beat him with whips. He doesn’t do what they want,” Yinsen says, and he dumps his vegetables into the pot. 

“What do they want him to do?”

“Kill their enemies, of course.”

“Of course, why didn’t I think of that,” Tony mumbles and drops down to sleep on the cot. Sleep eludes him and shortly thereafter, their captors come, and they start to torture him. They ask him to build a Jericho rocket for them and he refuses. They beat him, they use water. They even chain him within an arm’s length of the lion for the night. Yinsen they take away that evening.

Tony waits for the lion to do the deed. He’s seen how the guards treat the lion. They kick it and shock it all the time. It doesn’t get nearly enough food. It’s only a matter of time. The lion, as Tony calls him, Blu stands up and shakes, his mane a wild wonder. He stares at Tony for a second and then sniffs the air. He smells the blood of Tony’s wounds. There’s no mistaking the hunger in his eyes. Blu licks his lips and then lifts his massive paw; the claws could easily slash Tony’s belly open and disembowel him with one strike. 

Tony shuffles away trying not to startle the huge beast. He hides in the one corner, the chain around his own ankle hobbling him from getting any further away from Blu. When Tony looks back at the monster, the lion stomps his foot down and glares at him. He smacks his lips several times and then grumbles low in his throat. If Tony didn’t know better, he thinks the lion shows exasperation with Tony.

“Well don’t throw a fit about it, I’m not ready to be eaten today. When I am, I’ll tell you. Deal?” 

Blu looks away and stares at the wall. 

“There’s no reason to pout about it. I still have the will to live, I’m not like some gazelle that just gives up, you know. And any way lionesses are the ones who hunt, you just lay around and look regal,” Tony says. He’s testing his luck, talking to a lion, but then again, the animal has no idea what the hell Tony’s is saying. “Whatever, you don’t know what the hell I’m saying.”

Blu looks him dead square in the face and lifts an eyebrow – or what passes as a tuft of hair above his eye pretending to be a brow. 

It shakes Tony to his core. “Don’t do that, you’re creeping me out.” 

The lion lowers his brow and then slowly lowers himself to the cave floor, placing his great head on his paws. He looks at Tony and sighs. His eyes are morning blue like the kind Tony remembers from the winter days he spent skiing in Aspen. Up on the mountain, gazing across the ridged back of the Earth, the clouds dotting the sky only accentuated the azure. He’d felt like he was in paradise even in the cold.

“I heard once,” Tony speaks in low tones to not upset the great beast. “I heard animals that don’t normally have blue eyes – well the ones that do are blind. Is that you? Can you see me? Is that how you got captured out here?”

The lion looks away from Tony toward the cave wall as if denying blindness.

“Okay, so maybe not blind.” Blu shifts his gaze back to Tony. “I still think you’re a crappy lion. Why haven’t you eaten those guys? I mean between you and me they aren’t treating you very well. Just – you know – bite them.” Tony mimes biting and the lion opens his mouth making a sound that melds a yawn with a growl. “Okay, so maybe you don’t like terrorist snacks.” 

Blu huffs and gets up, the large chain clanking. Tony freezes, but the lion only goes to a bone it has tucked in the corner and drags it out. There’s no meat on it; it’s been cleaned by Blu ages ago. He settles down with it between his paws not unlike a dog and starts to gnaw on it. Something hazy comes over his eyes, and Tony recognizes he’s lost its interest. He’s not sure whether to be insulted. 

When the terrorists return, they aren’t happy with the lion’s lack of activity or so Tony assumes. They end up dragging the lion out of the cave by batting it and shocking it. There’s a large gash down its side and it cowers like a scared mouse. Tony’s never seen anything like it. Soon after Yinsen returns and the leader of the terrorist gang, Raza, hauls him out of the underground prison to tell him what they want again. Raza promises him that if he builds them the Jericho they’ll release him. He’ll earn his freedom.

He thinks of the lion, beaten and bruised. King of the beast and a cowering in a dark cave. He glances down at the battery clutched to his chest, the wires hanging – a lifeline. He sees the burning sands of an unforgiving country and he knows the future.

“No. No he won’t.” Nothing will earn his freedom.


	3. Chapter 3

When Tony packed for college, he was in his early teens. He expected to graduate in two short years and then move on to his graduate career in MIT. He’d already gone through the advance placement; the college degree was a formality. He simply needed to get through all his requirements, the English and humanities classes. He desperately hated the idea, but he couldn’t wait to get out of the house. 

His father spent most of his time locked in his den, sodden with alcohol and bitter with defeat. Defeat against what? Tony had no idea. Probably his demented need to find Captain America. Tony shoved his comic books in the bin to be stored away. He didn’t need to bring such childish things with him to MIT. His college life presented him with a whole new world of possibilities and of freedom. Away from the horrendous resentment and hatred that permeated his home like a mold growing on the walls after a flood, except the flood never receded in his family’s house. Not really. His mother resented his father for his drunkenness, for his abuse, for his long need to find a dead war hero. She spent most of her time away – with her friends on the East Coast or even in Europe. Truly, Tony didn’t know. As a little boy he would toddled after her because she symbolized safety, but even her safety grew weary with melancholy and Tony’s love for his mother failed to drag her out of her haze.

College represented a new beginning to him. So, he stacked away all his childhood toys, his books, his posters, but then he grabbed Blu. His little stuffed lion. It was so old by then. Torn and worn out. Once, his father in a drunken rage ripped the head of the lion and screamed in Tony’s face.

“You sniveling little filth. This is what you do? You’re supposed to be a genius. But you play with dolls. What kind of fucking sissy boy are you?” He tossed the stuffed toy in the trash and then back handed Tony across the room. 

Tony had huddled away from his father, sobbing quiet tears. It had been Jarvis who appeared at his bedroom door when his father left. He collected Tony and gave him an ice pack for his bruised cheek. 

“I would go to the police, but your mother has begged me not to.” Jarvis petted Tony’s head. “But perhaps I have a better idea.”

Jarvis’ better idea had been to ask permission to take Tony on his annual vacation. Tony was sure that Jarvis and Ana had better things to do then to cart a little boy around London on all the sightseeing highlights of England, but they did. On the last day of the trip, Ana took Tony by the hand and brought him into their hotel room. The balcony doors were open to the noisy London street below. It wasn’t a fancy room like the ones Tony had always been used to, but one that offered comfort and warmth. He loved its cramped corners and slanted dormer. 

“Come Tony. Here, I have something for you.” Ana reached into her sewing bag, something she always brought on long trips. She handed Tony his lion toy, properly fixed and with a little red, white, and blue collar. The collar had a star as a clasp with the lion’s name etched on it. 

“But Howard.”

“Don’t you worry about that. We’ll get it out of his view.” Ana stroked his cheek and he’d fought back the tears and he grasped the lion close to his chest. 

Tony cradled the old toy. It was time to give up all childish things. For pity’s sake he was going to college and would be surrounded by people a half dozen years or more older than him. He didn’t need further proof that he was a boy and they were all nearly adults. Little Blu’s glass eyes were clear even with the scratches from years of being hauled around with Tony. He gazed down at it. He needed to put it into the bin to be put away, stashed in the closet or attic. That’s when Jarvis walked into the room.

“Packing up? I will miss you, Anthony.”

“Me too. I mean.” He squeezed the little toy. “I’ll miss you, too.”

Jarvis peered into the box with the comic books and other cast offs from a childhood stolen. “I see you’re putting these away. Maybe someday your children will love them as much as you did.”

“Maybe,” Tony said and doubted very much he would ever have a child. A family wasn’t really in the cards for someone like him. He knew that even at his very young age. 

“And Blu?” Jarvis reached a hand and Tony gave the toy to him. “What will you do with him?”

“Pack him away, I guess.” Even saying it hurt. It was time to say goodbye.

Jarvis cradled the little stuffed animal and walked over to the window. Staring out, he said, “You know, the legend of Blu is no fairy tale.”

“Jarvis I’m not a child anymore.” 

Jarvis only smiled that knowing smile and then settled on the bed. He patted the empty space next to him. Tony huffed once and sat down. Jarvis pet the stuff animal. “You might not want to believe the story of the lion with blue eyes that roams the world looking for his home, but why throw away that story. It does no harm to believe it.”

“It’s child’s story.”

“To what end, this lion he hasn’t found his home. He keeps searching. There’s no moral to the story, no end. It doesn’t end happily ever after.”

Tony stared down at his toy. “I thought it did.” He looked up at Jarvis. “I thought it had a happy ending. That the lion found his home. That he found his love and found peace and his place in the world. That’s what you told me.”

“That’s the story I always told you, that your mother told you. But the truth of it is, that the lion still roams.”

“That is one old lion, Jarvis,” Tony said and stood up, taking the toy. 

“Who said it was really a lion?” Jarvis grinned at him. He got to his feet, a little slower than he did as a younger man. “When you’re done packing, I’ll bring the boxes to the storage closet.” He walked out of the room without further explanation.

“Everyone knows it was a lion,” he said to no one in particular. Except maybe the toy. The toy that got stuffed into his suitcase to be brought to MIT with him. Just in case. 

College turned into everything Tony hoped and everything he feared. He drank too much, studied all the time, partied more than that and cried in his apartment alone. He spent many hours in his posh apartment clutching Blu and whispering how he wanted more than this – more than a life tied to death and tied to his name – Stark. It wasn’t until he met Rhodey in his second year and last year as an undergrad that things changed. Sure, he still drank, still partied, still studied, but Rhodey gave him more purpose, more hope. Rhodey liked him. Tony left Blu behind more and more. He figured it was okay. Since it was just a sign of growing up. He figured Blu didn’t really need him. After all, he was just a toy. This wasn’t Toy Story and Blu didn’t miraculously come alive when Tony left the room. The little toy ended up in a corner of his room, stuffed on a shelf behind a collection of philosophical books on the greater meaning of theoretical physics. 

When he recalls those memories now, Tony thinks it’s funny. As he sits on the edge of the cot, ready to stumble awake from another restless night in cave in the middle of nowhere. Sitting not 4 meters away from him is a large lion with the same blue eyes. It looks mournful and isolated like it hasn’t been with its kind in years. It reminds him of his Blu. When he finally dug that old stuffed animal out of the corner, it had been covered with dust and its fur faded from too many hours with a shaft of sunlight hitting it from the window. 

He waves at the animal in the cave corner and forces himself to his feet. Blu only growls and then shifts his gaze away from Tony to stare at the wall. Tony has no idea why the big animal didn’t chomp down and eat him, seems like it would have been the best thing to do for its own self-preservation. The lion even seems to grumble as Tony goes to the little soup pot that Yinsen has on the single burner. 

“What’s for breakfast?” Tony says and his chest aches. What he would do for some ibuprofen or a big bag of weed.

“I’m afraid it is nothing more than oats and water. It’s all I could get from them,” Yinsen says. He sprinkles a little of the sugar he’s been hording into the pot. “It’ll be fine.”

Tony’s stomach growls and the smell of the oats elevates him to levels higher than heaven. All the years of his life he’s always eaten the best foods at the best places. Now, a simple bowl of oats boiled in water causes him to swoon with delight. When Yinsen dishes out the food, Tony thanks him and then catches the look of the lion in the corner of the cave.

“Do we have anything for him?” 

Yinsen shakes his head. “They will come for him soon. He will be fed.”

Tony doesn’t ask what that means. He doesn’t want to know. He eats the oats while watching the lion. It lays on its side in the shadows of the room. “I think it’s supposed to intimidate us.”

Yinsen shrugs his shoulders. “Have you not heard of the lion with the thorn in its paw? Those who help it, are rewarded.” 

“I suppose.” Tony chews on the hard mush, relishing it while the tears wet his eyes. He doesn’t know why every morning when he eats he cries, but he does. Yinsen sits next to him on the cot and grips his shoulder with one hand, his other holds his own bowl of oats. Every morning they go through this ritual. Every morning, Tony finds a way to survive the rest of the day.

Their captors come with shock sticks and bully clubs. They unlock the lion as it roars at them, arching away instead of attacking. Tony wonders at the lion as it quiets and follows the men out of the cave, the long thick chain dragging along the rocky floor. The lion looks back at Tony with a mournful glance before its captor tugs it to follow. They leave and Tony worries he’ll never see the lion again. 

Yinsen points to the door with a small spoon. “You have developed a heart for this lion.”

Tony denies it. “He’s a meat eater. I’m meat, just glad he’s not here. Hoping he eats them.” He shakes away the concern that bubbles underneath the calm. Today he changes everything. He isn’t planning on dying, he isn’t planning on spending the last days of his life in his hell hole. First, he has to do something about the damned battery connected to his chest, then he’s going to blow this fucking place wide open – literally. 

It doesn’t take long for Tony immerse himself in the task. He sees nothing, thinks of nothing for days. When he emerges from his heady meditation of discovery and building because Yinsen prompts him to eat, Tony notices the lion is back but has his face in the corner as if trying to hide. 

Tony dives into the stew which consists of a lot of root vegetables and a few scattered pieces of mystery meat. He doesn’t care his stomach rumbles at him in protest for having abandoned it for so long. 

Yinsen is a good companion. He knows when to talk and when to keep silent. He’s also brilliant but unassuming, very unlike Tony. As they eat, Tony lifts his chin to their roommate. “What’s up with old Blu?”

“Blu?”

“Gave him a name, figured he can’t eat me if I name him.”

Yinsen smiles ruefully. “I doubt that is true.” He chews on a piece of meat and then shrugs. “He came back a few hours ago. He had blood on him.”

Tony drops his spoon. “They hurt him?”

Yinsen shakes his head. “On his mouth. He ate- something.”

“So what? You think he’s- what? Ashamed?” Tony asks. He yells over to the lion. “Hey! You eat one of them, more power to you!” The lion rumbles and heaves his muscular body up. He turns around and gazes at Tony, licking the blood from his face. It sends a shiver up Tony’s spine. Holding up his hands Tony says, “No harm done. Just congratulating you on a meal well served, I think.” 

Quickly, he turns away and focuses on his designs. Yinsen managed to get extra drafting paper from their captors and Tony uses the sharp edge of the battery connected to his chest to start the schematics. He’ll get this done. His father told him scaling down the arc reactor was a fool’s game. It couldn’t be done. But that was Howard – drunk and broken. He may have invented the thing, but he never truly understood it. Like Edison inventing the light bulb. He might be able to craft it, but he would never understand the true nature of electricity and atoms. Howard was miles behind Tony in intellect. Now, Tony needs to take his smarts and run a race where the penalty for losing will be his life and the lives of so many more.

He glances up from his work and spots Blu, slowly lapping at his paws. If Tony gets out of here, they all do – including the damned lion. 

It takes a month, a box of scraps, and a lot of sleepiness nights for Tony to finally miniaturize the arc reactor enough so that it can be placed in his chest. The palladium is a poor choice as a central element to run the damned thing. He’ll need to figure out a better core later, if – no when – he gets out of the damned cave. He’s starting to wonder what the fucking sun feels like. 

Yinsen is a god- sent. The man knows a lot of old myths, legends, classic literature along with his knowledge of math and physics. When he’s halfway through telling Tony the story of Dante’s Inferno Tony interrupts him.

“Not sure this is the best bedtime story, old man.” They’ve gotten into a habit of whispering either a memory or a bit of a book as a way to sign off for the night. It helps them both sleep. They suffer night terrors. Even the lion seems to enjoy the stories. Tony notices that at night he tugs against his chain to sidle up as close as possible to listen to their whispers.

“Maybe it is not. I always used it a compass. What would I do not to be within the rings of Hell. I don’t particularly believe in Hell. It is not my tradition, you see. But one must have a moral compass.”

Tony thinks of all the bombs he’s designed, and the people blown apart as he stares down at the blue light embedded in his chest. What moral compass had his parents offered him? Should he still blame stuff on his parents since it’s been so many years, decades really since they died. Isn’t he responsible for his own actions, now?

“But perhaps you may tell us something? You said you have no family?”

Tony shakes his head in the dark – that’s never going to be dark again with the shining blue light as his forever companion. “No. Not anymore. I had this – this little lion.”

The lion in the corner shuffles about on his chain. It sits up and, even in the dim light of the cave, Tony swears the animal gazes at him. 

“A little lion? A real one?”

Tony chuckles. It feels hollow like he’s a bird ready to fall from the sky with empty bones and no blood left. “No. Not real.” But Blu was real to Tony. In every way but in reality. “He was a little stuffed animal. I carried that toy around for years. Even when I went to college and grad school, I had Blu with me.”

“Is that why you call our lion, Blu?” Yinsen asks. His words are soft as if he’s trying to catch Tony before he crashing to the ground, but that’s not possible. Not anymore. The ground rises up and meets Tony, every night.

“Our lion?” Tony says and his mouth is dry. “Maybe, I don’t know. He was my companion. I looked on him like a guardian.”

The lion yawns and settles down, his face perched between its massive paws. 

“He protected me, even when I thought I couldn’t be protected, or shouldn’t.”

Yinsen moves on his cot and looks at Tony. “Why do you say shouldn’t?”

“Come on old man, you know who I am. You know what I’ve done, what I’m responsible for. This whole thing.” He spins his hand around to indicate the cave. “This is me, through and through. These people hate the US because it bombs them. It bombs them because I have my lobbyist go to Washington and scare the fuck out of Congress. Tell them what’s going to happen, make them shit their pants if they don’t buy the latest and greatest. But you know what they’re scared of?” Tony leans on his elbow. He doesn’t wait for an answer. “They’re not scared of what the terrorists can do to the innocent people, they’re terrified of what it will do to their ratings, their poll numbers. It’s always about the next election. Not about democracy. Not about anything else but the numbers. I learned that from dear old pops.”

“And you believe it?”

“Sure, I do.” He falls back onto his cot. “Never saw a Congressman or Senator I couldn’t fuck with and get them to agree to buy the next big thing to keep their district happy and their poll numbers on the rise.” 

Yinsen adjusts the thin blanket he uses, takes off his glasses, and places them on the bedside table they share. “Perhaps you should reconsider things. Perhaps it’s not about the next big thing, but about how you can change the little things. Help the helpless.” He turns over then, and leaves Tony to his thoughts – which can be a dangerous thing.

It doesn’t take long before Yinsen’s breathing evens out and he falls asleep. Tony hasn’t come to accept his surroundings so thoroughly like his companion has. Yinsen has made a little home here in a distraught kind of way. Tony doesn’t blame him; the man has been here for an age. He shivers. God, he doesn’t want to be here forever. He doesn’t want to be forgotten and lost.

He glances over at the lion who is still awake, still watching him. “Help the helpless. You know, you don’t look too helpless, but you are. You let them hurt you and beat you, for what?” Tony closes his eyes and thinks of the abuse he accepted from his father for unfathomable reasons. “I know how it is.” He doesn’t open his eyes as he speaks. “I know how it is to just accept things, accept that you’re worthless and that you have to work to get their approval. I get it, Blu. I understand.”

When he does open his eyes the lion is sitting up, his blue eyes showing a depth of wisdom and pain that Tony cannot parse. “Listen, you make it through this, you’ll come with us. Just don’t eat us.”

The lion cocks his head like a dog and then smacks his lips at Tony.

“I think you’re being a smart aleck. How the hell is a lion sassy?” Tony smiles. He drifts off to sleep with the thought that he’s going to make it out of cave and he’s going to take his friends with him.

Friends.


	4. Chapter 4

When Tony breaks them out of the Ten Rings stronghold, the lion is not their friend – not exactly, but he’s not about to eat them. Blu holds off their attackers as Tony, in his suit of armor, cradles a dying Yinsen in his arms and promises to make a better life. Every fiber of his being wants to linger, to pay homage to this man in his arms, but life is cruel and savages even the smallest moments. He lays Yinsen down and looks to the passageway. Blu growls and shakes his mighty mane. It’s unnaturally blonde. Tony never noticed in the dark of the cell. Again, the lion grumbles and then turns with a roar at the oncoming attackers. In the far too clunky armor, Tony swings around and heads toward the exit. He hears shrieks behind him and hopes that the beast takes the captors down. They deserve what they get from the abused animal. 

You don’t cage a lion.

Tony lumbers on toward the cave opening, readying his flamethrowers. He bursts out into the heat of the desert day with flames scorching a clean path for him. It’s powerful, beautiful, and all too familiar. The pain of loneliness etches a hole in his chest deeper and wider than the arc reactor planted there. Then as he’s trying to take flight, Blu surges forward nearly knocking Tony on his ass. The lion gives a wicked roar and leaps into the air, shielding Tony from the oncoming terrorists. In the armor, Tony launches into the air – a free and wild thing. The arc of his flight may be perfectly symmetric and easily calculated from a physics point of view but from his – it’s only a terrible, wonderful thing. He screams as he flies. Knowing he’s free is all he really needs right now; the hell of his captivity is over. It doesn’t matter if he dies when he impacts the sandy earth below – it only matters that he freed himself. 

He doesn’t die. 

He feels like he should have died, considering the jarring collision with the sand. Who would have thought that sand would be so hard to smash into? Not him. He sits there, half buried in the crater of his meteoric rise and fall. His head rings and the world around him blurs in and out. He smells the grit of it, the sand and his blood mixed together. His bones sing with the echoes of his collision. Intellectually, Tony knows he should get moving, find shade, search for some way to save himself. But that’s just it, for so long Tony’s depended on his wealth and notoriety to rescue him. It hasn’t rescued his soul, but right now, he isn’t sure that matters. He climbs to his feet and abandons most of the gear from the armor.

Tying part of his shirt around his head to beat the heat, Tony sways. He feels like he just got off a spinning amusement ride. The vertigo plays with his sense of balance. The unevenness of the sand twists his ankles as he tries to walk. For only a few moments, though, he stops and gazes behind him. Of in the far distance he sees the rocky formation where his captors held him. Yinsen is gone. Blu is not – as far as Tony knows. The lion is still alive. 

“I hope so,” Tony whispers to no one.

He wonders if the lion will free himself, get away from the drug lords and terrorists. Does he have a duty to go back and save the poor beast? He’s not one to know morals and ethics. Animal cruelty is right up there with shitty things people do though. He knows that much. Going back right now, though, is an impossibility. He needs to find shelter and get back to his life. One day soon he might come back. 

He makes that promise, deep in his heart. Nearly exhausted, he spots Rhodey coming to save him. Collasping into his friend’s arms, his brain numbs and all he can think about is safety and home. Trying to find that home again would be a journey that would take weeks and months. It’s months later when the enormity of his life and what’s happened hit him – from building Iron Man to confronting Obie – his guts twists and churns at the memory. It’s hot and burns and his eyes sting. He pretends it’s the makeup causing him his eyes to tear when he says, I am Iron Man. 

The hollowed places in his bones tell a different story. After the chaos of the press conference and Pepper’s efficient method of slipping him out of the back door for escape, Tony stumbles and nearly falls. The vacuous places in his bones don’t give him enough strength to stand on his own two feet. He feels like an injured bird, light and defenseless. Pepper catches him, along with Happy. They shuffle him out of the building and Happy drives him home. Tony waves his dedicated employee and friend – mostly friend off. He’s okay he insists. He just needs some sleep.

When Happy leaves, only half satisfied with Tony’s explanation and mumbling about Pepper and how angry she’ll be with him, Tony climbs the stairs to his bedroom. He ignores everything and heads directly to the closet. He knows where it is. A box stuffed in the back of his closet on a shelf he can barely reach. He gets on his tiptoes and hits at it a few times trying to tip it to fall down on him. It does after a few tries. The cardboard box tumbles down off the shelf and little Blu, his stuffed lion plops down on the carpeted floor in front of him. Tony sits down in the closet and picks up the toy. Its neck has none of the stuffing anymore so its head leans to the side. The blue eyes are scratched, and the tail is non-existent. He holds onto it.

Before he knows it, he has staggered out of his closet in a kind of melancholy stupor. He crashes onto his bed with the lion clutched in his arms. He should feel stupid and childish but instead he just knows loneliness in the pit of his heart. He crawls up to the pillows with the lion and cradles it in his elbow. 

“I promised,” he whispers. He rocks against the pillows and the tears come. He made promises. “I promised to be better.” He tried. He really did. Instead his mentor is dead, and Tony feels chilled and alone. More alone than he’s ever felt.

Tony looks up the ceiling, hoping it will stop the tears from falling, but his cheeks are wet, and the sobbing breaths steal the air from his lungs. He doesn’t want to be the man he used to be. He wants to be someone good. He wants to erase the deaths of innocents from his hands. 

“But I left you behind,” Tony weeps. The words come out garbled, but it doesn’t matter – there’s no one here to hear them. Tony’s always alone. Alone with his billions. How does it feel to be a billionaire? Money can buy yachts and mansion and the best of everything, but it can’t buy him what he needs. 

He needs to be good.

Tony stares down at the small toy. “I remember holding you when Jarvis – when he died. You were there all along. You’re here now. What do I do?”

The toy doesn’t answer.

“I left the other Blu, the real one – well you’re the real one but he’s actually a living one. I left him behind. He’s over there. I don’t know if he even got out. If he’s even safe.” He pets the little toy. “I want to be good.” His words sound so small, inconsequential, but life changing. “I’m going to be good.”

Tony sets the toy on his pillow, wipes away the tears from his eyes, stands up from the bed. He straightens his jacket and heads to his workshop, he knows what he has to do. It might be consider by some as a lark, a fool’s move, but Tony’s life has been plagued by foolishness. For the first time, he knows what he needs to do, and while the world may judge him as reckless, in his heart of heart’s he hears a whisper. It’s something, a need to do, if he doesn’t he might as well rip the arc reactor out of his chest now, and wait for the shrapnel to pierce his heart. 

He’s driven by a hunger so deep and welling in his gut that he can barely stand from the ache. He’s driven by the urgency of helplessness that he once felt in a dark cave, far from the shores of the Pacific. He’s driven by a whisper of hope, so quiet and lost within him that he’s not even sure if he hears it. Maybe the stress of his isolation, self-imposed in every aspect, has eaten his brain. He doesn’t know.

Tony shares his thoughts and aspirations only with JARVIS, who is only his AI, an alter-ego and therefore bound by his personal laws and dictates of his code. His confession doesn’t extend to Rhodey nor does it extend as far as Pepper. He keeps his plans an unspoken truth. He works tirelessly in his workshop to repair his armor and to hunt down any information of a lion in the far reaches of Afghanistan. It takes weeks, weeks after Tony’s already destroyed Stane and his nefarious plans. Throughout the time, Tony works – regardless of how tired or weak he feels. He finds a way to replace the palladium more for the sake of his larger project – the one he vowed to do – than to save himself. It takes far longer than Tony hopes. But finally, there’s a bit of hope.

“Sir, it seems there’s some chatter about a lion,” JARVIS says. His voice is normal, routine, but Tony may detect a bit of compassion or worry – or it might just be his subconscious since he’s been working non-stop for hours with little more than blueberries, almonds, and coffee.

Tony rips away the welding mask as he turns off the torch. “Chatter?”

“Yes, sir. It seems as if that vestiges of the terrorists known as the Ten Rings have been pursuing the lion. The local radio in the area state that the new leader sees the lion as a prize to be taken, killed, and skinned. He wants to don the skin as a token of his strength.” 

Tony slowly rounds the lab bench, leaving behind his latest work. “Any idea if they’ve captured it yet?”

“There’s no word, but the leader has been pillaging villages and scorching the Earth as he rages about the lion.”

“This leader, what’s his name?”

“They call him only by his moniker, the Lion Hunter.”

Tony swallows down the vile taste in the back of his mouth. “Photo?”

“Yes.” JARVIS displays the image of a man in his mid-50s with startling white hair and a eyes like daggers. He’s obviously fit from the glimpse of muscles on his forearm, but his robes hide the rest of him. In his right hand he cradles a semi-automatic, in his left the head of a tiger. 

The image is so cruel, so dastardly, that Tony barely makes it to the bathroom in his workshop before he loses what little lunch he’s eaten. He turns on the faucets and splashes cold water on his face and in his mouth. Letting his face drip as he clutches the rim of the sink, he asks, “How long until the fabrication is done?”

“It finished 15 minutes ago. It is still undergoing testing and validation processes, sir.”

He rips the towel from the bar, wipes his face. “Do we have a sighting of the lion?”

“Yes, we have an approximate location. But sir, the new armor is not ready.”

He practically growls, “It is now.” The rest of JARVIS’ warnings buzz in his head and he files them away. The idea of the lion in someone’s hands, the hands of a professed murderer, enrages him. 

Even as he suits up, even as JARVIS reviews the limitations of the new armor, Tony parses his feelings trying to categorize why this is so very important. Is it just about a little toy? From his childhood? Is it something more? The captured lion stayed relatively isolated and separated from him. Sure, he spoke to it during his captivity, but there was no unending bond. But he recalls the look of the lion as Yinsen lay dying in Tony’s arms. Maybe he anthropomorphized what he glimpsed, but he swears to this day that the beast ached for the lost, even mourned. Then it turned around and attacked their pursuers. He tells himself he owes that lion. He owes Blu and, for a second, Tony’s not sure which Blu he’s talking about at all.

When he takes off, he ignores JARVIS’ warning that the flight stabilizers are still not rotating correctly. He manually forces the stabilization; there’s no time for dallying. It takes him a little over 30 minutes to make it across the ocean and he puts it into overdrive to zero in on his destination. Asia is a blur and then he’s finally focused on Afghanistan’s outer regions where there’s little signs of civilization and only warlords rule. 

JARVIS has minded his business throughout the flight. Probably, the AI went through all the data, Tony’s vital signs and reactions then decided it wasn’t worth trying to tear him away from his destination and his single minded pursuit. 

“The last known location of the lion was reported to be outside of Kunduz on the border near Tajikistan. The Lion Hunter has a stronghold in the area. Local warlords have been attacking the stronghold over the last fortnight to no avail.”

“How close it is to where I was held?” Tony asks.

“About 300 miles, sir.”

“Could Blu have traveled that far in the time-.” Tony mumbles the words but JARVIS answers anyway. 

“Yes. Lions can travel 6 miles to 30 miles a day.”

“Well then that’s within range.” It is but it doesn’t mean much. Tony still needs to hunt down a lion in territory he neither knows nor has been able to build up any goodwill. 

While JARVIS searching for Blu, Tony surveils the countryside. This northern region is far from the metropolitan areas where cities blossom and little can be distinguished from other populous areas of the world. Here large regions of poppies grow to feed the ever-increasing desires of addicts across the developed world. No one can command farmers to plant wheat and other foodstuffs when the products of poppies offer a better paycheck, especially in poorer countries of the world. 

As developed countries cry out when their citizens become more medically, technologically, and environmentally aware, the leaders put the burden of saving the world on communities with little to lose by ignoring the advice, the directives, and the treaties. It’s the way it is. The developed nations expect the developing nations to sacrifice to save them and the planet. It feels a little too personal to Tony as he flies over the landscape that waves in beautiful petals of poppy red and orange.

“Sir, I’ve located where the lion you call Blu was last reported,” JARVIS says.

Tony’s thankful for the interruption. He swoops down to the location in just minutes and lands with a resounding vibration that shakes the village surrounding him. Several people peer out of their small houses. He sees a local elder step out of his house, glaring at Tony. 

“JARVIS, translate what I want to say and project it.”

“Of course, sir.”

Tony raises his hands in a sign of peace. It does open his palms to allow him to use the repulsors at any time, but the villagers don’t know that little fact. “I mean you no harm. I’m looking for someone.”

JARVIS translates into the local Farsi dialect. 

The one that Tony assumes in the local leader inches out of his doorway. He’s wearing a scarf on his head and long robes, but Tony can spot military boots under the hem of his robe. The man’s eyes are squinting, and wrinkles mark his face, though Tony thinks he’s younger than he looks, probably around Tony’s age or a little older. He’s had a hard life.

“I’m serious. No harm. I just want to ask a few questions.”

From under the robe, the man swings an AR15 and points it right at the arc reactor. Tony activates the shoulder panels of the armor and they open to reveal the small rockets. “Listen, Mister Warlord, or Lord or whatever it is. Maybe Captain Sparrow? I don’t know. I don’t want any trouble. I’m looking for a lion.”

As JARVIS translates his words, Tony hears a voice coming from one of the small houses. 

The leader waves his free hand and then replies to JARVIS.

“Sir, he asks if you are one of the Lion Hunter’s men?”

“JARVIS give me a read on any signatures that indicate weapons?” He knows that he might not get great data, but any information would help in this situation.

“Not that I can tell, sir. Though if the weapons are projectile then I would not read them without activity.”

“Yeah that’s what I thought,” Tony whispers. “Tell him no.”

JARVIS does and then man walks a few feet toward Tony. Only 20 feet separate them now. He says, “Why do you want the lion?”

Tony swallows down the fear. He can’t play this as easily as he thought. But he has the suit and can rocket away at any time he wants. “I’m here to save him.”

A small child races out of the house the man came from as soon as JARVIS finishes speaking. The boy clings to his father and jabbers on about something. 

“JARVIS?”

“The boy seems to be begging his father to help the lion, saying the lion saved him and his sister only last week.”

The leader waves his weapon at Tony while comforting the boy by stroking his hair from his face. “You come to save the lion?” He speaks English.

In a show of deference, Tony lifts the faceplate. “Yes. The lion once helped me. I want to help it.”

The man shakes his head. “You may be too late. Lion Hunter was here only yesterday. He’s after the lion.”

“Which way?”

The leader points to the south. “We told him the lion goes that way. We tell you the lion went -.” He points in the opposite direction. “Go and save him before Hunter comes back.”

Tony nods and the faceplate snaps shut. “JARVIS let’s go.” He shoots up into the air and sees the villagers have emptied out from their houses to line the street and watch him rise into the sky. “Let’s head south first.”

“Sir?”

“Those people are scared of the Hunter. We’re going to settle this once and for all.”

“South it is, sir.”

His path zooms south as JARVIS scans the road for recent activity. Most of what they find is local traffic, farmers crisscrossing the countryside with their everyday workload. It’s getting late and the sun starts to set. Tony notices most of the old trucks and a few cars on the roadway stop for evening prayers. Men climb out of the vehicles, lay down their prayer rug facing Mecca, and take to their evening devotions. He ensures that he’s as quiet as possible when passing over them. It’s this small fact that sets the large SUV apart from the other travelers on the road.

It doesn’t stop.

Men hang out of the sides with heavy artillery and search the horizon, ignoring the setting sun. Tony zeroes in on them and asks JARVIS to analyze the driver as he hovers some distance away. 

“Facial recognition patterns show a 93.5% match with the man calling himself the Lion Hunter, sir.” 

“Let’s go in,” Tony says, and he slams into the ground with a reverberating crunch. 

The SUV skids to a stop and the semi-automatics target him. Slowly, Tony saunters toward the vehicle. The driver gets out, his hands empty. Unlike other mature men in the area he’s not sporting a beard. His lack of piety would disturb the locals, Tony knows. 

“The famous Iron Man,” the Hunter says as he walks forward in front of his SUV. He has a strange lilt to his English; it almost sounds as if he comes from Morocco to Tony’s ears.

“My reputation proceeds me. That’s nice to know.”

“Even out here.” The Hunter waves to the hills beyond which poppy fields grow. “In the middle of nowhere, you are well known for your actions in – what do you call it – California?”

“You know I’m not sure if you’re about to throw me a welcoming party or try and shoot me dead. But that last isn’t going to work, so I’ll just ask where’s the cake,” Tony says as he lets the shoulder panels open once again and JARVIS targets the Hunter’s soldiers. 

“You Iron Man, are funny man, no?”

“Funny as in haha or funny as in strange?”

Hunter crosses his arms and clasps his hands. “I don’t like the way you talk.” He nods.

Before one of the soldiers can lift his gun, Tony says, “Now.” The mini-rockets pick off each soldier with ease. The Hunter’s henchmen drop to the dusty road without a sound. Tony doesn’t like to kill, never did, but some evils are necessary. 

The Hunter glances over his shoulder and smiles when he turns back to Tony. He opens his arms as if to offer an embrace. “Do you think that’s all I have? A few moronic soldiers? They are all ready to give their lives over for me. Why? Because of men like you, men from the West who think they know how to govern here in the wretched Hell that you spit at. We will bathe in your blood one day, you infidels.”

Tony indicates the dimming sun. “Who’s the infidel that doesn’t pray?”

“Allah does not answer to you.” He raises his hand and snaps his fingers. The back hatch of the SUV slams open and a shrill yell scrapes the air. An electric discharge fires and then the beast charges out of the vehicles and straight for them. Hunter flicks something out of his sleeve and presses a button. The lion cowers as the collar around its neck crackles. He goes down and groans in pain.

“So you think Allah agrees with animal torture?” Tony spots the lion’s blue eyes. Somehow the Lion Hunter and his gang of goons had trapped the lion. How they managed the collar around its neck is a mystery. But it knows torture from its days in captivity.

“I think this conversation is over and you are dead, Iron Man. Perhaps I will take over as the Iron Man, no?” He snaps his fingers again. A man jumps out of the back of the SUV. He’s carrying a whip and a remote that must also control the collar around the lion’s neck. He cracks the whip once and the lion startles.

Tony ignores the Hunter and his last goon. “You know me, Blu. You’re not going to hurt me. I’m here to help you. That’s why I came.”

The goon with the remote laughs and presses the remote. Instead of activating the collar, the whip sizzles with electrical bolts. The lion shies away from it. Tony glimpses the marks of its scorching effects along the ribcage and size of the beast. 

Tony shuts down the shoulder panels and opens his hands. “I’m here for you Blu. You just have to trust me.”

“The lion is ours and he will do our bidding. Not the bidding of a western fool.”

The wrangler/goon snaps the whip and it strikes the lion. It jolts with pain and scurries away, not like the king of beasts at all. It’s in pain. It growls at its tormentor and the Lion Hunter waves his hand. The wrangler flicks the whip, herding the lion toward Tony. With a short peer over his shoulder, Blu turns back to Tony. His eyes narrow and his head drops, he’s hunting. The animal has no other choice. Neither does Tony. This whole situation’s gone to hell.

He flips open his faceplate, making the one play that he hopes will help him. “Come on, you know me.” The lion pauses. He lifts his head momentarily and sniffs the air. “That’s right Blu, you know me.”

The lion relaxes his shoulders. And purrs.

“What trickery is this?” Hunter snaps his fingers and his companion jerks the whip. It lands on the big cat’s back, searing and sizzling. The lion leaps up, claws out, jaws open wide. He twists against the assault and swipes a giant paw at Hunter. 

Tony hears the click of the collar remote being activated before the results are apparent. The lion howls but doesn’t stop his attack. His massive claws out, he slices at the Hunter’s belly. But the shock collar hits him hard and his misses, fumbling chin first to the ground, shaking from the pain. It’s the one moment Tony has to act, and he fires the repulsors, hitting the henchman squarely in the chest. It should have knocked him on his ass – it does, but not before he’s able to snake the whip out for one last strike. 

It doesn’t hit the lion – it hits Tony, firing the armor’s capacitors. JARVIS warns of overload and Tony shoots off another repulsor. His aim goes wild but thankfully, it hits the vehicle. Hunter screams and runs to one of his fallen soldier, picking up a AR15 as the crackles of lightning flash over Tony’s suit. He’s lucky it hasn’t fried his skin yet. The maniac tumbles down on the roadway, semi-automatic in hand and shoots without regard to aim. The bullets go wide, but then he seems to focus targeting directly at the big cat who has turn his attention fully to his captor. 

“Shit!” Tony yells and launches the suit into the air. It’s barely functioning, the HUD display fogs out more than once. “JARVIS how much does a full grown lion weigh?”

“Approximately 400 pounds, sir.”

“Suit can handle that, right?” He doesn’t wait for an answer. He veers downward as Hunter aims directly at the cat. Tony impacts with the lion’s back. His shoulder panels open and he spreads a suppressing fire in the direction of the hunter at the same time he gets arms around his magnificent mane. “Lift us off, J!”

Bullets ping against the armor. It takes too long for JARVIS to stabilize the thrusters and calculate the load, but they get in the air, wobbling as they do. The lion goes slack in his arms. “Freeze arms, JARVIS.”

“Done. Sir, due to the electrical damage you will not be able to sustain flight for more than a hundred miles.”

“Bring us somewhere we can find shelter, preferably with connections to the outside world,” Tony said. He can’t see a thing, only lion mane in his face. “Fuck.” He can’t fucking believe he’s got a full-grown lion in his arms and he’s not dead. “Just stay calm, Blu. We’re almost there.”

The absurdity of flying with a full grown male lion sweeps over him like the wind playing with the beast’s mane. Tony finds something both exotic and comforting about it; he’s almost lost in the haze of the surrealistic feelings overwhelming him when JARVIS chimes in.

“Sir, the armor has an issue with the arc reactor interface.”

“Is there a problem with the reactor?” Tony concentrates on the readouts of his implanted arc reactor. It’s functioning at capacity and within range. 

“No, sir. It’s the actual interface that integrates the power of the arc reactor with the suit. I’m afraid the energy discharge caused a short. It’s fluctuating. I don’t suspect it w-.”

The HUD goes dead and they drop like a stone out of the sky. The lion grapples in Tony’s grip. The armor no longer able to maintain its hold of the big cat. Any second, Tony’s going to lose his grip on Blu and he’s going to plummet to the ground. Doesn’t matter, either way they’re both going to fall. 

Yet, the lion twists in Tony’s arms, struggling and growling in the wind. He’s not sure what the animal wants and with a few short seconds before they hit the rocky terrain below, Tony doesn’t have any time to figure it out, but then the big cat’s front paws go around Tony, holding onto him. His massive head braces against Tony’s, the softness of the mane cushioning his head. He tries manually to force the suit to turn in the air so that he can take the brunt of the fall. Maybe the metal alloy of the suit will save them. But it’s all in vain, the ground is far too close, and the armor is dead in the sky. 

He yells out, “Brace for impact!” His arms tighten around the big animal, but for all the world, he feels like a little boy grasping his tiny stuffed toy when the crushing collision happens, and the world goes blank.


	5. Chapter 5

When Tony comes to, his head aches and his mouth takes like grit and sand and blood. He coughs and tries to roll over, thinking maybe he should stop the late night binge drinking. That’s when he realizes he’s not in his own bed, but still in the Iron Man armor after what should have been a fatal crash. The armor stalls all attempts to move; it’s mangled and useless. He calls out to JARVIS but the AI is still off line. He needs the manual release. Bringing his right arm to his left shoulder tells him that he’s probably damaged his wrist, arm or both. He groans and lies back down. 

Then he realizes how fucking hot he is. How long has he laid in the suit? How long has he been out of it? If he’s lying out in the sand he’ll cook in the suit, especially since the inner climate control is shot. Gritting his teeth, Tony swings his aching arm across his chest and slams the release. For a second, he thinks it’s broken but then the armor plates grind and wheeze like an old man trying to ride a bike. It opens. Tony forces himself to get out of the armor and onto the rocky surface. He drops to the ground and squints his eyes. 

Everything hurts.

He shivers and worries that it might be shock, probably is shock. He’s going to die because he decided to save a wild animal that reminded him of a stuffed toy. How fucked is he? Something in his side crunches – rib probably. His legs feel okay, but his head – not so much. He stays there with his face in the dirt and the sun beating on the back of his head. Blood drips down his temples into his eyes. He closes them. Luck would have at least killed him on the descent. Now, he’s going to suffer and die of heat and injuries. 

Tony hears a shuffling not far from him and it makes no sense. He’s not firing on all cylinders. His brain fells thick, like old oil in a seizing engine. Opening his eyes, he tries to glimpse what’s making the sound when he notes a shadow cast over him, then a velvety touch of a tongue strokes up the side of his face.

“Fuck!” It’s the lion. It’s going to fucking eat him. If he had energy or any ability to move, he would scramble away. As it is, the lion simply licks him again and then opens its mouth. Tony whimpers. He wants to curl up, he wants to run, but his body freezes with fear. 

Why isn’t it flight, fight, or freeze? That’s what it should be, because right now he can’t move. Paralysis overtakes him.

The lion tests its jaws against Tony’s back, not piercing him – yet. His mind reels. He’s always wondered about those gazelles or antelope on nature shows that just lie there frozen but still wide awake and aware. They don’t move as the lion or tiger or other predator grips them in their jaws. Their eyes are stark and frank with the knowledge of impending death. Tony knows his eyes show the same mortifying terror. The lion closes its mouth then and nudges Tony, moves him until he’s on his side, then Blu opens his mouth again.

No. Tony doesn’t want to watch this. From the angle Blu positioned him, Tony can clearly see the lion’s jaws, the massive paws with long talon-like nails. The last thing he wants is to watch himself being devoured. He attempts to move but that’s when the lion decides to strike. He opens his mouth and seizes Tony’s shoulder and chest between his jaws. 

Tony cries out. 

The bite never comes. Instead, Blu clenches Tony’s body in his mouth and starts to drag him away from the armor. He’s so gentle and careful, Tony shivers in his grasp. Blu continues away from the bare patch of ground where only short shrubbery and brambles grew. The rocks, sticks, and weeds tug and poke into Tony. He feels every loose pebble and thorn as the big cat maneuvers him into the shade of a large copse of trees. This is where the lion will feast and a small sob escapes Tony’s throat. 

The lion places him near the trunk of a tree and then sidles up next to him. Before Tony can clamber away, Blu plops a huge arm over him and tucks him by his side. Then slowly and meticulously starts to lick him – all over.

“You know, I know we shared close quarters for a while there, but usually I expect a little foreplay. Maybe a drink or two.” He doesn’t say dinner. Because he’s the dinner. 

Blu nuzzles him next to his shoulder, yawns, but then gets back to his work of licking Tony all over. It’s terrifying and disgusting. When Tony shifts to move slowly away, the big paw squashes his movements and presses too firmly on his ribs. He moans at the touch and Blu eases his pressure. Blu stares down at him as if assessing his wounds, then tenderly licks the blood from Tony’s head. Blu’s tongue lingers near Tony’s pulse point on his neck. Holding his breath, Tony cringes as he waits for the fatal bite. 

It never comes.

If Tony didn’t know better, he would swear that Blu’s cleaning his wounds in the best way he knows how. It can’t be right; a lion wouldn’t save him and care for him. That makes no sense. But then again, a lion flying through the air with Iron Man tops the cake – so what the hell does he know? 

When he tries to wiggle free again, Blu stops him and then softly nudges him as if to tell him to stay still. It’s weird and oddly comforting. The lion’s too strong, too brutally huge to wrestle. Tony succumbs to his ministrations. He finds himself drifting and he fights the urge to sleep. It’s even ridiculous to consider that his body’s so relaxed in the arms of a big game predator. 

Maybe it’s all just a dream. 

He falls asleep in the arms of a lion he calls Blu. 

Tony wakes as the sun sets and the horizon shines with bright orange and crimson colors. Blu is nowhere in sight and he can hear the insect sounds humming as the night rises across the foothills and slopes of the mountains. Tony pushes up with his uninjured hand and groans. The pain in his side is definitely bruised ribs at least but might be worse. He bites back any sounds and scans the area for the lion. He finds nothing. No sign.

“Well isn’t that a nice how do you do. He has his way with me and off he trots. Could have at least said thanks for the save,” Tony mutters. He has to get back to the armor, find out what’s wrong with it, see if he can rig up the communications to call for help. 

Using the trunk of the tree, Tony leans against it as he gets to his feet. He smells like a zoo. “Guess that’s the Eau de Lion.” He stands there against the tree and lifts his black shirt to cover his nose. That only makes it worst. “I stink.” 

Pushing off the tree trunk, Tony concentrates on trying to locate his armor. Blu hauled him a short distance, so the armor should still be in sight. It would be easier if he hadn’t fallen asleep, but he hopes to pick up on the glint of the dying rays against the shine of the armor. Standing hurts his head a little but he’s surprisingly in decent shape – all things considered. Even so, he can’t spot the armor. He’s going to need to find shelter tonight and then go search for it tomorrow. He doesn’t know what kind of wild animals inhabit the rural areas of Northern Afghanistan, nor does he want to find out. He already knows a hungry lion is around. 

Tony looks behind him, where there’s a small slope up the side of the foothill. It’s rocky enough that it might mean some cave or notch in the side of the hill he can burrow into until daylight. He doesn’t relish spending more time in a cave, but it’s better than hanging out exposed in the middle of nowhere. Of course, if he falls and smacks his head that will be the end of it. Grimacing, he braces his good hand against his painful ribs and starts toward the slope. 

A growl stops him. Turning, Tony discovers Blu has returned – and he’s not alone. He’s brought what looks like a dead animal – some kind of deer. He drops it on the ground and makes a small noise that sounds suspiciously like a purr.

“Is that dinner?” Tony waves at the carcass. 

Blu purrs louder.

“Hmm. Thanks, but I like my meals a medium not rare, or breathing.” The dead eyes of the deer creep him out. The lion stands up and leaves. He walks away from Tony. His offering – a mangled deer with an obviously broken neck - left behind. “Hmm, you can take that. I don’t want it.”

Blu glances over his shoulder, mutters a growl as if he’s irritated with Tony’s reaction, and then continues to walk away. 

Tony waves in the air. “I don’t know what you want me to do with it. I’m not eating that!” 

The lion rumbles louder but sounds like the old men Tony used to see at the park when he was a child. They’d sit there playing chess, complaining about the noise, the current politicians, and very often the children at play around them. 

In due time, Tony hears a clattering sound, then a clang as if metal hits metal – or more precisely as if metal alloy clanks against metal alloy. When Blu returns, he’s carrying what’s left of the suit in his mouth. He dumps it near the dead deer, huffs, and sits down. He’s silent and watching.

“Okay then. That’s new.” Tony edges closer and snatches a side panel of the armor, dragging it to him. It’s not the whole suit; Tony’s not sure why Blu dismantled it – or if he did it at all. But the chest piece, helmet and one arm are intact. “Let me see what I can do with this.” 

It’s getting too dark to work; the only light being the one planted in his chest. Tony opens up the armor’s chest plate and pries the arc reactor interface. It clicks and then the whole mechanism releases in his hand. 

“Now let’s see if I can get a fire going,” Tony mutters. The task proves more difficult because he’s working one handed. Trying to balance the arm of the suit with his injured wrist at the same time working on it with his left hand slows his progress. He stops more than once to curse or wipe sweat away from his eyes. When he sighs and leans back, ready to give up, a large paw settles against the piece he’s working on and steadies it.

Tony glances at Blu. Questions rise up but pop like bubbles in the sky. He can’t grasp them, the oddity of the situation keeps them out of his reach. “Okay. You hold that, I can use the repulsor to light a fire once I connect it to the chest piece too.” 

Blu only huffs and watches with those intensely blue eyes. It’s disconcerting that the lion eases Tony’s troubled soul. Only hours ago, Blu terrified him, but now the lion sits like an expectant pet waiting for dinner. 

“Go ahead, you can eat.” 

Blu opens his mouth and a mismash of rumblings comes out. He sticks his nose up in the air as if to show his disdain. 

“Well if you don’t like it, I don’t know why you think I would.” He manages to get the repulsor charged. “There. Just need some branches and wood for a fire.”

Blu groans like he’s exasperated with Tony, stands up, and walks into the dark. While Tony worked the sun had dropped below the horizon and twilight descended. The tiny circle of light puddling out from the arc reactor affords him little to no security in this wilderness.”

“Hey, Blu, come back. I didn’t mean it. You’re a great host.”

Tony slumps. It’s just him, the tree, the broken suit, and a carcass, that’s sure to attract more unwanted attention. He needs to get it far enough away that any scavenger animal coming for it won’t set his sights on fresher meat instead. Of course, that means he actually has to pick that thing up and haul it somewhere far away from here, then make it back to his little space. He should have climbed up the side of the slope and hidden in the alcove of a rock formation. Being out in the open like this is fool’s play.

“Fuck.”

A shadow moves close to his little circle of light. Tony startles but then Blu re-appears. He pads over to Tony and drops a mouthful of branches next to him.

“What the-?” Tony looks from the piles of branches to the lion and then back again. “Shit. How did you know? How did you get that?”

Blu lifts his paw and then touches the suit, then the pile of wood. 

“Do you want me to light a fire?” 

Blu lifts his head, then drops it down.

“Fuck, this is creepy. But sure, maybe I’m a Disney Princess and can talk to the animals now,” Tony says as he arranges the branches in the most suitable pattern. He notices all the branches are dried wood, none of them are green. The lion understands, not only understands but thinks rationally, logically. He’s not a biologist or zoologist but he’s pretty damned sure this isn’t natural.

Once he’s finished with the wood, he slips the armor over his hand. It’s his injured hand and the brace of it stabilizes it. He aims the repulsor and fires. A flame ignites and their small campfire is ablaze. As the fire warms their small area, the flames flicker over the lion. The beauty of his mane is only matched by those unnaturally blue eyes. He gazes at Tony, waiting, watching as if he wants to say something.

“I guess you were never a myth, huh?” Tony whispers and then his stomach growls. He doesn’t remember the last time he ate anything substantial. Glancing at the dead deer, he grimaces and moves slightly away from it. 

Blu gets to his feet and inspects the carcass. He sniffs and then licks his lips, sparing a look at Tony.

“Go ahead, be my guess.” He pokes at the fire and tries to ignore the lion.

Instead, Blu mumbles a growl and then bites into the hind quarters of the deer. Tony flinches and turns away. He does not want to see that. He’d never been one to watch nature programs on television. Before Tony even turns around though, Blu drops a thigh at his side and then goes back to the carcass, tearing away the ribcage and turning his back on the fire, blocking Tony’s view of his meal.

The hind quarters of the deer sits next to the fire. Tony swears and picks it up, adjusts a few of the branches so that they will balance the thigh over the fire. He has to keep his strength up; he has no idea how far the nearest village is or if he’ll be able to get the HUD working. In no time at all the smell of cooking meat fills the air and Blu lifts his head and peers over his shoulder at Tony. He licks away the blood on his snout and then mewls. 

“Well, thank you. I think it’ll better than nothing.” It is good, if a little gamey. He tears away the hide and digs into the meat of the thigh with his fingers; it’s hot and sizzling. It’s a lean meat but there’s a little fat to make it juicy. Maybe it’s the hunger but it tastes divine. He eats more than he probably should. 

Leaning back against the tree, he rubs his extended stomach. “You know that would have gone well with some mushrooms and some wine.” 

Blu stands up, stretches, and then joins Tony near the fire. He’s cleaned up any of the blood from his face and paws. His head is not a foot from Tony. Being the impulsive person that he is, Tony reaches out his hand and lays it on Blu’s mane. The lion does nothing. A scratch near his ear and Blu rolls into the touch like he’s starved for it. He paws the air when Tony stops as if asking for more. Tony obliges trying not to think about just hours ago he was sure the beast before him wanted to eat him. 

“I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover, huh?” 

Tony doesn’t know when it happens, but he falls asleep. The next think he knows, he’s curled up tight and snuggles warmly against a thick blanket. As he eases back to awareness, he wonders who saved him, and how they moved him without waking. He hears birds cawing and singing, feels the sun on his face. His mind collects the pieces and tries to make sense of them, and there is no way it all goes together. He jolts up to find himself sheltered by a huge lion under the shade of a tree in the early morning hours. Blu lifts his big head and gazes at Tony as if asking what is wrong.

His heart races. He should be terrified. “I’m-. Sorry. I just need to get up.” The fire is out, just black and gray ashes in its wake.

Blu responds by edging away from Tony and standing. He yawns and shakes his mane, looking at him with bleary eyes.

“Sorry I forget the thing about cats and sleeping for 22 hours a day. Is that the same for big cats?” 

Blu puts his long front paws on the dusty ground with his ass up and yawns again. 

“I guess that’s a yes.” Tony raises a brow. “Look I gotta do my business. So, you stay here and I’ll go over that way.” He thumbs it over his shoulder. The lion drops onto his side and closes his eyes. “Okay then.”

After he finishes Tony squints into the sunshine. He needs to find a way out of here. If he can get the HUD to work, then he will be able to communicate with JARVIS. He looks down at the arc reactor, at some point last night he must have removed the wires connecting him to the gauntlet. He must have been exhausted not to remember anything, plus the sleeping with the man-eating lion. But that is not fair, he has no idea if Blu puts people on the menu. 

He turns around and jumps. Blu stands next to him, not watching him, but scanning their surroundings as if on sentinel duty. It’s beautiful here, breathtaking in its simplicity and it’s barrenness. Off to the right and in the far distance Tony spots fields of rolling poppies in full flower. The bright reds and oranges dance in the gentle breezes. It’s gorgeous if not ominous. There might be people that way – poppy fields definitely are worked in this area, but probably by warlords. He’s not considering going back the way they came, even if he could figure that out since the HUD is dead. That leaves the rocky hills behind them, and that doesn’t look like an appetizing way to go at all. He frowns and Blu sniffs the air.

“Anything?” Blu purrs and rubs up against him as if he’s a house cat marking his human, only this time Tony falls flat on his ass. He’d almost forgotten about his injuries. “Whoa there, big guy. Careful with the merchandise.” He pets Blu along the ridge of his ear and get a long low clucking noise in response. “I suppose you like that.”

As he climbs back to his feet, Blu nudges him again with his big snout. Teetering, Tony does not have enough balance with his injured arm and painful ribs to keep standing and he falls again. With a huff he goes down and Blu swishes his tail; his mouth open in a terrible grimace.

“That is not funny, especially since I’m hurt. You should be ashamed of yourself.” Tony gets up again and dusts off. Glancing over at Blu he sees the lion hang his head and lift his paw. Maybe he was some kind of circus animal at one time? He seems trained and he understands directions. “No big deal. Just be careful. That landing we took yesterday hurt.”

Blu mutters a growl.

Which reminds Tony, he thought he saw a pretty nasty slash on Blu’s side during his confrontation with the Lion Hunter. He turns to investigate. “Now, I’m going to check if you’re okay. Don’t get mad at me and eat me or anything.”

The massive animal settles down, sitting, while he allows Tony to run his hands over his side and flanks. It doesn’t take long to find the horrible slice across Blu’s back. The lion rumbles low in his throat but doesn’t move as Tony inspects the ugly wound. “It doesn’t look infected.”

Blu reaches back and starts to lick the wound.

“No, don’t do that. It’ll get infected. We need water. For drinking and for cleaning up.” He makes the motion of drinking from a cup and then realizes that would make no sense to a lion, yet even as he fixates on how to translate the need for water, Blu lifts up his head and sniffs the air. “Are you searching for water, because that’s what we need unless something big bad and ugly is on its way. Tell me then.”

Blu sniffs again and then huffs at Tony with exasperation.

Considering his options, Tony examines the pieces of the armor left to him. The rest is far enough away that he’s not willing to go back for them just yet. The idea of leaving any of his tech for someone else to find rankles him. He doesn’t even know where to go to get the rest of the suit, but there’s someone who does.

“We can’t go and find water until I get the rest of the armor.” Tony points to the scattered pieces strewn all over the ground. “Do you think you could go and get the rest?” He must have hit his head a lot harder than he thought; he’s talking to a lion like he’s a person.

Blu rises to his great paws and then trots off. 

“Suppose that’s a yes.” Or the beast is just tired of listening to Tony babble. 

He gathers up the armor pieces and piles them under the tree. There’s no fire right now and what’s left of the deer is completely gone. He’s no idea where it went. Hopefully scavengers didn’t come sniffing around last night. He isn’t going to worry about what kind of animals they might be. He scans the horizon for any signs of animal life beyond himself and Blu. He finds some birds high in the sky, but nothing else. 

The morning sun heats up the area and Tony rolls his shoulders. His ribs still ache, but his arm and wrist are a little better today. That’s a good sign. Either Blu’s disappeared for good, or he’s actually listening to Tony’s request. Doesn’t matter because Tony’s priority has to be the armor and getting the HUD up and running again. He sits down under the tree and connects up the wires to his chest. The HUD barely responds. A tiny flashing light on the inner jaw of the helmet tells him that the helmet is getting power but putting it on and requesting the read-out leaves him sitting in the heat in the dark. 

Nothing.

He tears the helmet off only to strain his wrist. “Shit.” A growl startles him and he finds Blu standing behind him with an admonishing look on his face. “Don’t like my language you don’t have to listen.” Then he spots the rest of the armor at the lion’s feet. “Shit, you really do get what I’m saying.”

Blu opens his mouth and makes a small mewling sound. 

“You’re amazing, you know that. No one is ever going to believe me on this one.” Tony says and collects the rest of the armor. “Thanks. This will help me out.” 

He spends a great deal of time going through all the different armor pieces, assessing the damage and trying to identify the actual event that caused such a catastrophic failure. JARVIS did report that the interface between the suit and the arc reactor implanted in Tony’s chest overloaded. In many ways, he’s lucky he didn’t fry with the suit. Before he continues his evaluation, he tugs off his shirt to examine the arc reactor. Blu picks up his head from where its laid on his paws to watch.

“See this, I got this in my chest because I used to be a dick.” He stops. “No not really. I trusted someone who was a dick, someone who led me down the path of denigration. So now I have to live with this thing in my chest so I don’t fucking die.” He places his thumb on the arc reactor switch and then twists. There’s a special motion he needs to do to free it from its chest port. He designed that after the whole Stane fiasco. “Here we go.” It pops out.

Blu jumps up and roars. Tony jerks and the reactor falls out of his hands. “What the fuck?”

Blu noses the reactor and then pushes it with his paw at Tony. Gently, he touches his nose to the gapping metal hole in his chest. He taps the reactor with his paw.

“It’s okay. I can live without it for a bit. I have to check and make sure it’s functioning correctly. We took a hard hit from that bastard.” 

Blu mumbles a growl. 

“Don’t worry. You’re a real worrier, huh? Got any kids? If you do, then I bet you spend all your time chasing after those little kittens.” Tony smiles and goes through his visual inspection of the reactor. He made sure in his redesign of it that he could easily assess it with just his eyes and feeling with his hands, plus a little sniff. Blu perks up when Tony brings the arc reactor to his face. “Maybe you can help. Smell anything like ozone, like the smell in the air after a lightning strike?”

Blu leans over and sniffs the reactor. He smells it a second time and then shakes his head.

“Well, that’s all good. Neither do I. Means this thing is still working the way it’s supposed to!” Tony grins. “That’s our first step to going home.” Luckily last night when he accessed the arc reactor he didn’t cook himself, just the deer leg. He slips the arc reactor back into place and when he glances over to Blu. As Tony tugs his shirt back on, he notices the lion has turned away from him. Then he realizes what he just said. _Going home_.

He reaches over and strokes his hand through Blu’s magnificent mane. “Where’s your home big guy? Maybe I can get you there when I call for help.” 

Blu’s eyes get bigger, sadder, he places his head on his paws and sighs. How long the Ten Rings had Blu for and how long he’s been away from his home – be it Africa or a circus – has to be months, probably even longer. He’s a lone soul. A lot like Tony. He pets the big animal and whispers, “Don’t worry big guy, you got me.” Blu doesn’t respond. 

Tony spends the rest of the day working on the armor, especially the HUD. By mid-day the heat and the pounding sun gives him a headache and he’s getting more desperate for some water. He surveys the rocky hills to his left. Going up there and hiding the armor seems like the best bet. If he does that, then he can spend some time searching for a water source. Once he finds it, he can circle back, get the armor and camp closer to the water. Seems like a good plan to him, but the truth is – Tony’s not a survivalist. He has no idea what the hell he’s doing. 

“Hey Blu, you think you can find us some water?” 

Blu picks up his head and blinks. Lions sleep a lot. No wonder any time they went to the San Diego Zoo when he was a child, the lions were always clunked out. He just assumed they were bored in their enclosures. Blu yawns at him and drops his head back to the ground. Tony shakes him.

“Water. Find. Now.”

A low rumble answers him and Tony’s reminded of earthquakes in California. Blu gets up and stretches, then waits for him. “Okay. I need to bring these up there.” Tony indicates a shadowed area on the rocky hillside. “We can hide the armor there, and then go searching for water.” 

Blu licks his lips and then bends down, carefully clenching his jaws around the armor. He manages to hold a large chunk of it. Tony pulls the rest into his arms, his wrist aching and his ribs on fire. He needs to get help soon. Trudging up the hillside, hauling heavy metal alloy pieces doesn’t help much. By the time they get to the shelter of the overhang that Tony indicated, he drops to his knees and the armor clatters to the hard ground. His breath comes in shallow pants. It hurts to breathe. Blu sidles up to him and licks his face. 

He knocks the big oaf away. “Stop. Gotta- gotta ca-catch my -.” He stops as his lung rebel. Blu pushes him down to lean forward and then gently and rhythmically licks his back. Tony follows the rhythm and his lung and diaphragm relax. He can take a breath. It still hurts just not as bad. He waves Blu away. “Good. I got this now. Thanks.” 

Now he has to drag his ass back down and find a source of water. It can’t be too far. In the distance he sees poppy fields and they need water. The farmers in the area must have a source of some kind. He gives himself a few minutes to rest. He hasn’t eaten all day. He doesn’t want to mention his hunger again, because he’s wary of Blu leaving. It’s getting to be late afternoon. He doesn’t want the lion away from him. It strikes him as odd how much this lion and his little stuff toy represent security to him. 

“Come on, Blu. We have to find water.” 

Blu gets up and heads down the hillside, turn back every now and again to ensure that Tony’s following him. Blu hesitates as he finds his way down the path, choosing a slightly longer but easier trek. As Blu trots away from their tree and toward the right, Tony brings up the rear. With no idea where the closest source of water might be, he’s at the lion’s mercy. He trusts Blu. After a full day and some shadowy times in the cave, Tony implicitly trusts the cat.

“Guess that means, I’m a cat person.” He laughs a little to himself, but Blu pays him no mind. 

It doesn’t surprise Tony when they climb back up the hill again, but this time it’s a milder slope. The terrain turns lush and verdant. Gone is the dusty rocky landscape, replaced by a thin cropping of trees with undergrowth, and, if Tony’s isn’t wrong, the sound of a brook or creek not far. Blu leads him to the small brook. It’s serene and pretty. It’s not a deep water source. If he waded in it, it would probably only come up to his knees at its deepest. 

Tony checks out the area. He can’t see any shelter. He shouldn’t be planning on staying here any longer than he needs to – and he isn’t, but from his work today, he knows it will take a while to get the HUD functioning again. He needs a safe place to work. Once again, he considers the poppy fields. Going for help is probably the saner way to go. These are farmers who grow poppies for illicit drug production. A stranger will not be looked on favorably. He’s safer off on his own. He looks at Blu. Well, not on his own. He has Blu.

“This looks good. But can we drink it and not get worms?”

Blu furrows his face as best he can and leans down to drink. He’s walked across the small creek and his feet are wet. He looks up at Tony as he laps the water. His blue eyes are startlingly bright. They take Tony’s breath away. He’s so very beautiful and calming. Tony’s never been calmer and more peaceful in anyone’s presence. 

“You think it’s safe? Well,” Tony says and kneels down. He cups his hands. “Well, then it’s safe.” He brings the fresh water to his lips and drink. The scratch of his throat causes the water to burn a bit as he swallows but it tastes so very good, so very welcome. He drinks again and wants to drink his fill, but Blu splashes across the creek and places his paw on Tony’s hand, stopping him.

“I should take it easy? You’re right. I will.” He stops and watches as Blu settles down in the stream of water, letting it cool him. Tony lies down next to the stream and places his injured arm in the water, the cold spring does him good. He sighs as he watches Blu roll over on his back and let the water rush over him. He’s a magnificent animal, powerful, well-toned, intelligent, and, oddly, kind. As he observes the big cat, Tony takes note of the slash again. He should get up and make sure it gets cleaned.

He clamors to his feet and takes off his shoes and socks, wading into the water after he folds up his pantlegs. The water is cool against his hot skin. “Come on big fella, let me check your wound.” Blu stops splashing in the water and turns to Tony, revealing the ugly cut. Tony swears it’s smaller than before and not as angry. He frowns. Maybe he judged it wrong earlier. “It doesn’t look too bad. Just gotta keep it clean.” 

Blu puts a paw over Tony’s shoulders, though not laying all his arm’s weight there. He licks at Tony and then with the other paw, scoops up some water and throws it in his face. Tony slips but falls right into Blu’s grasp. With a gentle swat Blu dunks Tony in the water, and then throws himself into the stream as well. They wrestle, but Blu is always considerate of Tony’s injured side and his arm. After a while, they just splay out in the water, Tony against Blu, and let the stream cascade over them. 

“We should probably get back. It’s going to be night soon and I’m going to freeze with wet clothes.”

Blu growls out a response and then stands up – and shakes. A rain of water splatters over Tony and if there was one bit of him dry still, he’s not anymore. He laughs. His chest unclenches. That tightness that stays with him night and day when he’s working or at a Board meeting, it releases and fades, disappearing into memory. He leans up against Blu whispers, “How am I going to go back now?” It’s so nice not to have the responsibilities, the constant rush and craziness of day to day life. Sitting here in nature with his Blu, everything feels just about right.

Blu rumbles a purr at him and walks over to the shoreline, waiting for Tony to get up. “I’m coming.” His reluctance isn’t about leaving behind this sanctuary. He’s only been here a little more than 24 hours. It’s just the long walk back, the hilly climb – that’s all. He will get out of here, leave all of this behind, and go back his normal life. He freed the lion. He wants to go back. It is a good thing. The path downward to the base of the hill weighs on him, the gravity heavy in his chest. It tugs at the arc reactor, causes his ribs to ache all the more. 

Blu pushes him down to sit under the tree and then leaves him there. When Tony gets up to follow the cat up the trail to where the armor is tucked away, Blu herds him back to the tree. Tony can’t get around the massive animal. Every time he tries Blu blocks his path. 

“I have to get my armor. I can’t work on getting out of here without it.” For a crazy minute, Tony thinks Blu is deliberately trying to keep him here – in the middle of nowhere. “I’m not staying. This isn’t some fairy tale and you’re not the secret prince.” Tony marches toward the hill. Blu confronts him; he dwarfs Tony. “Get out of the way!”

Blu roars.

It slams into Tony’s chest, reverberates and saturates his senses. The air from his lungs escapes in tiny pants, and his heart races too fast against his ribs. He can smell Blu’s breath, feel the spittle of the lion on his face. Tony collapses to the ground and Blu finally stops.

Tony stays stunned and frozen on the ground by the tree as Blu turns away and leaps up onto the rocky outcropping of the hill. He stops, faces Tony, and roars once again as if to make his point, then he’s gone. Tony sits there, shivers and curls his arms around himself. The momentary thoughts of serenity and peace dissipate. He wants to go back to normalcy. He wants nothing of this place anymore where he can’t have a nice bed and all the luxuries around him. He wants to leave the stink of a wild animal behind him.

Using the tree to brace himself, Tony gets up. His body shudders. The adrenalin of fear courses through him. He is going to have to take his chances with the poppy field farmers. He cannot stay with a wild lion. His brain is addled. There’s no other explanation. He takes a step, but then he hears the distinct rattle of metal alloy. He spins around, terrified and panicked. Blu stands there with the entirety of the armor in his mouth. The lion glances at Tony and then starts to walk toward the path they found to the stream.

“Oh.” Tony glances at the setting sun and then back to Blu who waits for him. Though the poppies catch the fire of the sun as it melts along the horizon, he sees no beauty in it. His heart forces him to go back, to follow a big animal away from civilization such as it is, and toward a different path.


	6. Chapter 6

Blu finds them a comfortable spot slightly up the hill from the small stream. It’s an old hollow of a huge tree. Tony can just about fit into it; Blu can’t at all. The other trees around them offer shelter. It will be enough for Tony to spend time repairing the HUD. It’s going to take more time than Tony would like, but luckily, he’s not an idiot and in the left thigh panel of the armor he built in tools for just this kind of emergency. It is the barest of essential tools but at least it’s something. He wrenches the panel open and sets out the tools in the tree hollow. He can’t do much tonight; it’s getting too dark.

Blu ends up strolling away. Tony calls out to him but Blu only purrs back. He listens to the night insects come alive as the twilight turns to evening, and then evening turns to night. He hopes Blu comes back. He doesn’t want to be here alone. With deft hands, he slips on the gauntlet and hooks up the wires to the arc reactor. Even with his injured arm, he’s able to do it now. The gauntlet stabilizes his arm. He thinks he should keep it on for a while as a splint as well as protection. 

With a crescent moon shining down, Tony spots Blu walking back to their camp. He throws down a fish next to his feet. The lion is soaking wet with a disgruntled, disgusted look on his face. Tony smothers his laughter. Apparently, lions don’t like to fish. Still, he’s grateful for the meal. He goes about cleaning it. He’s only done it once before when he went on a trip with Rhodey in college. His friend taught him. It was the one and only time Tony ever fished. 

Blu sits a distance off, licking himself dry as Tony prepares the fish and then starts a fire with the branches that he finds around their little camp. There’s not nearly enough fish for both of them, but Tony splits the fish into two portions and gives the larger one to the lion. He eats it happily and, with his large tongue, licks his lips. He paws Tony, being careful to keep his claws retracted. 

“Sorry, big guy, there’s no more.” He finishes off the filet he set aside for himself, but Blu persists. “All that’s left is the head and tail.” Blu hits him with his paw again. “Okay, if you insist. Don’t blame me if you get sick.” He tosses them to Blu who quickly grabs them and chows down much to Tony’s chagrin. “Ew. That is really gross.” Blu huffs and faces away. “Don’t be that way. Come on, now.” 

Those blue eyes study him, and Tony swears he can see intelligence and something like resolve, perseverance, and stubbornness. He gestures for the lion to come close and Blu does. Tony closes the gap between them, and Blu welcomes him. He snuggles close and Blu gives a contented sigh as he lays his head on his big paws.

When Tony wakes up the next day, he’s face-deep into Blu’s mane. He doesn’t move for several minutes, thinking of his little toy. How he would keep it close and tuck it under his arm. Now the situation is reversed, Blu keeps him close and tucks him close under his arms. It brings up the point that Tony’s hallucinating, sick, dying, in a coma somewhere. The idea that his stuffed toy would come to life and save him is ridiculous. Yet, Blu feels real, feels warm and safe. If this is all some kind of drug induced dream or fevered hallucination; he’d like it to stay. Well, except for the part with the missing modern facilities. He would never dream up a place without a proper shower or toilet. Or coffee. Just that convinces him he is awake and aware. This is all real. 

Tony runs a hand down his face and stretches. The hard ground is one thing to wake up to, but it’s a different story to be in the embrace of a wild beast. Blu is hardly that, though. Tony should have guessed it. All the time in their cave, Blu never really tried to attack them even though he was beaten and abused, starved and chained. Something happened to this lion and although he cannot speak, the depths of his gaze shudders through Tony’s outer wall resolve. He’s never let anyone in, not even Rhodey, not to the core of himself. 

Shrugging off the disconcerting feeling, Tony extricates himself from the big cat’s grip and slips away. His ribs ache today but not as bad as yesterday. Sleeping with the gauntlet on isn’t the most comfortable, but it has help stabilize his wrist. He unhooks the wires from the reactor and triggers the release from the gauntlet as he approaches the small stream. He needs a bath and he needs one now. Hanging out with a lion rubs off on him. He sniffs his underarms and coughs. 

He keeps his shirt on because taking it off yesterday strained his ribs too much. Today he’ll keep it on, but he can toss the pants and socks and shoes. He carefully makes it down to the edge of the water. It isn’t deep. He knows that from yesterday. He gingerly picks his path down to the waters. As soon as he touches the trickle near the edge of the shore, he hisses. Colder than he would have guessed, but then again it probably originates from the mountains. He walks into the water and, at first, it’s only around his ankles. As he gets used to the temperature, he wades a little deeper. Finally, it’s around his knees and he sinks down into the water to bathe. The current isn’t fast but just strong enough to swirl around him like a Jacuzzi tub. He dunks his head and scrubs at his hair. With no shampoo available this will have to do. His poor beard is going to look rough by the time they get out of this.

There he goes again, using the royal we, they. Is he really determined to get Blu away from here as well? This is a fine and quiet place for the lion to live his days. There is no one around for at least a few miles. Sure, the poppy farmers aren’t far but what would they be doing exploring the inhospitable rocky hillside. No poppies could grow here and from what Tony’s seen there are no villages close. A lion could live out his days here and be safe.

And alone.

Just in time to mull his dilemma, Blu joins him at the shoreline of the stream. The lion looks positively grumpy as if he’s silently reprimanding Tony for leaving his company. 

Tony splashes at the water futilely. The spray doesn’t even hit the lion. “What? I needed a bath.” He rubs at his chin. “Need a good shave too, but we can wait on that.” He notices the narrowed eyes, the slight grimace to his lips. “What? Are you angry with me?”

Blu growls low in his throat and tosses his head, then pounds his one paw on the ground. 

“Oh, yeah. You are. I didn’t leave you.”

The lion does a small roar. 

Tony looks around and gets it. “I’m safe. You don’t have to worry. There’s nothing but fish in this water.” 

Blu goes to the side of the stream and picks something up in his mouth and then chucks it at Tony. When it hits the water, he jumps away from it. 

“Crap! That’s a snake.” It sinks. “A dead snake, but a snake.” He looks warily around and then stands up. “I didn’t know. Fuck.” Quickly he moves out of the water. “This is why if you’re going to hallucinate a whole world where I’m a Disney Princess and I talk to animals, that you definitely do it in an old castle with indoor plumbing.” He shakes. “Creepy.”

Blu seems pacified and quite proud of himself as he walks back to their camp. Tony waves at him and shakes his head as he goes to collect his pants. All he finds are his shoes and socks. He jerks his head up and there’s Blu standing on the rocky overhang with Tony’s pants in his mouth. If he didn’t know better, he would swear to the angels the lion is smirking at him. 

Tony splays out his arms and he sends a shockwave of hurt through his ribcage, but he ignores it. “Maybe you like to walk around with your dick out, but some of us - _humans_ aren’t particularly keen on it.” Blu’s face twitches and he throws the clothes down, and then stomps off. “What the -. What a fucking diva. Just my luck I get stuck in the middle of nowhere with a prude.” Tony retrieves his gauntlet and puts it on then manages to climb up the slight incline without snapping off his cock. He snatches the clothes and heads to their camp. “Serves you right for stealing my clothes. What did you think was going to happen?” He steps into his underwear and then his black undersuit pants.

Blu snarls at Tony, but it’s not predatory. 

“Okay, okay. Truce. Maybe you were just having a little fun.” That seems to set the lion into a little prance around Tony, egging him on to play. “I don’t know how to play with a big cat. If I had a laser pointer-.” He stares at his gauntleted hand. “How about this one, big guy?” He rigs up the gauntlet to the arc reactor again and then powers down the juice. “You stay there.” He studies the framework of the hillside and sees a spot not far up that he can easily climb. Hustling, he clambers without any grace up the hill and then takes a few torturous breathes. He should rest, but Blu is standing there waiting for him.

“How about this?” He shines the repulsor light on the ground and dances it around Blu. “Watch the light. Not me.” He points to the laser dot on the ground. Those cerulean blue eyes gaze at him. “The light. Look down!”

Blu glances at the ground and sees the light then turns back to Tony. 

“Watch the light!” He cannot believe he is wasting trying to teach a lion to play laser tag with a makeshift laser pointer. “Come on kitty! You can do it.” 

Blu grumbles and then sits down and glares at Tony.

“So, this isn’t your deal, huh?” Never one to surrender so easily, Tony darts the light around Blu who ruffles his mane and languidly sticks his paw out and touches the area with the dot. “There you go. Get it, kitty! Get it!”

Hopping up, Blu plays around though it’s resentful with offended looks tossed Tony’s way. Somehow, he feels like the lion is humoring him. As he decides this is a losing cause, Blu steps over to the dissembled suit, picks up the back plate in his mouth and lifts his chin to Tony as if daring him to shoot the light again. 

He does, zipping it along the dusty ground and then finally toward the big cat. Blu leaps over and uses the armor back plate like a shield, catching the light and throwing it back at Tony. He barely gets out of the way – avoiding the blinding light. 

“So that’s the way it is, huh?” Tony says with a snicker.

The lion raises a brow at him and tilts his head – the armor still in his mouth. 

“Game on, kitty, game on!”

Over the next hour, Tony chases Blu around their camp, across the stream, and through a gentler slope of the hills. He increases the intensity of the beam and Blu encourages him, loving the crash and explosions that occur when he angles his ‘shield’ just the right way. By the end, they are both spent and Tony’s hurting. He lies down in the field and grips his ribs. His breathing tightens in his chest. His decreased lung capacity isn’t helping matters any. Blu stares at him, studying him and then nudges him with his snout. 

“I can’t play, any-.” The words cramp in his throat as it closes on him. He shakes his head. The word fizzles a little. 

Blu puts the armor plate down and then tenderly lies down next to Tony, manipulating him without success.

“What is it?” Tony says when his voice comes back. It’s gravely and ghostly. 

Blu rolls to the side and then gets up. He does it again, each time pushing Tony against his back.

“Do you want me to ride you back to camp?”

Blu crouches down and waits.

“That’s a yes, I think.” Climbing up on Blu’s back, Tony relaxes as the lion slowly stands. Blu picks up the armor plate again and calmly walks toward their camp. He’s careful and slow, ensuring no bumps along the way. “You’re amazing,” Tony whispers.

They cross the stream and he stops Blu as they get to the side with their camp. “I need some water.”

Blu bends down so that Tony can reach the surface of the water. He cups his one hand and manages some water. He’s going to have to figure out a better way to ladle and save it. As he drinks, Blu joins him. 

“Wish I could do that,” he says and strokes the lion’s mane. “You are magnificent. So beautiful, gentle. I don’t know what you’ve been through but you’re one in a million.”

Blu waits until Tony’s had his fill and then carries him the rest of the way to the camp. He angles downward, giving Tony ample room to get off. He does and then groans with the pain. He must have pulled something on top of the injury. Blu licks him once and then waits. 

“It’s a little hot to snuggle,” Tony says, but he still rests his head against the lion’s giant side. In due course, he falls asleep.

He wakes up and nearly half the day is done according to his calculations based on the sun. With so little daylight, Tony doubts he progress on the HUD. He curses and levers himself up using Blu’s side as a crutch. The lion sleeps on and Tony rolls his eyes. _The lion sleeps tonight_ bullshit! He sleeps every chance he gets. He can’t help but smile at his internal joke. 

Back to work, he settles near his tree hollow and examines the HUD. It takes him the better part of an hour to dissemble the helmet pieces, shedding the outer plating in order to get to the circuits and electronics. He sets the helmet aside and pulls the chest piece over. He’s going to have to scavenge pieces if he’s going to get this thing to work. Without a way to solder, everything is going to be jerry-rigged together, but he has an idea how to bypass some of the fried circuits with use of the circuitry in the chest plate. 

By the time he’s blinking and holding the circuits up to his chest to see them better in the light of the arc reactor, Tony sighs and realizes this task isn’t going to be completed today – or tomorrow for that matter. It’s going to take a while. He looks up to Blu who only just sat up from his long nap. Another day without food or adequate water. 

“How long can a lion go without food?” 

Blu blows out a puff of air. He glances away from Tony and then climbs to his feet and ambles off. 

“I didn’t mean go get dinner!” Tony yells after the big animal. “We’re not married or anything.” He looks down at his lap, filled with the armor and then back at the trail where Blu disappeared. “This really does look like some freakish Disney film. Here I am the little Disney Princess and you’re the distraught prince.” He giggles. He needs food and water. 

The side of the helmet catches his eye. “Will you look at that – a bowl. Should use my head more often.” This sends him into a laughing jag that ends with him crying from the pain. He lies there on his back looking up to the darkening sky. “What did I do? Why did I come back?”

A shadow moves close to him and Blu stands there, dropping two hares on top of Tony. 

“Gee, thanks.” He forces himself back up and then starts a fire. The idea of skinning the animals grosses out Tony. “You can have them if you want. I’m not hungry.” His stomach rumbles just to be a dick and betray him. “Not that hungry.”

Blu sits with his back to him, pawing at the side of his face and ignoring everything he’s saying. Tony glares at the lion. He tosses the dead animals aside and rubs away the sticky blood from his shirt. Picking up the helmet casing, he trudges down the hill to get some water. At least he can fill his belly with water. He’s careful and drinks before he fills the helmet then, walking as if on eggshells, he makes his way back only to find Blu on his back rolling around and kicking the neat pile of armor pieces around their camp.

“Hey, hey. What are you doing? Bad kitty! Bad kitty!” The big cat stops and scowls at Tony in the dim light of evening. “Look what you did. You’re making a mess!” He marches over to the armor and starts to sort it again. Bending over hurts like hell but he’s too pissed to care. “This is not Dagobah and you are not an old Jedi Master. You don’t get to fuck with my stuff.” 

Blu whines a little and then gets up, shifting to allow room for the armor stack. He paws at his face again. Tony glowers at him as he adjusts what goes where, but the motion of Blu constantly rub at his face distracts him. “What is your problem? What’s with the face thing?” Blu settles his head on his paws and looks all the more mournful for it. “What?”

A moaning purr but then Blu grimaces and scratches at his nose again. 

Tony sighs and gets up once again, striding right over to the lion. “What is your probl-.” He stops. Setting down, he spots the burrs stick all over Blu’s snout and piercing the tender places in his chin and lips. Blood leaks out. He also spots a few embedded in the cat’s paws.

“Crap. And the light’s almost gone. I’m going to have to start a fire after all, if I’m going to get these out. They’ll get infected if I don’t. How did you do this to yourself?” Tony lightly touches Blu’s face. The lion only moans. “Hurts? I bet. Let me see what I have to help take them out.” 

He walks over to his set of tools, looking for his forceps. He sorts through the toolset, picks out the forceps and wishes he had some disinfectant. Blu follows him sitting down and waiting as Tony organizes what he might need. The tools are sparse, but it will have to do. Blu holds up his paw first. The burrs are stuck between the toes of his foot. 

“That has got to be painful, buddy. But I have to start a fire first so I can see what I’m up against.” Blu scrapes at his mouth again with his paw, but Tony stops him. “No. Have some patience, okay?”

It only takes a few minutes to start the fire thanks to his handy gauntlet – it actually took longer to gather the wood. Once the fire is roaring to life, Tony settles down next to a patient Blu and examines his paw. Only one paw has the burrs, which is good news. Tony angles the paw toward the fire. 

“This might hurt a bit. Don’t bite me, okay?” Tony picks up the forceps and slides them between the massive toes. The burrs are a mass of thorns poking into the tender meat of Blu’s toes. “You know the story of the lion and the mouse. The mouse helps the lion escape and, or the mouse pulls a thorn out of the lion’s paw or something like that and just like magic they’re friends. The mouse doesn’t get eaten. In this story, of course, I am playing the lion and you’re the mouse – obviously.”

Blu muffles a growl and, when Tony glances up at him, rolls his eyes. 

“I think you’ve been studying humans way too much.” The first wad of burrs is free and Tony throws it into the fire, starting on the next. “So, you got these while catching the hares for dinner, didn’t you?”

Blu lets out a puff of air.

“Yes, I was ungrateful. Sorry about that. I just don’t do well in the great outdoors. I’m more of a city guy myself.”

Blu lets out a loud purr in response.

“Oh? You’re a city guy yourself? What? You’re a cool cat, hanging out at all the clubs. Got all the kittens after you,” Tony teases. He finishes the paw and now it’s time to tackle Blu’s mouth and face. The right side looks like a treasure trove of burrs. “Really how did you do this to yourself?” 

Blu glares at him with his most disapproving face.

Tony raises his hands in surrender. “My fault. All my fault.” He leans in but stops short. “Don’t bit me. Remember I’m the good guy.” 

In response, Blu opens his mouth. Tony peers in and hisses. 

“I’m so sorry, big guy. This looks nasty.” In the dim light it’s hard to maneuver especially with the shadows dancing about from the fire. Eventually, he forces Blu as close to the fire as he dares and digs into his mouth, using his arc reactor as a second light source. That means his shoulder’s deep into the lion’s maw. Strangely fear never chills his heart. A sense of tranquility and purpose suffuse through him as he works as if he knows being with Blu will always be the safest place he’ll ever find himself. Slowly and diligently he plucks each burr out of his mouth and then moves to his cheek and around his blues eyes. 

In the fire light the orange flames lick and shimmer in the blue like the sun’s rays playing with the azure sky. Tony knows this is no ordinary lion, as surely as the cat’s eyes are odd and unnatural. 

He speaks lowly, not wanting to disturb their perfect peace. “Is it bad that I want to keep you? That I never want to let you go?” He runs a hand through Blu’s mane. Not confessing how very safe he feels, an elusive emotion that Tony’s been chasing all his life. Maybe the weapons, the armor are all manifestations of his pursuit. All he really needed to do was to find Blu. 

He sits back when he finishes. “All done.” He wants to sleep. “Those are going to be nasty wounds on your face and on your paws. Tomorrow we’ll try and clean them out a little more. I’m afraid my lack of natural information about plants is working against me. I don’t know anything like King’s Foil around here.” He chuckles but it falls hard. The exhaustion hits him, and Blu pulls him close and cuddles him. Falling asleep has never been as easy.

When he wakes early the next day, Blu is munching on the last of the hare. He’s licking his lips and seems fairly content. Tony peeks at him and then realizes the wounds on his face have completely disappeared. “What the hell?” He steps closer and investigates. There is no trace at all of the puncture wounds the littered Blu’s face and paw. “How?” 

Blu only squints his eyes like he’s laughing with a secret he’s not sharing with Tony.

Tony’s stomach growls loud and insistent. “Great! You ate all the rabbit. Maybe save some for your doctor.”

The lion rumbles and stands up, yawning and then simply walks away. Probably off to hunt – though Tony knows female lions are the hunters, lone male lions have to hunt for themselves. He should take it as a compliment that Blu doesn’t consider him his mate. 

“Guess I’m on my own for a bit, huh?” Blu doesn’t turn around and hustles through the thicket. 

They establish a routine within a few days. In the mornings, they go down to the stream. Tony bathes as Blu stands sentinel duty over him, sitting on a rock overlooking the stream and the rolling hills. After Tony collects water in his makeshift bowl they head back to camp. He spends the day working on his HUD and the interface while Blu disappears. By evening Blu is always back with dinner of some kind. Sometimes Tony partakes other times he just doesn’t have the stomach for it. He concludes he wouldn’t have made it as a cowboy or a frontier’s man. 

He gets antsy the longer he stays in the wilderness. He hadn’t told anyone where he was going and, while Tony’s been known to take long jaunts for weeks on end, that’s not his modus operadi anymore. He needs to get back to civilization, back to his friends, back to his life. His gaze drifts to Blu who currently lounges in the mid-day heat. Leaving Blu might be one of the hardest things that Tony will have to do. There’s no two ways about it. At least, here in this little secluded place, Blu will be safe. With enough food, water, and shelter the lion can live out his days without human interference. 

“You’ll be better off,” Tony mutters to himself as he connects wires, cobbling together different pieces and sections of the armor that don’t belong. “Being around humans has brought you nothing but trouble. When I leave it will be good riddance. Better that way. I’ll be out of your hair. You’ll be out of mine.” He hears a shuffling and discovers Blu watching him with a haunted look in his eyes. “Really, you’ll be better off here. It’s like paradise here.” 

Blu reaches over and paws at Tony. 

“I know, big guy. I’ll miss you, too. But I can’t stay here any longer. This is almost done. A few more connections and I’ll be able to test it out.” It’s been too long already. Tony’s ribs are nearly healed. His arm and wrist feel better. Time is marching onward and he’s playing Tarzan. Pushing on him with his head, Blu rubs and ducks his head under Tony’s hand. “It’s better this way.”

With a gruff roar, Blu shoves away from him. He leaves the camp site with a gait that Tony’s come to know as pissed off lion strut. He wants to promise to stay, but all he can say is that he’s sorry. Night descends and Blu doesn’t return. The sounds of the wild chirp, cricket, and groan throughout the darkness. Tony crawls into the hollow of the tree after he throws another log on the fire. Blu has never left him for this long, never dismissed him, never let him fend for himself. Blu’s been his shield against the frightening aspects of nature, the terrifying truths of his circumstance. Without him, Tony has no protection, no hope of feeling safe or sleeping. He keeps the gauntlet wired to his arc reactor, maintains wakefulness as long as he can, and watches the fire. It mesmerizes but it also startles the way it throws shades and phantoms in the endless dark around him. 

He startles awake in the early hours of the dawn, cursing himself for falling asleep. Blu never came home. Instead of worrying for himself, Tony considers the idea that Blu might be in trouble, might have been hurt during his hunting expedition, or even captured by one of the local warlords though they are miles off to the east. The possibility rings in his head like an alarm. 

He clenches his gauntleted hand and heads toward the water. The path through the stream is usually Blu’s first route to find food. There’s a possibility Tony might be able to find footprints by the stream or some other evidence of a big prey animal like a lion. His heart hammers in his chest. Today was the day he was going to test the HUD out, finally get out of this place, but now he’s petrified that Blu is gone, dead somewhere and Tony only thought of himself last night. He calls out several times as he approaches the water. 

“Blu? Blu!” 

The filtered sounds of water currents answer him. Birds flitter in the air around him, lighting in the trees and singing. There’s no sign of Blu anywhere. Tony stands there, lost, alone, and the familiar feeling of despair encroaching upon him. 

“I didn’t mean it,” he whispers and rotates around, searching for his lion, because Blu is his – always. Even if he has to leave him here, Tony will always think of Blu as his cat. He fills up his bowl and walks back to his camp. He might as well do the finishing touches on his repair job, and then get out of here. “But he could come back, and I won’t be here. I have to be here to say goodbye.” He decides to finish up his work and then wait, just for a little while for Blu.

He drowns himself in his work. It’s delicate and he needs to the daylight to get it done so it’s not hard to be lost in it. By the time he finishes and sees the confirmation that the HUD now works, he slips on the earpiece he ripped out of the helmet and says, “JARVIS?”

“Sir? Ms. Potts has been beside herself with concern for your welfare.”

Tony glances up at the darkening sky. Even out here in the middle of nowhere Stark technologies and its satellites don’t fail him. “Well, tell Pepper I’m fine. Everything is fine.”

“It’s been weeks, sir. I’m afraid that won’t do.” 

Tony frowns and says, “Well, it will have to. Do you have my coordinates?”

“Yes, sir. I am working to get you transportation-.”

“Hold off until tomorrow morning, okay?” 

“If you say so, sir.”

“I say so.”

Tony falls silent and then hunts the surrounding area again. No sign of Blu at all. His shoulders slump. He debates leaving now, forgetting this place. It might have been all a fevered dream. A lion that understands him, that listens to him, that lets him cuddle? Obviously, it was a product of an injury, nothing more. That’s what Pepper would tell him. She would look at him with that soft admonishing gaze that somehow imparted understanding as well. She would touch him tenderly and tell him it was all right. He’d been through a lot in the last year. No one would ever blame him. Blame him for what? His delusions? 

He drops down to the stony outcropping overlooking the stream. It’s getting late and there’s still no sign of him. Tony’s talk of leaving may have upset him, but truthfully how much of it would a lion comprehend? He needs to get back to his camp and clean up, getting ready to leave tomorrow. He slowly makes his way through the underbrush and the thick bushes on the path to his tree hollow. He’s tired, and his injuries still ache. His brain doesn’t register what he’s seeing when he looks up. A flash of tan and orange. It hits him.

“Blu?” 

The lion’s massive head swings around to greet him with those blue eyes.

Tony races up the rest of the path and launches himself onto the lion’s back. “Blu! You came back.” He nestles his face into the thick mane and holds on for dear life. His heart crashes loud in his ears and his eyes prickle with tears. “I won’t leave you. I’ll find a way to bring you home.” 

Blu slips around onto the ground and Tony falls into his grasp. They cuddle like that for several minutes. A lion on his back with a human tucked into his paws. “Don’t leave me again. Please.” Blu ducks his head down and snuggles against Tony. Tony listens to his deep purring. “Why did you leave? Please don’t.” The fear bubbles up. He jumps away from Blu. “You left and I was scared for you. I didn’t know if you got hurt or something. Where’ve you been?”

Blu looks over to the side where a large deer lays on the ground. 

“Hunting? Hunting? You never left for that long before. You just go off and don’t tell anyone where you’re going.” Tony hears his own words and stops. He expels a heavy breath. “Okay.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he says, “Okay so maybe you can’t tell me, but you left and-.” He throws his hands out. “I was scared. Okay? I got the HUD from the suit fixed. I told you that’s the communication device. I contacted my people. They’re coming here tomorrow.”

Blu whines and then lets out a mournful howl.

“What?” Tony rushes to him and hugs him. “No. I’m not going to leave you here. I’ll find a way. Don’t worry. I’m not going to leave you all alone.”

Blu leans against him, a shudder runs through his big body. 

“Don’t worry. You don’t have to worry ever again.” It takes a long while to calm Blu and the ache in Tony’s chest isn’t from his ribs, but from the hole dug there by a lion. He soothes the beast and quietly speaks to him until night falls. 

Tony extricates himself from the lion’s grasp and starts a fire. Blu tears away the hindquarters again for him and then walks out of the circle of light from the fire to enjoy his meal. His tail swishes slightly as he eats but he keeps the bloody mess out of his sight. With some practiced skill, Tony manages to cut some meat off the deer and impale it on a stick. He cooks it over the fire and then eats. He’s found some berries around their site, but he has no idea if they are edible. He’ll be happy to eat some fruit and vegetables again. When he finishes, he grabs the HUD again and connects to the comm port. JARVIS is online in seconds.

“Sir?”

“We can schedule the pick-up.” Tony examines Blu. “But I need a copter big enough for a large animal.”

“A large animal, sir?”

“Yes, large like in male lion large,” he replies but doesn’t explain.

JARVIS doesn’t comment on his request any further. “Sir, I’ve studied the topography and geography of your coordinates. Are you able to walk approximately 1.5 kilometers to the south? There is a flat plateau that would be an excellent landing space.”

“We should be able to manage.” He looks over at Blu who is still eating. “Do you have air clearances?”

“I am currently working on all clearances. I am confident the transport should be there no later than 11 am tomorrow morning.” 

Tony throws the bone he’s gnawed on into the fire. “JARVIS makes sure my private jet is ready as well.”

“We’ll transfer you and your companion from the helicopter to the private jet. I am working on a flight plan now.” 

“Perfect, you always got my back.” He ends the conversation. He drinks a bit of the water and makes a mental note to get checked for parasites. He lies down and stares up at the stars. In due time, Blu joins him. Tony adjusts his position to use Blu as his cushion. “Last night before we go back to civilization. I’ll figure this out, Blu, I will.”

Blu licks his shoulder and side of his face.

“None of that, I’m gamey enough,” Tony chuckles, but he hugs Blu close. He knows that things will be different; he’ll be seen as not sane, crazy. None of it matters. All that matters is that they stay together.

When he wakes in the morning, Tony stiff and exhaustion hangs over him. Blu looks the same as he feels. He thumbs it over his shoulder. “Let’s get some water and clean up a bit. I have to find a way to get all this stuff over to the meeting up place.” The pieces and parts of the armor are strew all over their wild home. “Come on.”

Blu shrugs and gets up, shaking and stretching as he does. He yawns a big mouthed yawn and then blearily looks at Tony. 

“You look as tired as I feel, buddy.” He waves the lion over and wraps his arm over his shoulders. “Let’s go get a bath.”

Blu mumbles a growl and Tony shakes his head. “Well, if you’re going to live with me, you gotta get over this issue with water, big guy.”

They weave their way through the brush, though the path is more distinctive now with their constant trudging of it each day. When they get to their stream – and it’s strange that Tony thinks of it as theirs – he bends down and scoops up some water to drink. Blu crouches and drinks directly from the creek. Tony splashes some of the water on his face and through his greasy hair. A quick dip won’t slow them down much. It shouldn’t take more than a half hour or so to walk to the designated pick up spot. 

Tony releases the gauntlet from his hand. His arm and wrist have mostly healed; he figures it was just a sprain and not a break or fracture after all. His ribs still twinge with pain every now and again, but he’s able to tug off his shirt without much discomfort. He tosses it aside as Blu steps gingerly into the water. He looks over his shoulder at Tony who only just encourages him.

“Come on, the first time we found this creek you were rolling in it!” 

Blu muffles his disdain as he settles into the water, shaking his head to scatter the water droplets. 

“Thanks for the shower, big guy.” Tony laughs as he heads toward the water’s edge. He’s still in his undershorts and is about to yank them off when Blu lets out a thunderous roar. Tony stumbles and falls backward onto the muddy shore. He curses as Blu leaps out of the water and knocks him down, practically squashing him to the ground. Tony struggles to push the big animal off when Blu snarls again and then cries out. He jolts up and relieves Tony of his weight but whips his head back and forward. That’s when Tony catches sight of it. A large viper in Blu’s mouth. The big cat clenches down on it, piercing it in half in one bite. The dead viper drops into the stream, blood swirls around it, the eddies of the current turning red. 

Tony stares at the crimson pools as it dissolves, the air in his throat tense. He shivers in response. Blu saved him, again. The outdoors aren’t really for Tony. He finds his hands clawing the mud as he lies there frozen with fear. His heart rams in his chest. Tony swallows down the bitterness of terror and shifts his attention to Blu.

“You saved me.”

Blu hangs his head. His eyes awash with pain. He moves away, staggering. That’s when Tony sees it. The puncture wounds on Blu’s chest. They almost form a star like pattern. The viper bit him several times. The venom must be fast acting and in large enough doses that its strong enough to take down an adult male lion. 

“No,” Tony whispers, then louder he says, “No, no. no. This isn’t happening. Blu, please. Please.” He rushes over to Blu as the lion collapses on the side of their stream. He clutches onto Blu. “No. Don’t do this. Don’t leave me.”

Drool drips from Blu’s mouth and his eyes glaze over. 

Tony’s brain goes into hyperdrive and he takes his shirt pushing it into the water and then dabbing it on the wounds. It doesn’t matter the venom has already done its damage. “No. You healed fast before. Remember the burrs? I plucked them out and you were fine. The next day, you were fine. Do that again. Don’t leave me.” He sobs, the words mutilated by his weeping. “Don’t leave me. You shouldn’t have done that. Blu. I’m not worth it. I’m not-.”

Blu reaches his paw up and lays it gently on Tony’s shoulder. He blinks his big eyes at him and then nods.

Tony sniffles and shakes his head. “No. No, I’m not. You, you’re extraordinary. I’d do anything for you, Blu. Anything-.”

The lion nods again in affirmation. He would do anything for Tony, too.

“God!” Tony cries out.

The sun climbs in the sky, the wide azure sky that reminds Tony of Blu’s eyes. There aren’t any clouds; it’s brilliantly blue and wonderfully quiet as if all the birds and insects fall silent in reverence to this moment, Blu’s last moment. “No!” He looks down at Blu whose every breath is tortured, labored. He buries his face in Blu’s fur, the softness, the silkiness against the coarseness of it etch memories into his very skin. His whole body trembles against the inevitable. “Please, you healed before.”

But this time, it is too much. The venom acts so fast, so very rapidly. Nothing can stop it. Not nature, not science, not a miracle. Blu scrubs at the ground with his paw and then lifts his head if only for a moment to glimpse him again.

Tears blur Tony’s vision. “I can’t do this. I can’t lose you. You’re my everything.” Over the course of a few short weeks, Blu taught him devotion, loyalty, and unwavering resolve. The time in the cave only scratched the surface in comparison with what they shared. How connected and essential Blu had become to Tony. 

A tremor overwhelms Blu and he collapses again, but now it is for the last time – Tony knows. He tightens his grip of Blu, hiding his face from reality. As he embraces Blu around the neck, he feels the last breath leave him and only stillness and silence follow. Everything he planned and lived for disintegrates, lies in ruins in his arms. 

Tony touches his forehead against Blu’s and whispers, “I love you.” It’s profound love, one that stretches out, unites souls, a love that he cannot comprehend but feels to the depths of his core. It’s beyond dimensions, or time, or Earth – it’s love that never ends, that wraps around Tony and protects him. It’s love beyond the ordinary. “I love you, always.” His last is a promise, a vow to always remember, always know that his half his heart, his soul, his breath passes away on this day. “Always.” He closes his eyes as the tears stream down his cheeks.

As he lies there in the sun, holding a lion no one else on Earth will know, Tony feels the warmth of Blu surround him. It saturates him, calms him, brings him peace. Blu doesn’t cool, but instead grows warmer still until he’s unbearable hot – as if his body temperature had always been too cold. Tony shifts away and gasps.

A cascade of color and light flows over Blu. Tony falls back away from the swirling dark blues and brilliant white lights. It expands, tendrils of stars and galaxies enveloping Blu’s body, blocking out the sun. The creek, the pathway to their camp, the sky itself fades, disappearing against the visual majesty in front of him. Blu’s body transforms, turning into the stars, the galaxies, the planets, and nebula. A mixture of cosmic shapes and through it all Tony sees the dimensions, beyond what is possible. He witnesses all of space encapsulated but magnified at the same time. 

Some power courses through Tony and his hands feels like lightning and he yells out against the vision. He turns into the cosmos as well, his human shape vanishing. Yet he’s not gone, he’s never gone. He exists in all time and all space within this cube, within all the higher dimensions. He feels a presence, strong, brave, and familiar. 

_Blu_. His words aren’t spoken or thought; they are.

_Tony_. He feels the shield of Blu around him, protecting him. _You shouldn’t be here. You’ll be trapped, too._

 _I can’t leave you. I won’t leave you._ He searches for his Blu, but he only sees the whispers of nebula shrouding the truth from him. 

_I’ve been trapped for decades. Lost to all. The lion is my avatar in the world._

_Avatar?_

_Tony, look at me. See me._

Tony spins around, but he is not really a figure or shape. He is. He won’t find what he’s looking for by using his Earthly senses. He relaxes into the realm around him, the ocean of stars, the knowledge of hyper-dimensions. He sees his own avatar in the world, proud, intelligent, and curious. Corvid. A crow.

_See me._

The feeling of Blu washes over him, a starlight explosion of safety and affection. He moves toward the feeling, letting it encompass him. When it does, Tony holds on, holds on and wishes. _I won’t let you go. I’ll never let you go._

“I love you.” He hears his voice before he recognizes that he’s saying it out loud and not in his head. He feels the comfort of arms around him and he smiles. “Blu.”

“Not exactly.”

Tony jumps away. A man – a naked man – is standing in front of him – where Blu laid only moments before dead. He puts his hand up as if he has the gauntlet on it, but he cast it aside when Blu saved him from the snake. 

“Tony.” The young man, the very beautiful young man, takes a step toward Tony. 

“Don’t move.” He scrambles and races over to scoop up his gauntlet. It’s on in an instant. “Don’t come any closer.”

The man holds up his hands in surrender. “I won’t. You saved me. I won’t hurt you.”

Tony gazes at the man, studies him. He reaches out with his bare hand, cupping the man’s jaw, his cheek. He sees it in his eyes; he knows those eyes anywhere. “Blu?”

“Yes, Tony.”

The air catches in his throat. He places his gauntleted hand on his chest. “Really? Blu? You’re Blu? You’re my Blu?”

The man smiles shily and then looks down. When his gaze lifts, it’s through his long lashes. “Yes, your Blu.”

Tony launches himself at Blu. With those broad shoulders and strong arms, the man catches him, lifts him easily off his feet, and spins him around. If there was ever a time, Tony felt like a Disney Princess it is now. He nestles his head against Blu’s neck they stand in embrace. 

“How,” he murmurs. He glances up at Blu. It shocks him then that this isn’t Blu at all. “What – you’re not Blu-.”

“Yes, Tony, yes I am.”

“No, what’s your name? Your real name?”

The man before him swallows hard and steps away from Tony, turning away as if embarrassed, ashamed at his identity. “Can’t you just know me as Blu?  
“No. You’re someone. Who are you?” Tony asks. It sounds like the thunder of the ocean waves crashing against the shore dinning out all other noises.

The young man turns to face Tony, his broad shoulders slump. “It’s a long time ago, Tony. I’m not him anymore. I’ll never be him again.”

“Who?” Something in the back of Tony’s soul prickles and hurts. “Who?”

“My mother called me Steven. My friends called me Stevie. I was called by some as Rogers. But mostly I was known as Captain America.”

“Holy shit!” Tony scrambles away, tripping and going to the ground. “You went into the ocean, you went into the ice.”

“Not really.” He stays frozen, away from Tony. Walls are being built in that moment. 

If he needs to tear away the wall with his bare hands he will. “What does that mean; not really?” He picks up his shirt and shoves it into Blu- no Steve – as in Steve Rogers’ hands. “Put this one, at least.” When Steve tries to struggle into the shirt, Tony stops him. “Down below, unless you want your dick to get sunburnt.”

He wraps it around his waist as best he can. “When the Red Skull touched the tesseract, I saw the universe, all the dimensions. Even as I downed the plane, I could still see them. It was as if I was flying the plane through them, into them. It folded around me when the water hit. It felt like I was being torn inside out.” He grasps his arms around one another. “Next thing I remember is swimming. Swimming for ages, but not being myself. I was changed, different.”

“A lion?” Tony rubs at his overgrown beard. “I guess it could be true. It could happen. If the tesseract is a doorway to other dimensions through space you might have folded in with another reality, merged with what you are in another reality.” The vision of a Corvid flutters through his mind. “So, you’re really not Blu at all.”

Steve’s cheeks redden. “I am. I was here. Through it all. I’ve been a lion more time on this Earth than a man. I have all of his memories, experiences-.” He shuts down then, dropping down to sit as the overwhelming truths must hit him. His whole body trembles as if caught in the throws of a horrible dream. It must be like that for him, this reality he’s found himself in. 

Tony bites back his words. He wants to examine what’s happened, take it apart, put it back together again, find out how it all works. When he looks at Steve, he sees a man, not his Blu, but then when their eyes meet something flips down deep and Tony tears his gaze away. 

“Doesn’t matter right now. I have to pack up and get moving.” He goes to the water’s edge, careful of snakes. He washes the water over his face and in his hair but leaves it at that. No sense risking his life to have a bath. He finishes and heads back to the camp but notices that Steve’s sits staring at nothing but the middle distance. He trudges back and knocks him in the shoulder. The wall that formed between them is surprisingly thick and well formed in such a short time. They are strangers, really. “Come on. You want to get back to civilization, don’t you?”

Steve follows him with a quiet demeanor. He tries to assist Tony, but he fumbles a lot and starts to try and cover himself with his arms. When he cuts himself with one of the sharp edges of the armor plates, he bends over and starts to lick at the wound. Tony grabs his hand and stops him.

“You can’t do that.”

Steve jerks, realizes what he was doing and, ashamed, pulls his hand away from Tony. 

“Just sit over there. This would have been easier if you were a lion. I could’ve ridden.” He is not going to be able to collect all the pieces and easily cart them back. He’s going to have to leave something to mark the area and come back for it.

As he ponders his choices, Steve says, “I’ll stay. You don’t really want me to come with you. I can stay and watch over it.”

Tony grimaces. “No, you will not. I’m going to leave the locator from the HUD. I’ll have a crew come back and clean up everything.” He picks up what’s left of the innards of the helmet and one of his small pincer tools. Delicately, he fishes it out of its slot. “It’ll work for 24 hours. Then the battery will be depleted. I can have the ‘copter come back and get everything.” He places the small transponder in the hollow of the tree, stacks all the bulky pieces of the armor alongside it. The HUD, the faceplate (for sentimental reasons) and the gauntlet (for more practical reasons) come with him. “Let’s go.”

He’s not taking no for an answer. Steve follows, but with bare feet it’s nearly impossible; they double back and get the armor’s boots. Tony adjusts the size and has Steve step into them. He’s hesitant at first but Tony grumbles enough that he listens. With those equipped at least he can walk comfortably. The rest of the armor’s been picked for parts, worse than vultures on a carcass. 

They start off. 

His mind drifts back to what he witnessed and he’s not sure he’s entirely sane. A man turned into a lion by some cosmic trickery? He recalls the lion in the cave when he was abducted but now, he’s questioning everything. Perhaps there was no lion. There’s no one to ask, Yinsen is dead, the Ten Rings members who held him prisoner are all dead, Obie is dead. No one can confirm what he saw. He glances back at Steve whose wearing his shirt around his waist and the armor’s boots. He keeps his sights in the far distance and Tony catches him sniffing at the light breeze like an animal, a predator trying to assess the threats. 

Tony leaves him to his thoughts and his surveying the countryside. He wants to get home now; he wants to put this behind him, but then he has Steve Rogers, aka Captain America to deal. As a child, Captain America symbolized everything Tony longed for, especially from his father. Tony glimpses his companion. His shoulders are already turning red from the high sun. He supposes the legendary super soldier serum will deal with it.

“You know this dimension stuff doesn’t make sense. Dimensions aren’t realities. So, lion you couldn’t have come from another reality.”

“Lion me is me, was me,” Steve corrects.

“Doesn’t make sense.”

Steve doesn’t seem ruffled by it, and Tony can’t but imagine Blu shaking out his mane exasperated with him. “Maybe it’s some kind of magic.”

“I’m a man of science. Hocus pocus doesn’t work here.” He scans the horizon, according to his information they should be approaching the landing area. “Do you remember anything else?”

“Hmm.”

“What does that mean?”

Steve stays quiet and rolls his head as if he’s battling the urge to shake that non-existent mane. 

“We’re going to talk.”

“I don’t know why you can’t except who I am. That I’m your Blu and that I’m Steve Rogers.”

It’s Tony’s turn to fall silent. They journey the rest of the way to the meeting place without speaking. When they meet the helicopter, Rhodey and Happy are there along with the pilot, a doctor, and an animal caretaker. Tony only waves away the questions and climbs aboard. Steve remains in the grassy meadow. Peeking his head out, Tony instructs, “Come on, Adam, you need some clothes other than fig leaves. I’m sure we have something in here.”

Rhodey and Happy eye him but Steve gets into the helicopter, going to the back and sitting on the floor. Happy glares at him. “Nope, everyone’s gotta get in a seat and strap in. Safety first.”

Steve only curls into himself more until Tony leans back and says, “On the seat, big guy.”

He must get in because Happy is pleased and takes his seat. Rhodey keeps quiet, assessing him. He offers a nod of reassurance to his old friend. Rhodey doesn’t ask, but Tony knows it will come, the questions, the doubts, the worry. He’s sure the worry already creases Rhodey’s brow. Tony turns to the window of the helicopter, looking down at the refuge where he’d spent the last weeks. He had found companionship there, a soul’s companionship with a lion. A lion that does not exist anymore. All that is left is a legend of the past, and Tony knows legends aren’t enough. They never are.


	7. Chapter 7

The press and media fanfare peaks and ebbs as it did the first time Tony disappeared, only this time he tells them that he’d gone off the grid for some reconnaissance and to ensure world peace. The press and media gobble it up like a bunch of turkeys getting ready for Thanksgiving. Tony’s happy they don’t ask about the solitary figure dressed in an ill-fitted flight uniform hanging in the back of his entourage. 

The doctor insists on examining both Tony and Steve. A full bloodwork panel is performed on them as they sit in a SHIELD hospital in Manhattan. Tony wants to get back home to Malibu. He doesn’t want anything to do with the medical field day the doctors and nurses are prescribing. They take his blood and do a physical – other than that Tony won’t allow them further study. 

On the other hand, they salivate over Steve. He is a mystery to them and they’re over the moon to discover what secrets he conceals. Steve doesn’t speak or respond in any way. They share the same room for the first parts of the examinations, but then the doctors decide they need to admit Steve for further observation and study. Tony’s buttoning up his shirt sleeve cuff (luckily Happy always knows to bring extra clothes for Tony – ever since that one time he ended up on a nude beach with no idea where he clothes disappeared) when he hears it from Happy.

“Yeah, boss, they said he’s gotta stay. Something about his bloodwork being wonky.” Happy delivered fresh clothes for Tony to wear.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Is that a technical term?”

“It’s what they said.”

Tony’s not sure what to believe but he shrugs on his jacket and heads out the hospital room door. “Where is he now?”

Happy nearly bumps into Tony as he stops in the hallway of the busy hospital. “They gave him a private room. Said they were going to bring in a psychologist or something to evaluate him.”

“Okay, let’s make sure none of that happens,” Tony says. 

Rhodey appears from around the corner and halts when he sees him. “I know that look. You’re on the warpath. What’s going on?”

“They’re about to do a psych eval on Steve. That can’t happen,” Tony replies and follows Happy’s silent directions on where to go next. They end up waiting at the elevator. 

“Tony, you do know that if you’re not careful they will order one for you, too.”

“They can’t do anything of the sort. I’m a private citizen. I used my own resources to save- to get back to civilization. It’s the stupid doctor you ordered to tag along that got us in this mess.” Tony gets onto the lift with Happy and Rhodey in tow. “Steve is a private citizen as well. He shouldn’t be tortured by your doctors.”

“You’re sure he’s a private citizen?” Rhodey studies him as the elevator doors close. “The one thing they got out of him before he clammed up was that his name is Steve Rogers and he’s Captain America. You know, Captain America circa World War II.”

“Yeah. So?” He keeps his eyes staring straight at the doors.

“Yeah so? If it’s true than this is a damned miracle and Captain America is not a private citizen. He happens to be a member of the US Army, MIA for the last 70 years give or take a few. If he’s not Captain America, then he’s certifiable and if you side with him and take him out of here the government is going to go hot shit on your ass, Tony.”

The doors slide open. Tony shifts his gaze to Rhodey. “I know your intentions are in the right place. I get that Cupcake. But right now, you don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s coming home with me.”

Before he can escape, Rhodey catches his arm. “Then tell me what’s going on, Tony. Tell me.”

“If I did, you’d lock me up. I trust you, Rhodes, don’t make me lose that trust.” He struggles free and stalks his way to the nurses’ station, demanding to know where Steve Rogers is. The nurse gives him the information but adds that only family can see him.

“Well, that good, because I’m family.”

Surprised, she asks, “May I inquire how?”

“You may.” He smirks at her. As Rhodey and Happy stand off to the side, Tony leans over the high counter. “I don’t want it to get out just yet because it was a fast romance and all, but – you see -.” He throws a glance at Rhodey. “He’s my husband.”

“Oh.” She looks at Tony then at the men hovering over his shoulder. “Okay.” She draws out the last word. “If you say so.”

“I say so. Can I see him now?” 

She nods and gives him the room number. Like a flash Tony takes off toward Steve’s hospital room. Rhodey is fast on his heels trying to stop him, but Tony crashes into Steve’s room like a hurricane.

“Blu!” 

That perks up Steve. He jerks his attention to Tony from the large window next to his bed. There are machines hooked up to him as if he’s on death’s door and several doctors and nurses crowd around his bed. 

“Blu! I couldn’t believe they separated us. After all, we haven’t been separated for weeks. Not since we tied the knot.” He hopes that’s enough information for Steve to follow along with him, but in case, he adds, “Do you want to get out of here, Blu?”

Steve picks up his hand and smiles as if he’s a lion again, trying to communicate. He remembers himself and adds, “Yes. I’d love to. I mean. Go with you. My?”

“Husband, sweetie. I know you haven’t really come out of the closet yet, but you got married so you’re going to have to get used to it, right?” Tony pushes past the nurses that are standing there shocked and speechless. He grabs Steve in his arms and hugs him. Immediately, Steve nuzzles into his shoulder and sighs. Tony feels his entire body relax. If there’s one thing Tony’s sure of – he’s doing the right thing. Whatever or whoever Steve is – he doesn’t deserve to be a lab rat.

“Tony, I was – I didn’t know if you’d come back for me.”

Tony pulls back and sees genuine tears in Steve’s eyes. “Of course, I would, Blu. Always.”  
Steve smiles and a blush warms his pale coloring. Tony spins around and turns to the doctors. “Well, I’m checking him out.”

“Wait a minute,” Egg-shaped head doctor says. “You never said you were married.”

“I’m Tony Stark. I don’t want it to get out in the press until we’re ready. But now that I see your going to hold my husband prisoner, I have no other choice.” 

Rhodey huffs from a across the room.

“See! Even Colonel Rhodes agrees with me.”

Eggman says, “This is ridiculous. You can’t take him. He’s under the delusion that he’s Captain America.”

“Which is his cover, his fake name that all Service members have to have when they go under cover in case they need extraction. He’s given it to you because you won’t let him go.” Tony turns on his heel to Rhodey again. “Isn’t that right?”

Rhodey clears his throat. “Correct. We do need a moniker that we register with our unit for extraction.”

Tony adds, “This is Captain Steve Rogers. He’s a member of the Army and Colonel Rhodes is here to clear him to leave with his husband. Isn’t that right, Colonel Rhodes.”

Rhodey glowers, tightens his jaw, and then nods. “That’s correct.”

A nurse pipes in. “But his bloodwork, his immune panel-.”

Tony stops her as he starts to yank off all the wires. “The Pentagon will update SHIELD. They have top brass on it right now. In the meantime, I’m going to take my husband home. If you need me, please contact my personal assistant.” Steve gets out of bed, but he’s only in a hospital gown. “Can someone get him some clothes?”

Happy disappears.

“This is highly inappropriate,” Eggman says.

“Inappropriate how? I’m married to this man. Steve, do you want to stay here or come home?”

“Home,” Steve says and nods all the while trying to keep his gown from opening.

“Then that’s settled. You can’t keep someone here without their permission, especially since the Pentagon sent Colonel Rhodes to ensure my safety. That means I need my husband.” Tony waits and Eggman shuts up. He leaves the room with a trail of medical staff following him like ducklings. “Well, that went well.”

“No!” Rhodey stops himself in mid-yell. “No, it did not. What the hell are you pulling here Tony. Are you married to this guy or not? How am I going to explain this to the General? To the Joint Chiefs.”

Tony claps him on the shoulder. “You will. You always do. I trust you Rhodey. And yes, he’s my husband. Steve Rogers, meet Colonel James Rhodes. Rhodey meet Steve. I like to call him Blu.

“I used to know a James, but I called him Bucky-.” Steve says before Tony shuts him up by waving his hands.

“But that’s-.” Rhodey starts.

“A coincidence. Haven’t you ever heard from them?” Tony says and pats Steve on the arm, hoping he’ll keep quiet until they get on the jet to California. “Where’s Happy with your clothes.”

Happy reappears with clothes and they leave shortly. The nurse delivers discharge orders that essentially tell them to eat right and seek medical assistance if they have any signs of illness. Tony’s not sure what that would mean when he has a person turned lion turned person again to shepherd.

During their time driving to the airport, Steve in his t-shirt and jeans (what magical pocket universe Happy got them from, Tony might never know) spends his time staring out the window. His mouth hangs open and he only mutters lowly in his throat. Tony wraps his hand around Steve’s to satisfy Rhodey’s curiosity. Once they get to the airport and on the jet, Tony bids Rhodey goodbye.

“I know something’s going on, Tony, and I hope you know what you’re doing. If he’s confused or sick, he needs medical help. If he’s Steve Rogers – that Steve Rogers – he’s going to need a lot of help as well. While I think the former is more likely, I really hope it’s the latter, because seriously, I don’t want you hurt by someone who’s not predictable.”

“Why Rhodey, that’s positively unenlightened of you. Mentally ill patients are usually not violent at all.” Tony grasps Steve’s arm. “And my hubby here is far from mentally ill. Let’s just call Blu the kind of guy that’s the silent but strong type. Like a lion.”

Rhodey looks Steve up and down. “Like a lion. Yeah sure. Just – Be careful, please!”

“We will,” Tony says and escorts Steve to his private jet. 

On the plane, Tony leaves Steve to his own devices and goes to the back of his jet to relax and have a good stiff bourbon. He lets it burn his throat as he eyes his passenger. Steve glances around the cabin and walks toward a window. He bends over to peer out. He settles on the chair closest to the window with his legs curled under him. He places his head on the arm of the chair and closes his eyes. For such a big guy, Tony’s surprised he can ball up so tiny. It recalls to him the fact that Captain America would use his famous shield to protect himself in battle. Tony knows the shield. His father recovered it years ago from the Arctic Ocean. At least now Tony sees that wasn’t a myth, but a truth. 

“How many other truths,” Tony whispers and slugs back the bourbon. 

About an hour into the flight, Steve wakes but stays firmly in his seat. Tony is across the main cabin from his guest and even from there he can hear the growl of Steve’s stomach. He lifts his head and asks, “Hungry?”

“A little.” 

Tony goes to the galley kitchen, pulls out a few crackers and cheese, plus a bottle of water. He’s not a chef or even a cook, he’s not making that mistake. He finds some grapes and places them on the platter as well. Bringing them to Steve, he offers the platter to him. 

Steve takes it and, instead of putting it on the small table in front of him, places it on his lap. “Thank you. Grapes? Cheese? I haven’t had any of these in.” He stops, failing for words.

“Decades.”

“Yeah, that,” he says and plucks a grape from the branch. He places it on his tongue as if it’s a delicate egg. The moment he bites down his eyes flutter closed, and he moans a little. It’s a little perverse and a lot of a turn on. Tony grimaces.

“I take it, it’s good?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Steve says and opens his eyes. There’s a smile creeping on his face. “And thank you for what you did back there. I always hated hospitals. When I was a boy it was always because it meant I was sick. Now it means that I’m a specimen. Half of me wants to be a lion again, so they ignore me.”

Tony chuckles. “The serum worked when you were a lion, didn’t it?”

“Sort of,” Steve says and leaves it at that, not explaining. Before Tony asks for further details, Steve jumps to another subject. “I didn’t know. Men can marry?”

“Yes.” Tony reaches and steals a few grapes. “A few years back a case went up to the Supreme Court about religious institutes openly supporting political candidates. The religious side said that it was there freedom of speech and freedom of religion – their first amendment rights. Well, the Court say it differently. While they agreed that they had the right to express their first amendment rights, they also said that they were then liable for all the rights, privileges and responsibilities of any lobbying group. In other words, they would be taxed. That shut up the religious right and gay marriage, transgender rights, everything just fell into place. It’s amazing when you have a strong and impartial Supreme Court what you can do. How the world can change.”

“Amazing.” Steve bobs his head in agreement. He keeps silent on his views of gays so Tony deosn’t press it. The last few days must be hard enough. Tony’s not going to get into a debate about whether he agrees with him.

“So, I hope you’re not too pissed about my little fib.” That’s as far as Tony’s willing to go.

Steve shakes his head and looks out at the clouds. “No. I’m fine.” He pauses before he changes the subject and adds, “You must like to fly.”

Tony glances out the window. “All my life. Always loved to fly. Used to have dreams I was a bird. Now I’m Iron Man.”

Steve only smiles in reply.

Getting home, they are able to sneak into the airport and through all the media and press due mainly to Pepper. Though Pepper is the CEO of Stark Industries now, she still intervenes when he needs her the most. Somehow, they make it back to his Malibu mansion without one photograph being snapped. The news is rampant about how Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy is no longer a playboy but has finally settled down with a mysterious, handsome young man. Photos are missing to back up the news stories and Tony’s grateful to Pepper for that little fact. 

Once he walks through the doors of his mansion, Tony figured that the burden would lift, and he would feel a sense of calmness and serenity. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Instead, he has a Steve Rogers to deal with and a fake marriage to somehow get falsified so that he can ensure SHIELD or anyone else cannot whisk away said husband.

“Are you okay?” Tony asks. Steve hasn’t spoken much since their little impromptu luncheon on the jet. The shock of everything might be taking its toll.

“I’m good.” He stands in the center of Tony’s living room, his arms hanging useless at his sides. 

“Must be a shock.”

“Yeah, you could say that.”

“It’s been almost 70 years. I don’t know if anyone’s told you that or not,” Tony says.

“So you said and others,” Steve says. 

“Oh yeah,” Tony says. Words and ideas dry up.

“I had a date.”

Tony clears his throat as he leads the way into the kitchen. Steve follows like a puppy. “A date?”

“Yeah, it’s the last thing that happened. Before I went down. Before the tesseract changed me.”

“Yeah, about that.” Tony starts to make coffee. “Not the date.” He pulls down some mugs. “The tesseract. We need to talk about it. How it works.”

“Why? It’s at the bottom of the ocean,” Steve says.

Tony shakes his head. “No.” He turns to face Steve. “It’s not. My father found it. Along with your shield. It’s at SHIELD.”

“They should have left it in the ocean,” Steve mutters and drops down onto a stool at the kitchen island. He rubs at his temples and scratches at his head, messing his hair. 

“This is a lot, I know-.”

“Sir?” JARVIS says and Steve falls off his chair.

Tony goes to help him as he explains. “That’s my AI – artificial intelligence. Think of him as a robot but without a body, okay?” He helps Steve back onto the stool. With a touch he feels Steve tremble. “Yes JARVIS?”

“Ms. Potts would like to talk.”

“Of course, she does.” Tony sighs. “Tell her I’ll talk with her in the morning.”

“Yes sir.”

He places a mug of coffee in front of Steve. “I take it that it’s been a while since you had any coffee.” Tony has no idea what they fed Steve in the hospital. During the flight Steve spent most of his time sleeping. Tony suspects it was a defense mechanism. “Listen, JARVIS, the robot in the ceiling – well not really – but you can think of him that way will help you out. Think of him as a butler. He’ll show you were your room is and I’ll have him order some clothes for you. Don’t worry about it. Just-.” Tony stops. Here’s where he has no clue what to say or do with a person turned lion turned person again. “Just take it easy.” He picks up his mug of coffee and starts toward his workshop – it’s been ages. He needs to escape. He can grill Steve when it’s more appropriate and his own head isn’t pounding.

“Wh-.” Steve stops.

“Yeah?” Tony looks behind him as he’s about to leave.

Steve shakes his head. “Nothing.”

Lifting his mug, he says, “Enjoy.” He leaves and when he ends up in his workshop with the music blaring and his hands deeps into the chest of his next Iron Man armor upgrade the last few weeks slide away like skating over ice. Tony remains in his inventor’s fugue until JARVIS shuts down the music.

“Hey, I was listening to that.”

“That was the twelfth time, sir.”

“What’s it to you?” Tony tears out the wires. That idea wasn’t not working at all. “Has the extraction team brought back my armor parts?”

“They are on their way, sir.”

“So, if they aren’t here why did you decide to bother me?” He throws down the bundle of wires, pulls out the circuit board, frowns and then dives into the chest again.

After a few minutes, he hears an adamant, “Sir!”

He jumps up, slamming the back of his head on the armor plating. “Shit! What?”

“Did you hear me? I said your guest is what I can only describe as prowling in his room.”

He stops fidgeting with the interface to the reactor. He needs to proof it in order to avoid the next time he gets an electric shock. “Say again?”

“Your guest is prowling in his room.”

Tony’s not sure what to make of JARVIS pronouncement, but his AI is concerned enough about it to inform him. Placing the interface on the lab bench, Tony pulls off his gloves and safety goggles and heads up to the bedrooms. When he gets there the door to the guest bedroom is partially open and he spots the flicker of light as someone passes and then paces back again. He knocks.

The pacing stops.

“St-.” He thinks better of it and then says, “Blu?”

There’s a large sigh. “Tony?” He opens the door. He is in only his undershorts and looks aggrieved. “Where have you been? I’ve been-.” He stops and puts his hand to his mouth as if he should not share. 

“I’ve been in the workshop. I thought you were going to get some rest.” Tony notes that the blankets are strew on the floor as if he couldn’t find comfort in the soft mattress and chose the floor instead.

Steve chuckles but it dies down too quickly. “I slept – on the plane. Or jet, I think you called it jet. Yeah. Jet.” His eyes never land on Tony; they jump and leap about the room.

The edge of panic curls around Tony like whispers of darkness at the periphery of his sight. He knows what it feels like to be on the verge. He understands it more intimately than he wants to admit. Carefully, he reaches out and grasps Steve’s hand. “Hey now. I’m here. You don’t have to worry about protecting me anymore.”

“I know. You’re home. Safe. Safe?” Steve looks at him with his head tilted and Tony cannot help but see Blu. 

“Yeah. Everything is safe. You know what? Come with me, come on.” He folds his hand around Steve’s and leads him out of the room and down the hallway. He opens his master bedroom door. “I want to show you something, someone.”

Steve enters but stays near the door, to the side, ready to escape. 

“It’s okay to put down your guard here, Steve. JARVIS maintains security. Eyes and ears everywhere.”

Steve swipes a hand down the side of his face reminiscent of how Blu would paw at his jaw. “It’s hard. Old habits.”

“Here, let me show you someone.” Tony enters the large master bedroom with its sitting room, sleeping area. He opens the drawer in the nightstand and pulls out his old stuffed toy. “Here, I want you to see this.” He waves Steve gently into the room.

Steve joins him next to the bed and Tony places the precious toy in his hands. “It’s old and shows its age but according to legend the more you love something, like a stuffed toy, well it becomes real.”

Steve gazes at the toy lion. Its scratched blue eyes, its wobbly neck, its matted mane, all signs of a well-loved toy. With his index finger he pets his head. “This is yours?”

“Yes. My mother gave it to me. Years ago. I loved this little guy. I even brought him to college with me. I’m afraid he helped me nurse quite a few hangovers in his day.” Tony looks fondly at the cherished toy. “For years, all I had was Blu to confess everything to.”

“Blu?”

“Yeah, there was a legend of a blue-eyed lion that climbed out of the sea and roamed Europe looking for his home,” Tony whispers, knowing full well it isn’t a legend at all. “Lots of kids loved the story, bought the book, the TV movie. The Disney adaptation. The whole thing. But this – this little guy was mine. My Blu.”

“And you kept it all these years?” Steve replies, his voice hushed with reverence.

“Yes. Blu means the world to me. Helped me feel safe.” He touches Steve’s shoulder. “But now I think someone else needs him. I want you to have him.”

Steve’s head pops up and he stares wide-eyed at him. “Oh no. Tony, he’s yours.”

“Now, he’s yours.” It hurts to give Blu up, but his soul – deep inside – echoes with the rightness of it.

“But you’ve already done so much for me. Gotten me out of that hospital, saved me from spending the rest of my life as a lion-.”

“I didn’t do anything of the sort, Steve, and you know it.” Tony taps the little toy on its head. “He’s yours.”

“Thank you.” He brings it toward his chest, cradling the toy against him like a babe. “And I do know it, Tony. That wasn’t the first time I died as a lion.”

The ground shifts and Tony swears there is an earthquake as he stumbles backward almost falling onto the bed. His whole body rings with the onslaught of the revelation. “You- wait, what?”

“Died. A few times. I kept coming back as a lion. It was really confusing and painful. But you saved me. You were there, you got me back. I’ll forever be grateful, Tony.” Steve speaks lowly as if he might tempt fate.

With a hand to his chest, Tony pushes Steve onto the bed. He sits. Tony settles next to him. “We need to talk. You need to tell me your story and I need to figure this out.”

Steve drops his gaze to the toy in his arms. “I don’t think there’s going to be a logical explanation anyway Tony.” 

“Well.” Tony folds his hands and attempts to calm the shaking in his voice. “Why don’t you start from the beginning.”

Steve shrugs and says, “I think you know most of it. The tesseract caused me to come back as a lion.”

“And the Red Skull? He was there, too? What’d he come back as? That snake? Was he that snake that bit you?” 

“No.” He looks up into the coming dusk of night. “There was a coldness to it. Like the deepness of space in your bones. The darkness wrapped around the Red Skull and whisked him away as he howled. I got to the pilot seat and forced the plane down. But it was too late the tendrils of the tesseract had me. Even though it had fallen into the ocean, I felt the chill, the coldness seep into me. It was not like a cube at all, but it had facets upon facets that captured me. Folded me in.” He sighs. “I don’t know how to explain it.”

“But dimensions aren’t other realities.”

“But you don’t see the same thing in each dimension,” Steve returns. “Doors open and close. The facets held places and times. You see different things.”

Tony scratches at his messy beard; he needs to trim it. “That’s right. A person from flat land wouldn’t be able to perceive a 3 dimension person. Only what exists in 2 dimensions.”

“What if the other dimensions represent something else entirely?” Steve asks. 

It’s odd and not very scientific but since he has no argument against it, and the universe is weird, it could happen. “But then why would you keep coming back as a lion. And why didn’t you just stay dead?”

The questions batter him and Tony watches as his shoulders slump and exhaustion overcomes Steve. “I just don’t know. All I know is that there was something beyond my understanding to the tesseract. It controlled space but it also seemed linked to other elements of the universe. Like a door way through to other places, other possibilities. I really can’t tell.” A heavy breath escapes him, and he pushes back onto the bed. “I died. I came back time and again as a lion. I thought I was cursed.”

“If anyone would have been cursed, Steve, it would have been the Red Skull.” Tony sidles over to join him with the cushions surrounding them. 

“I know you want it to make sense, but I know that there were forces beyond comprehension at play. The tesseract must be tied to some other forces, forces that change reality, that shift time and space. I don’t know. I can’t tell-.” 

Tony stops him by grasping his hand. “Steve, you don’t need to know. We might never know.”

“How do I know it won’t happen again?” Steve shivers under his touch. “How do I know I won’t lose this, this being and become a lion again. Or something much worse.”

It takes a while to think of something, anything to calm Steve, but he does. “You said this time was different.”

“It was. You were there, you anchored me, you drew me out – to be myself,” he murmurs. It’s getting darker in the room and Tony never commanded JARVIS to turn on the lights. Tony can barely see Steve as he speaks. “It was like a thousand years a drift in a sea of stars, except I kept trying to hold onto life, yet I never could. I was able to act and move and be Bl-Blu as you call my avatar, but I always felt as if I was only an observer in a body not my own.” He laughs but it’s sound that originates from self-mocking rather than joy. “Strange, you know, I’m not really even used to this body. Been a lion most of my life.” His words fade out into a solitary sound, tuned to a silent kind of weeping. 

With a tender hand, Tony reaches over and clasps Steve’s hand. “You’re not alone.”

“She said that to me once,” Steve whispers and this time Tony knows he’s crying. “I acted like I was, like I had nothing else to lose. Maybe that’s why I was condemned.”

“No one was condemned, Steve, especially not you.” His words drift away – lost in the ripples of night surrounding them. “The tesseract might be a passage, a doorway to some other spaces, and it might be linked to some-.”

“Magic,” Steve supplies when Tony hesitates.

“There’s no such thing as magic, just science we don’t understand,” he says in rote. “Something, some elemental force held you, changed you, and now you’re back.”

“But am I back for good?” Steve looks at him this time, his eyes a glitter. The low light streaming from the window highlights the tears. 

Tony squeezes his hand. “You are if I have something to do with it.”

The silence weighs on them, then. There are no other words to say because it’s true. Whatever happened to Steve is a science Tony doesn’t understand. He can’t even figure out where to begin to try and discern how it happened or why. Tony puzzles over it, listening until Steve falls asleep, thinking he would leave, but by that time, the heaviness of inertia settles over him and he stays until he too slumbers.

Waking, arms encompass him, and his face is planted against a strong chest; he’s listening to a steady heartbeat. He snuggles close, thinking for a moment of Blu but that fades, and he realizes he’s in Steve’s arms. Tony gently moves away, lifting Steve’s arm to free himself, but he manages to wake him.

“Hmm?”

“Morning,” Tony says and sits on the side of the bed. Well, at least he doesn’t have to lie about sleeping with his new husband. He laughs inwardly. “I’m going to shower and dress. I think JARVIS has some clothes for you in the guest bedroom.” He gets up and heads to the ensuite, not looking back, hoping that Steve understand the unspoken request to leave. 

After his shower and shave, Tony peeks out of the bathroom and notes he’s alone. Steve even took his stuffed toy lion. His heart does a fancy loop on that one, but he did give it to him. Tony dresses in jeans and a black t-shirt, leaving his feet bare. He needs coffee and something sugary. Probably should eat veggies since his diet has centered around meats and fish for the last few weeks. Well, fruit will be good enough. “JARVIS, make sure I have fruit and blueberry pancakes for breakfast.”

“I will inform the chef. Do you want me to tell Captain Rogers that he’s welcome at breakfast or have him served in his room?”

It would be nice to get away from the reality of what’s crashing down on him in the next few hours (probably) but he needs to be prepared. “Sure, invite him to the breakfast nook.”

“Nook, sir?”

“Didn’t they have them in the 40s?”

“I don’t think so, sir. I think the breakfast nook was popular in the 60s.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Okay then, just tell him to meet me in the kitchen.”

“Yes sir.”

Time to face the music. Thinking of facing Steve in the light of day roils his stomach and he bites down on his inner cheek. He stops in the doorway. Last night, their talk in the dark had been enlightening. It revealed a want Tony couldn’t parse, but the ache remained when he woke. It urged him to slip out of bed, to rid himself of confronting Steve so early in the morning. Now his shave and shower are done. He needs to get back to his routine, he needs to ignore the pain threatening and shove it aside. He also needs to decide what the hell to do with Steve. It was only his intention to get Steve free of SHIELD. The husband ploy worked to accomplish his purpose but it’s not going to stop Defense Department representatives and SHIELD spies knocking on his door. It’s the only reason he used the charade of marriage – that’s all. Blu- Steve helped him during his time of need, Tony reciprocated. 

By the time he enters the kitchen the chef – an older woman with a look of a Pekingese dog that Tony never remembers exactly her name– has served an amply pile of blueberry waffles (not pancakes), alongside a bowl of fresh fruit, and a carafe of coffee. Next to his plate there is an empty plate waiting for an order. Tony asks, Mrs. Merry (well that’s what he’s going with right now and she doesn’t correct him) to load his husband’s plate up with eggs, bacon, and some waffles. Merry nods and toddles off to prepare the meal.

Tony digs into the food, finding that he particularly savors the fruit. The sweetness hits his tongue and he swoons almost forgetting the phone in his hand. 

“Must be good.”

He jerks and opens his eyes. “Pepper! I didn’t hear you come in.” She usually wears heels and that clickety clack gives her away every time. But today she is in tennis shoes and is actually wearing an outfit that matches. “Tennis?”

“I needed something to take the edge off. Slamming a ball around a court at someone, helps,” she replies, and she hugs him. “It’s good you’re home, Tony.” Her chin rests on his shoulder. “I was so worried when we couldn’t contact you and no one could trace you, not even JARVIS.”

“Well, JARVIS must have had some information.” He stabs a strawberry.

“Last known location but it only had partial coordinates.” She waves him away as he offers a strawberry on his fork. “Allergic, Tony, allergic.”

“Oh, sorry. Forgot. Don’t know why JARVIS only had partial information,” Tony says and frowns. They had been looking in the wrong area, apparently, thus the reason no rescue mission found them until Tony had been able to fix the communications link in the HUD. “Well anyhow, it’s good to be home.” He owes her an explanation and he starts to formulate one but she holds up her finger to stop him.

“No. Tony, I don’t want to know. I just want you to promise you will stop this nonsense of disappearing for weeks, months at a time. The stockholders don’t like it.”

“The first time really wasn’t my fault.” He raises an eyebrow. “I hope it’s not only the stockholders who have a problem with it. Do you not like it?”

She smirks. “Like I said, I don’t like looking for a job.”

“Well, as CEO I don’t see how that’s even an issue anymore. It’s not temporary Pepper, I told you that. I need someone to pay attention to the administration and logistics. I’m a scientist and idea man. You know that.” Tony bops her on the nose. She bats him away. 

She points to the extra plate. “I’m assuming that’s not for me. Where is he?”

At that moment, Steve clears his throat to announce his presence. They turn to find him standing in the hallway. His hair is still damp from his shower and he’s freshly shaven. The blue t-shirt stretches dangerously over his muscular chest and the jeans hang precariously on his narrow hips. “Good morning.”

Tony presses his mouth tight, not knowing how to handle the situation, but at the same time he’s played the game in front of the paparazzi so many times but Pepper is always a different story. He walks over to Steve and wraps his arm around his shoulders. “Pepper, my husband Steve. Steve, this is Pepper Potts. Former Personal Assistant, but now CEO of Stark Industries. She’s that good.” Throwing out some compliments might buy him some good will. 

Pepper smiles and offers her hand. Steve takes it, there is an uncomfortable moment where he freezes as if he doesn’t remember what to do, but then he bends and kisses her hand. “It’s my pleasure, ma’am.”

“Oh, Tony. I know why you married him.” She blushes – full on blush that pinks her cheeks and reddens her neck. “It’s nice to meet you as well, Steve.” Steve stands to the side, obviously giving his seat to Pepper. “Oh no. You sit next to your husband, Steve. I’m just here because Tony’s going to have to make some announcements and clear some issues up with the Board of Directors.”

“Can’t this wait?” A headache already looms.

“Not if you don’t want the stock to go into freefall. By the way, the NRA and the Conservatives for American Liberties have condemned you and have petitioned the government not to buy any more weapons from Stark Industries.”

Tony laughs. “Well it’s a good thing I don’t sell weapons. But just in case, let’s make sure to get under their skin a little more. Tell them Stark Industries plans to sponsor Pride month and donate to a bunch of different organizations.”

She smiles and takes out her phone to jot down the notes. “Already done. Now, I’ll have JARVIS update you on when to be ready for the press conference this afternoon. Don’t be late! After that we have a Board meeting at 6 pm.”

“Well, there goes the honeymoon, darling,” Tony says and winks at Steve – who is sitting frozen, staring at his huge breakfast.

“Sorry. I’m off now,” Pepper says and leaves before he can stop her. 

He shrugs it off and then taps the countertop. “You are allowed to eat.” It looks like his guest is partially comatose or playing with idea of going catatonic. “Steve.” Tony tilts his head to get a glimpse of Steve. “What’s going on?”

Steve shakes his head, but even that seems to throw him. He scratches at his face and then rubs his eyes, leaving his knuckles pressed into his eyes. “I don’t know. Nothing feels right. The clothes scratch, the food smells burnt, even the way I shake my head is wrong.”

Tony grabs his hands and brings them away from his face. “Hey now. This isn’t going to be easy. Like you said, you were a lion for most of your life.”

“But what am I now?”

The tension running through Steve’s body flexes his hands as Tony grips them. “You know what you need? A good sparring match. How about it? You and I. We could spar a little, you could get used to the body?”

“Spar?”

“Yeah, eat up because we’re going to my private gym.”

At first, Steve reaches to pick up the bacon with his hand and then remembers himself. He grasps the fork, playing with it, then balancing it, until he finally grips it like a toddler. 

“Wait.” Tony takes pity on him. “Here, you hold it like this.” He shows Steve how to manage the fork. “Okay?”

Steve nods and then stabs a waffle. He tries to pick up the whole thing, but it flips around and falls off his fork. He growls at it. “Why is this so hard?”

Tony bites back his laughter. “Here you want some syrup on the waffles.” He coats the stack with a river of syrup. “You’ll like it. Nice and sweet.” 

“Not if I can’t get it into my mouth!” Steve retorts and attempts to pick it up with his hands again.

“Ah! Nope. Do that and your hand will get all sticky.” Tony takes the fork from Steve and, with a knife, slices the waffles into cubes using the girdle pattern as lines. He impales a stack of cubes and then flies the waffles through the air, making zooming noises. “Open sesame!” 

Steve doesn’t get it until the last minute but opens wide and Tony lands the fork right on his tongue, the syrupy waffles smack in the middle. Steve closes his mouth and then as Tony slides the fork away, puts his hand to his mouth. A look of shocked surprise dawns on his face.

“Wow!” he says with a full mouth.

“Yeah, I know. Don’t talk with your mouth full. Eat up.” 

Steve digs in, though gagging a little on the meat and pushing it away. The cook keeps Steve handily in stacks of waffles for the next hour. After the Merry finishes cooking the breakfast and cleaning the waffle maker, Tony thanks her and dismisses her. 

“You know when I was a kid we had a waffle maker in the shape of a Captain America shield. It was pretty neat.” Tony smiles as he leans his cheek against his hand, watching Steve. “Hmm, I don’t think you’re going to be able to spar. Where did you put all of that?” Tony asks. Steve’s figure is the epitome of human perfection. 

Mortified, Steve ducks his head. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to- I mean-.”

“No. Stop. You haven’t eaten in hours, probably not since the flight. If you need more food- God, you do need food if I remember my father’s notes correctly. I can get you more. I remember from my father’s writings that you need like 4x what other people need. How did you handle this as a lion?” He hustles over to the refrigerator to see if he can find more of the deliciously fresh fruit.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” Tony opens up a container, can’t tell what it is, and then puts it back. “Do you like tuna? I know how to make a tuna sandwich.”

“Tony. I don’t need anything more to eat. And please, don’t mention the lion and eating-.” He gags and rushes over to the sink, vomiting up his breakfast.

“Fuck a duck, what the hell?” He clasps his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” 

His eyes tear but Steve nods. Tony hands him a paper towel and then retrieves the water pitcher from the refrigerator. He pours a glass of water and slides it over to Steve, who sniffles in response and then downs the entire glass.

“You wanna tell me what that was all about?”

Steve wipes his eyes and blinks a few times before he answers, “I just- I can’t think of eating like that-.” He retches again but thankfully gets it under control quickly. “All those years.”

“Killing and eating as a lion. Kind of freaked you out, huh?”

“Yeah.” Steve gives a small laugh. “Actually, one of the ways I died was starving myself. I couldn’t stand it, so I stopped eating. When I came back in perfect health, I figured it was some occurrence due to the serum. It was only later that I figured out it was my experience with the forces behind the tesseract.”

“So sparring right now is out.” Tony crosses his arms and studies his companion. “How about a bath? I bet you would enjoy a spa bath and a massage.”

Steve rubs at his arms like he’s chilled. “I’m not sure I understand all of those words.” 

Tony inwardly admits it would be anyone’s fantasy to get their hands on that back, that chest, that ass, but he swallows down the eagerness. “Well, these are words you need to learn. Come.” He slings an arm over Steve’s shoulder and steers him toward the lower level. 

“Don’t you have to prepare for the press conference?” 

With a smirk, Tony replies, “I am prepping, my dear, I am.”

Before Steve can protest, Tony has him in the jacuzzi bath with bubbles frothing above the rim of the tub. Luckily for him, Steve wasn’t abashed about disrobing in front of Tony. He simply took off his clothes and hopped in when Tony told him the water was ready. He doesn’t know if the lack of modesty is due to his years as a member of the military and essentially bunking out with a bunch of guys for weeks on end or if it’s a result of living the life of a wild animal where clothes are a foreign concept.

“I feel a little silly,” Steve mutters as he moves around in the bubble filled bath. The jetted tub, a massage room, and a steam room were designed by Tony during the original construction of the Malibu mansion. He rarely used them anymore and had since let go his personal masseuse. 

Leaning against the doorjamb, Tony grins. “Well, you’re going to feel a whole lot sillier.” He flips a switch on the wall and the jets in the bath come alive. Steve yelps in surprise. Mountains of bubbles grow up around him until only his head is visible. Tony chuckles and turns off the jets. 

“Don’t do that, turn them back on!” 

Tony claps at Steve enthusiasm and follows his wish. As Steve splashes around in the peaks of bubbles, Tony cannot help but think of Blu playing in the water with him. They would often go down to the stream during the height of the day when the heat slowed them down. There in the small stream they found relief and lost themselves, splashing and soaking one another fully. Surely, Blu hated to go into the water most of the time, but on those days, he enjoyed himself. His attention draws to Steve, in the bath totally free of expectations. He’s more restricted in his attitude and actions than Blu, but here in the tub he finds the joy in life. When he spots Tony watching him, he smiles, and Tony’s done for. That smile, those eyes melt into Tony thoroughly.

He clears his throat. “There’s a towel on the rack. Switch next to the tub there to turn it off.” He pulls out his phone and shakes it. “I gotta go.” He has no idea if Steve will understand his ruse, that he needs to go to take a call – which is false – but he doesn’t care. He can’t think of Steve that way. Sure, it’s okay to appreciate the man’s perfection, but to dissolve into him, to long for it. No. There is no way. 

There is no way he’s going to fall in love with a lion. Not that kind of love.

His words uttered only days ago ricochet in his head like bullets. 

_Tony had touched his forehead against Blu’s and whispered, “I love you, always.”_

It was different, Tony tells himself.

He had cried as Blu lay dying in his arms and his mind ached with thoughts of complete loss. He could not fathom leaving Blu behind, he could not fathom the idea of Blu dying. Blu had taken care of him, had fed him, watched over him in the night, and led him to safety. Blu understood him when nightmares racked his sleep and he needed to nest further into the big animal’s fur. 

Getting down to the workshop, Tony presses himself up against the wall in the hallway. His eyes prickle with tears, but not from the memory of death – from the realization that he longs for Blu, he wants Blu. Blu is more than a lion to him; Blu is his soul companion. It terrifies him. He’s fucked up. He’s in love with an animal. He chokes on bile and races to his workshop locking the door. 

“JARVIS, Steve is not allowed in the workshop. EVER.”

“Understood.”

He stumbles to his couch and flails a little as he sits down. His mind scrambles in his head to make sense of it. This morning he managed, he did. Nothing was amiss. Other than the fact he woke up in a stranger’s arms, but if he was truthful with himself that is more common than he likes to admit. Everything was fine, he handled everything well. Shit, he even assisted Steve when he got sick. Though that’s something Tony’s pretty familiar with himself. He watched as Steve disrobed and stepped into the bath.

“Gah!” He covers his face with his hands. “What the fuck!”

“Sir? Is there something I might help you with?” 

Tony drops his hands in defeat. “No. Not this time, JARVIS. I’m afraid my head’s just not right.” The idea of loving, wanting at one time seemed so foreign and hostile to him. All he ever saw had been his parents’ marriage, a charade put on for the media. Closed doors told a different story. One that caused him to cuddle up with his little toy lion and huddle under the blankets waiting for the screaming to stop. 

Now, he loves. He loves something unattainable. He shouldn’t even admit to loving a lion, a beast. He really is screwed up in the head. A sob shudders through him.

“Are you sure, sir? I may be able to help.”

Tony tries to wipe away the tears but the pour down his cheeks. “It doesn’t matter, JARVIS. Nothing you can do can make any of it better.”

“Perhaps you could call Ms. Potts or Colonel Rhodes. They’ve been of great comfort to you in the past.”

“No. They wouldn’t understand, either.” He scoffs. “Who would?” He stands up and flings his hands outward. “You know what, JARVIS, you want to know what’s up? Okay! I’ll tell you. I’m sick in the head. I’m in love with a fucking delusion.”

“I’m not sure I follow, sir.”

“Let me tell you the story of how Steve and I met.” He tells it all, in excruciating detail. From the moments he woke up in a cold cave in Afghanistan to the last moments embracing a dying Blu in his arms to the ocean of stars and the tesseract effect that Steve claims to be responsible for the transformation. By the time he finishes, his breath is spent and his sanity hangs by a thread. 

“So, you say that Captain Steve Rogers through some effect of the tesseract had been transformed into a lion and survived the years-.”

“Apparently with some deaths mixed in,” Tony points out.

“Yes. And now he’s been changed back to a human and he claims it is because of you.”

“Yes. That’s the story.”

“This tesseract. You said it was in your father’s notes.”

Tony falls down onto the couch again. During the story, he had paced the entire workshop. “Yes. He said it had tremendous power. Made some weird ass weapons for the Nazis and Red Skull. Could disintegrate people.”

“And Captain Rogers encountered it when he was in battle with the Red Skull?”

“Yes. The Red Skull picked up the cube. Caused the strange cosmos effect to appear.”

“Which is something similar to what you experienced when Blu the lion transformed into Captain Rogers.”

Tony nods. JARVIS knows all of this; he never needs anyone to repeat anything. The AI is a master of analytic thought. “What are you getting at J man?”

“This tesseract, this cosmic cube, held the essence of space.”

Tony stops picking at the threads of the couch. “Yes. If the cube contains space – JARVIS are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“That it only seems logical that other key elements of the universe may be manifested physically.”

“Bingo!” He jumps to his feet. “What if these could be interconnected then, somehow?”  
He spins on his heels. “I mean that alternate realities and different dimensions could exist, intermingle, and warp through that connection. The tesseract is a doorway. Red Skull harnessed it’s energy as a power source for weapons, but what if – what if exposure causes doorways to open, not only through space but through dimensions?”

“I would assume so. I haven’t done the math.”

“Neither have I,” Tony says. But he doesn’t need to do the math – at least not right away. He has the proof in the Jacuzzi tub. He looks at his phone. Well, probably not in the tub anymore. It’s been hours. “JARVIS, where is Steve?”

“In the kitchen. I am currently instructing him on how to use the microwave.”

Off to the kitchen. Tony races up the stairs and slides into the kitchen only to find Steve with his face nearly pressed up against the microwave watching the popcorn bag expand. “Whoa there nelly, get your face away from that. You’ll go blind.”

“What? Really?” Steve leaps away from the appliance like it’s a monster and blinks his eyes several times.

“No, probably not. But you shouldn’t be that close. Who knows if it will explode or something,” Tony says and shrugs off his dire warnings. “I want to talk to you.”

“Sir,” JARVIS interrupts. “Ms. Potts reminds you that your press conference is in 1 hour. She expects you to be on time and presentable.” 

“Crap,” Tony mutters and sighs. “I guess my big revelation will have to wait. I gotta go to this.”

Steve hesitates as the microwave dings. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“I don’t – Do you want to come?” Tony frowns. He cannot imagine bringing someone into the full din of a press conference after they have spent most of their life as a wild animal will go well. Yet Blu presented a calming influence throughout the time they spent together. Perhaps, Steve would be the same?

“I’m supposed to be your husband.” Steve looks expectant, even hopeful.

“Yeah, that’s right. Right.” Tony drops his shoulders. There is nothing to be done for it. He should get it over with now. “Okay. JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Get Steve into the right clothes. And I need rings.”

“I already purchased rings, sir. They will be delivered shortly.”

“God, JARVIS I should have married you.” Tony smiles.

“And that would have been the epitome of narcissistic behavior, sir.”

Tony snickers and slaps Steve on the back. He points to the microwave. “We’ll bring the popcorn. Get dressed and I’ll meet you in the living room in 15 minutes.” He doesn’t give Steve long to get ready because the thought of him changing his mind tightens Tony’s chest, and causes his palms to get sweaty. Unfortunately, that also means Tony’s left with only a short time to get beautiful. 

He decides more business casual without a tie is the way to go. It is the middle of summer. He picks an off white suit with a salmon colored shirt. Slipping his sunglasses into his breast pocket, Tony slips on his shoes and heads to the living room. Steve’s already there, in dark blue slacks and a slightly too tight collared blue shirt. The shirt is lighter in hue than the pants. He looks divine and nothing like Blu – but the fact JARVIS dressed him in blue doesn’t escape Tony’s notice. 

“Nice,” he says.

“Thanks, JARVIS wanted told me it would be better than the black suit I wanted to wear said this would present the right character.” He slides his hands down his pants, nervous. A public appearance in the spotlight worries him.

Tony presses a hand to his upper arm. “I think I understand. Now, you were part of a tour, Captain America tour, right?”

Steve agrees. “Yeah. Long time ago. Scared me to death at the beginning.”

“What did you do to get over the jitters then?” Tony rubs his bicep – so well formed.

“Mainly wrote my script on the back of the prop shield.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I’ll be there for you.” 

Maybe it’s a little bit of Blu coming to the surface, but Tony sees how important it is for Steve to be present for him. It’s part of his duty, a sentinel, a guard. It’s part of why Tony always felt safe with Blu, ever since the terrorists tried to use Blu to frighten Tony. It hadn’t worked. Blu – Steve saved him. 

“It’s okay. Just let me do the talking.” The doorbell rings and it’s a delivery man with a FEDEX box. Tony signs for it. “This should be our rings.”

“You’re sure this is legal?” Steve asks. 

“What? Gay marriage?” Tony frowns. “Yep. I told you about the legal case. It opened the door wide open for gay marriage.”

“Gay? Hmm, homosexual marriage? That means it is legal to be homosexual.” Steve states as Tony grasps his hand and slips the ring on his finger without any fanfare. It is a simple platinum band. He cannot help but think when it’s real it will be better. He shuts down those ideas immediately.

“Do you have a problem with gays?” Tony asks, still holding Steve’s hand.

Visibly Steve swallows and then drops his gaze to his hand. He silently shakes his head. Through his lashes he looks at Tony. “I thought the serum would cure me. They said it was a mental disease. That someone like me was deranged.” 

“Shit, Steve. You’re not deranged. To love someone is never to be deranged.”

“I didn’t say anything when you announced I was your husband. I mean I was a lion just days ago, I couldn’t figure it out-.” He glances away from Tony, gazing at the vast Pacific Ocean beyond the living room and balcony. It’s rolling waves soothe. “It was more than I could have hoped.”

He murmurs the words, and Tony isn’t sure he heard correctly. He squeezes Steve’s hand. “It’s kind of hard to wrap your head around it. I know. But you’re a person. No one is going to judge you on your love life. Well, some people are, but they don’t count.”

Steve nods and then gratefully touches the ring. “So it’s official now?” His expression is so hopeful it takes Tony’s breath away.

He hates to do it. “I mean, no. Steve, this is all fake. Right? You know that, right?”

Steve slips his hand away from him. He looks away to the window to the ocean endlessly moves and sways in time with Earth’s mate, the moon. Smiling, small and sad, Steve whispers, “Of course. I meant, the marriage – the gay marriage in general – is real – is official.”

“Yes, Of course it is.” He feels relief that he shouldn’t since he knows just by Steve’s demeanor that he’s lying to protect Tony’s feelings. 

Steve’s gaze snaps back to his and he nods. 

Tony puts his hand to the small of Steve’s back and navigates out of the house toward his bright orange Audi. “Let’s go.”

The press conference goes as Tony expects, held in the lobby of Stark Industries. The crowd of reporters rivals the one he had when he announced his identity as Iron Man. People are clamoring to ask Steve questions, but Tony keeps him at his side and the little he speaks is enough to have the entire audience swoon. 

When Steve takes the microphone finally relenting to answering a question. “Lucky? Tony, lucky? Ma’am, if anyone’s lucky it’s me.”

“You’re a Captain in the US Army. He’s a playboy and a scoundrel. I’d think you’d be a little less impressed.” The woman stands there, smugly smiling at Steve like she’s caught him in her net.

Steve practically glares the reporter back into her chair. “Ma’am, that’s my husband you’re talking about. I’d appreciate it if you remembered your manners.” The crowd gawks and then the reporter withers back into her chair.

The media talk about it for days and Pepper is elated about the positive press. The Board of Director’s meeting that followed had been a buzz with the news and remained upbeat about the direction of the company even with Tony’s recent absence. They saw the marriage as sign of Tony’s new stability.

Pepper percolates with happiness as she reports the different headlines to him. It’s a rare day that he’s visiting his office at Stark Industries. Over the course of the last week, the different tabloids and entertainment sites praised the new power couple. Darker theories popped up – the US government planted Captain Rogers to draw Tony under their wing. Happier news continued to counter those stories with theories ranging from stories based on An Officer and a Gentleman with manipulated images for Tony in Steve’s arms to stories of a lonely soldier who met Tony when he escaped from Afghanistan. The latter one came precariously closes to the truth. 

“It’s all good, Tony.” Pepper smiles. “The Board is flying high because the stock is soaring. Your recent advance in digitalized interface compliance for medical imaging is showing real promise.”

“And the Board didn’t shit a brick over you becoming CEO,” Tony finishes. He eases back in the chair opposite her desk. 

Pepper studies him and then leans forward on the desk, her arms folded. “Tell me this isn’t about that thing in your chest. You’re not dying are you?”

He taps on the arc reactor. “This? Nope. Well, I was dying or could have died because palladium – not the best core in the world since it is super toxic. But I already fixed that. I wasn’t about to just – you know - let it kill me.”

“Making me the boss, getting married – what’s this all about Tony?” Concern etches her features.

“You don’t have to worry, Pepper. This is the first time in a long time, I think I know what I’m doing.” He plays with the pen on her desk. 

“And it has to do with Steve?”

“Maybe.” He looks up from the pen. “Maybe. We’ll see.” 

Steve had become something of an enigma to Tony. He sponged up as much knowledge about the modern worlds as he could, learning computers and phones quickly and efficiently. Tony wondered at his sharp mind and wit. He never let anything pass by him; part of Steve was always alert and ready to pounce much like Blu had been. 

When Tony brought a brand new Starkphone for Steve home one night the response had been worth it. Steve’s grin broadened as he opened the package that Tony had hastily put together. The gift bag dropped to the floor as Steve’s eyes widened.

“You didn’t have to do this, Tony.” Steve said with his hands shaking as he opened the box.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like I have to pay for it. Besides you need a phone to keep you up to date with your studies.” They had started to call Steve’s time learning everything about modern life as his ‘studies’. 

“Still Tony, this is so thoughtful!” Steve grabbed Tony in his arms and hugs him, but then remembered himself and quickly stepped away. “I’m so- Thank you. Really, thank you.”

While Tony still hadn’t allowed Steve into the sanctum of his workshop, they ended up spending a lot of time together – especially in the living room area with a lap top between them and Tony explaining bits and pieces of life. In many ways they both cut out the puzzles pieces and linked them together. Steve was a ravenous student, always looking for more, hunting like a predator for things that didn’t fit, for gaps in his knowledge. When he figured it out, the glorious smile he gave Tony always had him running – slipping away to his workshop to get away from Steve – and his ever growing feelings. 

“Trouble in paradise. Please don’t say this is a flash in the pan marriage Tony. That won’t be good for you. Steve seems like a nice guy. Is he not nice? Is he a jerk?” 

He jerks back to the present as Pepper expresses her concerns. Tony smiles: the thoughts of Steve are soft and sweet, if not a little too painful to dwell upon. “No. He’s not a jerk. He’s everything anyone could ask for, but-.”

“I hate there’s a but.”

“But he’s.” Tony stands up and walks to the window, hands in his pockets. It’s night out. Pepper shouldn’t be working this late. He sees the surrounding areas of the complex, the wide open spaces of the parking lot, the twinkling lamps, the rolling hills leading to the city. Beyond the hills, the amber glow of the city fills the sky and blots out the stars. “He’s a mystery. Like the stars or the ocean. I don’t know if I can ever know him.”

“Well, it was a pretty fast romance.” Her voice is soft and kind. 

He cringes. Coming clean with the truth eludes him. “Yeah.”

“Well, why don’t you ask him. Spend time with him, Tony. I’ve noticed you hanging out here too often lately. You usually avoid this place like the plague. Maybe you should go back to that and spend time with your new husband.” She stands next to him. The lights from the parking lot below glitter in her eyes. It reminds him of the cosmos, of Steve.

“Go home. Get to know him better.” She knocks him with her elbow.

“Only if you go home, too.”

He depends on Pepper and Rhodey to ground him, but Steve – Steve transforms him. Maybe it frightens him, maybe that’s why he shies away from the possibilities. The potential to change, to become something, someone different scares him. Over the past year transformation became his mantra. He’s Iron Man. He directed the change of his company. Now he has his dream – Blu and Steve Rogers –waiting for him. When he thinks of home, he thinks of Steve. 

He says goodnight to Pepper, seeing her to her car and then leaving to drive home. Even though Happy had wanted to chauffer him, Tony declined. Every once in a while, driving cleared his head. He takes the longer route home, driving along the coast to watch as the night reflects in the pitch black of the waves. He sees the lights glittering along the surface of the ocean. Stopping, he studies the ocean but he glimpses the vastness of the cosmos, the moments of Blu’s death and Steve’s re-emergence. It humbles him, and maybe, just maybe it’s too hard to comprehend. Why would the universe pick Tony to save Steve. Why did the doorway open for him? Why did it link them together? He leaves the ocean behind and drives the rest of the way home. No music accompanies him, only the stray thought and the flickering of the street lights.

When he arrives home and walks through the wide glass doors, Steve’s sitting in the lounge. His face brightens as soon as Tony enters. He stands up and puts his hands behind his back as if he’s in parade rest. “Tony. I didn’t know if I’d see you tonight.”

“Yeah. Working late.”

“Difficult day?” Steve says and his expression aches through him. It is so very obvious that he’s trying, that he wants Tony to like him. He feels the connection too; it’s undeniable. 

Taking a chance means offering his fragile soul. It has always been broken. As a child he snuggled a stuffed toy to find comfort from its breaking, but what now? “A bit. What are you doing?” Tony points to the coffee table where there is a bowl of popcorn and two unopened beers. 

Steve turns and looks at the beers. “I just.” He rubs at the back of his neck. “I thought maybe we could maybe sit and watch a movie. JARVIS told me you were on your way home.”

“Oh.” Traitor. “Sure. Got one in mind?”

“I have a list of movies I should watch, but why don’t you pick?” Steve says and sits down, looking up at Tony and anxiously waiting for him to take a seat.

He picks one on the other side of the couch. He figures it’s not an outright rejection but it’s not an invitation either. His father always called him a coward. “How about – maybe a World War II movie. You might relate to that -.”

Steve presses his lips into a thin line and frowns. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to pass. I watched the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan like a week ago and I’m still having nightmares.”

“Shit. Steve, no. Don’t do that to yourself.” Tony thinks. “Well how about Star Wars. A New Hope. That’s fun.”

“Okay. I think it’s on my list.” His eyes are bright with expectation.

“You have a list?”

Steve pulls out his little black book and shows Tony as JARVIS sets up the movie. They don’t end up watching most of the movie since Tony has a lot of commentary about the list and things that need to be added and removed. By the time the rebels are attacking the Death Star, Steve asks who the guy in the black mask is and Tony laughs. He really got lost in talking about life with Steve.

“Well, I think you’re going to have to watch this again,” Tony says, and he finishes off his third beer. The popcorn is long since gone. 

“If you promise to watch it with me?” Steve says.

“Well, you have to understand it if you want to watch the next one.” Tony sees the ring on Steve’s finger. Tony’s wearing his as well, but that’s only because he went out in public. “You know you don’t have to wear it all the time.” He indicates the wedding ring.

Steve shrugs. He twists it like it’s some kind of security blanket. “It’s okay.”

“Steve.” Tony hates to say it, but they need to stop the charade – at least in the mansion. “You don’t have to pretend, you know. You’re free to do whatever you want to do. You don’t have to stay cooped up here all the time.”

“I know. Who says I’m not doing what I want to do?” he replies and those blue eyes that pierced him through as a wild beast, strike at Tony’s heart again. “I’ve been doing what I wanted to do since I was three years old. You should have asked my Ma.”

“That’s a long time.”

“Even as a lion. Except for when I was captured. I did what I wanted to do. I helped who I could. I searched for an answer to why it happened to me, and I did what I thought was right.” Steve touches the band. “Right now, this is right.”

“Being fake married to me.”

Steve stands, gazes down at Tony. “It maybe fake to you, but it’s never been to me.” He walks away without another word leaving Tony shaking and gasping for air. The man always takes his breath away.

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir.”

“What does that mean?” He feels warm.

“It means that Captain Rogers considers the marriage important to him. That you are important to him.”

He glances down at his hands; the simple band is on his ring finger. He touches it, spinning it on his finger. “I didn’t mean for it to be real.”

“It isn’t for you?”

“That’s the question, isn’t it?” 

Later that night he dreams of Blu. He’s reclining against Blu, staring out at their little stream. It’s a pleasantly warm day and he sighs in his happiness. He could stay here all day, forever. Blu laps once at him, his tongue rough but not painful. Tony playfully bats him away. 

“Are you going to leave me?” Blu asks.

Dream Tony doesn’t seem disturbed by the fact a full grown male lion is speaking to him. “Why would you think that?”

“Because you are. You don’t see me. You see something else.”

“I see you.” Tony slings his arm over Blu’s mane. “I love you, Blu. I’ll never leave you.”

“If I was something else, would you love me still?”

“I don’t know what you mean? Like if you were a snake or a rabbit?” Tony scratches Blu behind his ear.

“Who did you dream of as a child, Tony? Who did you hope the universe would send to you to save you?” Blu asks, his voice a low purr that comforts.

Tony stares out at the stream, how the sunlight catches the ripples and turns them into fluid diamonds on the water. “When I was very little, I used to dream that you would become real. Well, my little toy lion would become real and save me. Then when I got older and read the comic books and other stories, I used to dream of Captain America coming to save me.”

“Why did you need to be saved?”

“My father, mostly. And then later, me. I needed someone to save me, from me.”

“And now?” Blu asks, his eyes stark and sad.

Tony never answers in the dream. He wakes up hot and sweaty, wondering at the nonsense of his dreams. It’s the middle of the night and he’s lying on top of the covers of his bed. He never even got undressed. 

“Sir, I’m sorry to have wakened you but Captain Rogers had a nightmare that has upset him.”

Tony sits up and rubs at his eyes. “Yeah? Is he okay?”

“He’s packing a bag, asking me what he can take and what he can’t take.”

“Fuck!” Tony leaps to his feet and races to the guest room. The door is already open, and he barges inside without an invitation. 

On the bed, Steve has a small duffle bag open (where the hell did he get it?). He has a number of articles spread out as if he’s been sorting the clothes and books. 

“What are you doing?” Tony asks, panting.

“I’m packing. I think it’s best,” Steve replies but doesn’t look at Tony. He rolls up a few t-shirts and shoves them into the bag. “It’s best. For as long as I remember Tony, I’ve always wanted to do what’s right. Even as lion from a different world or dimension or reality or cursed or whatever it was. I tried to do good. Now, I’m here. Doing what?”

Tony opens his mouth but there’s no answer to offer.

“Exactly. I’m here in this charade of a marriage like you said. You saved me from whatever was going to happen at that quasi-government facility. I appreciate that. You see me as doing nothing. I’m not worthy of this, or you. I watch the news and see what’s happening and I’m sitting here, trying to figure out how the microwave works, or how I used to shave. Oh is this what it feels like to be human? All the time I’m- haunted, isolated, anxious?” He throws a pair of jeans in the bag. “You don’t see me as valuable. You see Blu. I’m not going to sit here and do nothing. I’m going to prove to you that I am Blu.”

“You- you can’t go.”

Steve pauses, a rolled t-shirt in his hands. “You respected me as Blu. You loved me as Blu. All you see me as now is another person using you.” He twists the shirt. “I’ve never been the type of person to live on the dole. I didn’t do it when I was hungry during the Depression, I didn’t beg as a lion, and I’m sure as hell not going to do it now. Especially not with you.” He throws the t-shirt into the duffle. “You can say it was a sham marriage – like it is. Like you said. We’re just pretending. Don’t be shy about it, Tony. You’ve never been shy before,” Steve says. “I saw the stuff online. I know how it is.”

That strikes deep and true. Tony recoils. “God, I thought you were better than them. I thought you were -.”

“I’m what?” Steve shouts. “What? We spent weeks together. I took care of you, I had purpose and meaning. Now, I sit at home – in this massive house – alone most of the time. I can’t get into your workshop, I’m not allowed. I sit alone and wait – wait for you to notice me. To see I’m still Blu. I’m still the same. But you ignore me, you shun me. You stay out all the time.”

“We’re not really married, Steve. I can stay out as long as I like.”

“And that’s the point, Tony. You don’t want to be with me. I want to be out there, doing something. I don’t want to hide anymore. I want you to see me as someone you want to come home to.” He zips the bag closed. “I’ll pay for the phone and the clothes as soon as I’m able to.”

“Where are you going?” The world narrows around him as if he is looking at it through the wrong end of binoculars. 

“Director Fury is having someone pick me up.”

“SHIELD? You called SHIELD? You’re going back to SHIELD?” Everything snaps back into focus. “You can’t go to SHIELD! They’ll lock you up for sure. You’re a lab specimen to them.”

“Director Fury assures me that’s not the case. They want me as part of their team they’re putting together. Said I was the first avenger, I should lead it. I’ll have a purpose again. You’ll see.” Steve heaves the bag onto his shoulder. He mutters something under his breath and Tony only makes out ‘you’ll see’.

“You can’t leave me,” Tony says and even in his ears it sounds weak. He’s a child again. His father rages, his mother cries, and he hides.

“Why, Tony?” He picks up his hand and shows it to Tony. The wedding ring is still there. “Thank you for what you did. But it isn’t necessary anymore.” He tugs off the ring and hands it to Tony, who doesn’t accept it.

“Please don’t.”

“Why?”

Tony’s throat closes. The words clog his throat.

Steve places the ring on the side table. “I just want you to know, I’m still the same. I might be in a different body, but I am still Blu.” He marches out the door and down the stairs. 

Over the din he hears JARVIS trying to call him, but it is all happening too fast and Tony’s moving in slow motion as the rest of the world speeds up. He must move because he finds himself in the foyer of his house watching Steve get into a black SUV. Fury is standing next to the vehicle, his features locked in that ever stoic gaze. He gives no pause and sweeps into the SUV alongside Steve.

In seconds they leave and Tony stands looking out, knowing he did something wrong, but with no way to find purchase as the ground slips out from under him. It’s like his father leaving for one of his trips to go find Captain America. Tony might find humor in the irony, if it didn’t hurt so damned much. There’s only one thing to do – he heads to his workshop and losing himself for the next week.


	8. Chapter 8

The news of Captain America’s miraculous survival of the 1945 crash of the Valkyrie dominates the news cycle for a good 48 hours. SHIELD paints it as if Steve Rogers was preserved in ice for 70 years and the super soldier serum saved him. There is no mention of a lion. There is no mention of Blu at all. He has been erased from memory. 

For Tony Blu overshadows everything. When he sleeps Blu is the subject of his dreams. When he wakes, he feels the loss like a physical thing in his gut. He wants to go on a drinking binge, but something stops him. He needs to dull the pain, mute it, numb it. All that makes the silent ache fade is to sleep. He crawls into bed and ignores the rest of the world. Sleep takes him but she isn’t a sweet mistress but a vengeful one. She wraps him in fear and solitude. She twists and contorts him, she transforms him.

The images flicker over his brain and he flies, soaring over the twilight landscape below. HE searches for something, someone and someone lost. He tries to track his missing half soul with the HUD, but then realizes there is no suit, no armor, no HUD. He’s flying freely. He’s a bird, dark feathered and mesmerizing in the evening light. He lands near the edge of the stream he knows well. 

Next to the stream he finds Blu. He hops over to his lion and, without fear, settles into his mane like he’s nesting. The softness of his mane comforts Tony as a corvid crow. This time the lion remains silent as does he. They sit quietly together. They are always meant to be together regardless of their shapes, sizes, species, or time. He knows this into the hollow of his bird bones. Something menacing quakes the ground and Blu stands up in the darkness upsetting Tony’s perch. He takes flight and sees the light coming for them through the wooded path. Tony caws and warns Blu.

Blu charges toward the blue light only to be confronted by the Iron Man armor. It raises its repulsors at Blu. Tony swoops down, cawing at the armor. He sees the gleaming eyes, the expressionless faceplate. The repulsors discharge and Tony darts between the beam of light and Blu. The ray burns through him and he falls to the ground. His feathers burnt, his chest a gaping hole. He pants his last breath as Blu curls his massive paw around him. 

He jolts awake, chills run through him yet perspiration coats him. “JARVIS, what time is it?”

“It is 3 am, sir.”

“Get the jet ready. File a flight plan to wherever Steve went.”

“Are you telling me to hack into SHIELD in order to find out where the Captain is being housed?” 

“Absolutely.”

“My pleasure, sir.”

Hacking SHIELD, the pre-eminent spy organization in the world, takes half a day for JARVIS. Tony is impressed with JARVIS and a little disillusioned with the rest of the world. Fury is an idiot for not bringing him onto his team, but then again Tony once told the US Senate to eat his ass. 

Through JARVIS’ investigation, Tony learns that Steve is not, in fact, in New York City as he had assumed. Instead, SHIELD set up Steve in a small apartment near the Foggy Bottom exit of the DC Metro. The idea that SHIELD brought Steve to the Triskelion, essentially the Mordor of spy organizations, terrifies him. He warned Steve that SHIELD’s intentions weren’t rainbows and unicorns. He has no other choice – he needs to bring Steve home where he belongs. The case of denial falls apart. Blu is Tony’s and therefore so is Steve. Suitcase armor in hand, Tony gets onto his private jet and heads toward the Capital. 

During the flight, Pepper calls him. “Can you tell me why you took a company jet for your private use?”

Well, there’s one reason not to give away the CEO position of his company. “There’s an extra special meeting at SHIELD I have to go to.”

“SHIELD?” Pepper asks. Her voice radiates tension.

“Yes, SHIELD. It happens my husband is staying over there.” _He left me, Pepper, and I’m having a psychic break even though it was fake marriage all along. I think I’m in love with a lion and I think I might be a bird._ He decides to keep it simple. “Steve’s Cap you know.”

“Yes, I know. It’s been all over the news.” Pepper grumbles. “I sent you a dozen text messages. People want to talk with you about it. There’s rumbling at the Board. They want to know if you knew. You have to learn how to communicate better.”

Isn’t that the truth. He leans forward in his seat, elbows on knees. “Listen, Pepper. Steve and me – well-.”

“Don’t tell me you broke up. You need some solid foundation in your life. Even the short time I met him I could tell how much you cared about him. It doesn’t hurt that it’s obvious he’s crazy about you.” She sighs into the phone. “Don’t do this to yourself, Tony. Find happiness, stop trying to hurt yourself all the time.”

“Plus it won’t play well in the press,” he adds if only to knock himself down a few more pegs.

“I didn’t say that, Tony. This isn’t just about the Board or the media. It’s about you and what makes you happy. When you came home from your last disappearance with a husband, I thought you’d lost it, but then I saw you.” Pepper giggles a little as if she’s keeping a secret. “And you looked at him so sweetly, so much in love.”

He clears his throat and plays for casual. “Don’t worry about it. Steve has responsibilities and, as his husband, I respect that.”

She’s silent for a moment. “Okay. But please remember what I said and answer some of my text messages once in a while. Maybe pick up the phone some time.”

“I promise.”

She laughs. “So, you’re jetting off for a romantic weekend with your hubby?”

“You could say that.” _Or not. It’s not like he even knows I’m coming. And plus we’re not even really married. We’re strangers but we’re so much more._

“Okay then. I’ll handle the press. You just have a good time.”

“I promise.” _To try and not fuck this up, even though I have no idea what this is. He’s having an identity crisis._ “Goodbye, Pep.”

“Take care.”

He disconnects because if he stays on the line a minute longer, he might start confessing to her. He’d very nearly spilled the beans about his fake marriage to Pepper as it is. 

The flight eats away at his stability, ramping up his anxiety and causing him to obsessively learn everything there is about crows and corvids. He’s losing his mind. By the time he disembarks the jet, he’s mad as a hatter to see Steve and rents a car to drive to his address. He gets there at dinner time. Inspiration strikes and he stops at a pizzeria and picks up a few pies and some beer. It is a walk up and he carries the pies in one hand with beers precariously balanced on top of the boxes, his suitcase armor in the other hand. Everything nearly topples over but a young woman with blonde hair sees him on the staircase and rushes over to him. 

“Do you need a hand? You look like you need a hand.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

She relieves him of the six pack. “I haven’t seen you before?” 

“In town to visit.”

“Nice.”

He stops at the right apartment and she points to the door across the hall. “You’re visiting my neighbor?”

“Yes.” He stops short of telling her anything else. “If you could just place the beer on the floor.”

“Well, of course. Have a good visit.” She puts the six pack down and turns to her door, but not before her smiles fades a degree. He quirks an eyebrow and then with his foot knocks on Steve’s door. 

The door swings open and Steve frowns at him.

“Pizza?”

Steve steps aside and gestures for Tony to enter. Taking it as a good sign, he accepts and asks Steve to pick up the beer. He does and follows Tony into the apartment. He has Tony deposit the pizza boxes in the kitchen on the small counter. In silence Steve places the six pack next to the boxes. His body language closes up immediately, arms crossed over his chest. He looks good, healthy. He’s gotten a more modern haircut and he’s bulkier. 

“You look good.”

“Thank you. You look like hell.”

Which is probably true. Tony hasn’t been sleeping well. The images of his dreams haunt him during the day, and he yearns for them at night even though they exhaust him. “Well thank you.” He stows the suitcase armor next to the fridge. “Make yourself comfortable Tony. Have a beer Tony.”

“What do you want Tony?” His glower could be used a national defense.

“I came here to-.” He stops. Explaining why he came might be a tad closer to impossible than Tony imagined. “I wanted to talk things out.” 

“I’m not sure there’s anything to talk out. You did me a favor. So, thank you. I had a lot more leverage with SHIELD when I came back to work for them because of you.” He twists off a cap from the beer bottle and places it on the counter in front of Tony. 

“Well, what are husband’s for?”

Steve frowns at him. Captain America disapproving of him hurts a lot more than he will ever confess.

He puts a hand up. “I get it. We’re not really husbands. But we did still share something remarkable.”

Taking a beer, Steve pushes past Tony and goes into the living room. “Well, I thought we did. I’m not so sure about what you thought.”

A different tacit might get him some place. “SHIELD treating you right. Lots of lab tests?”

“After the first day or so, no. They have me working with a team. I’m part of their tactical response along with the Strike team.” He swigs some of the beer. 

“They have you working as a spy?” That cannot be right. He has one of the most recognizable faces on the planet.

“No. Not as a spy.” He laughs. “I could never be a spy. Not according to Natasha.”

Tony turns and looks at the door and then back at Steve. “Natasha the neighbor across the hall?”

Steve points to a cushioned chair and takes a seat opposite it. “No. That’s Kate across the hall. She’s a nurse. Natasha is one of my partners at SHIELD.”

Tony drops into the chair and holds his beer, lax in his hand. “So, you found some purpose in life then?”

Steve shrugs. “I don’t know if I call it purpose when I think some of the motives aren’t kosher. But I’m learning. I’m learning to be in this world again. I’m learning to be human again.” He rotates his shoulders as if to emphasize how he recognizes his humanity aside from being a feline.

“Does SHIELD know about the whole thing?” Tony asks, being careful about his words. He suspects the place is bugged.

Steve shakes his head. “The story is the story, you know.” 

It surprises Tony that Steve’s careful with his speech as well. He must be cognizant of the idea that a spy organization might be surveilling its own. He has progressed a long way or he was never all that naïve in the first place. “And us?”

“Us? SHIELD knows that we’re married and in a long distant relationship. Apparently, that’s a big thing theses days,” Steve says. He stands, grabs a box of the pizza, and brings it to the coffee table. He flips open the box and pulls out a slice. No napkins, no plates. A man after Tony’s heart. 

“I appreciate that. I do,” Tony says and it’s true. He does not want this to disappear, to be a joke that Steve laughs about years from now. 

“Well eventually I suppose you should file for divorce.” Steve looks a little pale as he states this between pizza bites. “I know you don’t want to be tied down to me.”

Considering the fact that they both silently acknowledged the surveillance devices, Tony glares at Steve. “I am not filing for anything. I didn’t come here for that.”

“And what did you come for, Tony?”

“I told you, I wanted to talk things out. I wanted to see how you were doing. I-.” He hangs his head and stares at his untouched beer. “I missed you.”

“Missed me or missed Blu?”

Tony looks up at Steve, holds his gaze. “Is there a difference?”

“You thought there was,” Steve whispers. Now his eyes are downcast.

Tony gets to his feet and closes the short distance between them. He kneels in front of Steve and places his hands on Steve’s hands. “I was wrong. And believe me that’s a rare thing for me to admit. I was wrong to think there is a difference. Maybe I was a little freaked out. I loved, love Blu. That means I love you. Doesn’t it?”

Steve looks away and Tony spots the tears in his eyes. “I’ve spent several lifetime’s looking for my place. As a sickly man, as a soldier, as a beast among humans, and now as – whoever I am now.” He brings his gaze back to Tony. “When I saw you in that cave, everything about you changed me. I saw how hard you fought, how determined. I watched as you built a miracle machine from scraps. I followed you out and protected you because you deserved it. When you came back for me-.” He pauses and swallows hard. “When you came back, I thought I’d died and finally gone to heaven. Here you were, back and saving me. You didn’t leave me. You came back. I did everything I could to show you how much it meant to me. How much you meant to me.”

“I know,” Tony says and nods. Blu saved him more than once. 

“I thought you understood. And then when I died again, you were there to hold me, to anchor me to bring me back to my reality.” Steve wipes at his eyes as if he’s angry. “And then what? You left. And that was it. We were done.”

“No. No we’re not. We’re not done. I want to know you Steve.”

“You already do. That’s the point.” 

Tension constricts Steve’s muscles; Tony feels it under his palms as if he is forcing himself to stay put and not jump away from Tony’s grasp. “I know. But knowing you as there is slightly different than knowing you here. Just like-.” He inhales, holds it, and then exhales. “Knowing me as a crow would be different.”

“A crow?” Steve’s eyes go wide. “You saw it, too. You saw the crow?”

“In my dreams.”

“For years as a lion, I would dream of a crow who would accompany me on my journey. There were a few months when I would chase any I saw. They ended up trying to pluck at my eyes when I slept.” Steve smiles. “It was you all along.”

“Yes.” Tony grips Steve’s legs. “Please tell me you’ll give me this chance. Please.”

Steve slides his hands over Tony’s, slowly stroking them with his thumb. “What do you want that chance to be, Tony? I don’t know if we’re ready for that. I said some terrible things too. I’m sorry. But what next? I can’t handle you changing your mind.”

Tony clasps Steve’s hands in his own. At he touches him, he can feel the softness of the fur that once welcomed him like an echo. “I know who you are. I don’t want you to be anyone else, but you.”

With a graceful motion, Steve’s on his knees on the floor. He cradles Tony’s face in his hands. “I watched you suffer for so many nights in that cave. I watched you persevere. I watch you and longed for you to see me. Me. Tell me you see me now.”

“I see you. I see the man I love.”

Steve leans forward, tentatively brushing his lips against Tony’s mouth. It’s an exploration, an invitation but a tenuous one. Tony pursues the kiss with singlemindedness, pushing the envelope beyond the fragile hope into a full and brilliant acceptance. Before Tony knows what is happening, Steve’s guided them up to their feet and then he’s slipping a hand and arm under his legs and lifting him. “I want you, Tony. You’re mine.” There is a low pitched growl to his voice, an almost animalistic look to his features. He is all Steve, but there’s the ever present danger that rings through him, that surrounds him, that protects Tony. 

Steve enters the bedroom, gently depositing Tony on the bed. It is a queen but extra-long. There are too many pillows and a plush duvet that he wouldn’t want to ruin in light of what they might be doing next. “Do you have- I mean if you’re interested, we’ll need lube.”

“I have some. I’ve been self-experimenting before you think otherwise.” He digs in the drawer of his bureau. “Natasha told me I should start to explore my interests.”

Tony barks out a laugh. “I’m not sure that’s what she meant.”

Turning to him, Steve raises a brow and smiles. “It’s exactly what she meant.”

Tony’s going to have to look up this Natasha person at some point. He leans back, bracing himself on his elbows on the bed. “Aren’t you a little uncomfortable with the idea of possibly being watched?”

“Oh you mean the listening devices?” Steve smirks. “Don’t worry, Coulson’s on my side. He’s a big Cap fan. And very pansexual, I think they call it.”

“You’ve grown by leaps and bounds, Steve. What have I missed?” Tony reaches out to him.

Steve holds his hand. “Not much. Not as much as you think, I should say. Nothing important. I thought it would be hard being a human again. But the hardest thing is the loneliness, but I’ve been lonely for so long.” His voice drifts away, fading to the edge of the memories surfacing. 

Tony tugs him closer. “Hey, you’re not alone anymore.”

“Really?”

This time it is Tony initiating the kiss. It’s more powerful, forceful. It’s two warring elements tackling one another in a battle for dominance. When he pulls away for air, he glimpses the ragged expression on Steve’s face. He’s thoroughly kiss bruised and hungry for more. He does not hesitate to ravage Tony, shoving him back on the bed.They moan and wrestle on the bed, tousling the bedding and ripping off clothes as they move. It’s not elegant or romantic, but a primal thing of need and want, of desire and hope. Passion drives them, but hope sustains them. Nothing is planned or easy. Everything is messy and bright. 

Tony screams and curses. Steve groans and cries out. It’s not a perfect thing, these moments between them, but it is true. It burns and scorches his brain as he hunkers down with his ass in the air and Steve thrusts into him, his moaning more like primitive growls of want. He glances back over his shoulder and glimpses the strain, the pronounced muscles on Steve’s chest, the bulging of his biceps and his legs as he rams into Tony. The glide of Steve inside of him, running against his muscle ring, titillates and overwhelms him. He’s so full. Thick and powerful, Steve slams against Tony and then draws out with excruciating slowness. Tony pushes back to meet him and then Steve bends over him and wraps a hand around his head to hold him in place so that they can kiss. And then with a quick jerk of his hips, Steve’s coming. Hot fluid spills into Tony and he shudders out his own climax. It is over too soon and they flop down onto the bed.

Steve shivers and pulls Tony to him, kissing his crown. “I’m so- I’m so sorry. I wanted it to be special. I didn’t want for it to be.” He stops and when Tony looks up, he sees the tears staining his cheeks. 

Tony wipes his hair back from his face. “Steve, what is it? What’s wrong?” Fear roils in his belly. He pushed too far too fast. “What’s wrong?”

“I shouldn’t have.” He moves to get away but Tony grapples with him, keeping him in place. 

“What is going on?”

“I-that was wrong. I treated you like-.” He stops and chokes as the tears continue. 

Tony rolls him over and rubs his back. As he settles, he asks, “What’s going on?”

It must help Steve not to look Tony in the face. “I shouldn’t have done that to you. I used you like I’m some kind of -.” A low weeping sound erupts. “Like some kind of beast. I’m sorry. That’s all I am. All I’ll ever be.”

Tony kisses his shoulder and moves to embrace him. “No. Steve. No. That’s not all.”

“We didn’t even- it wasn’t romantic or tender. I wanted to show you how much you mean to me,” Steve buries his head at Tony’s neck. “You were all I thought of, all I hoped for. You were my world in that cave, by the stream. And look how I treated you.”

Tony kisses him tenderly and then lifts his head. “Steve, you treated me like you were hot and bothered for my body. You couldn’t keep your hands off me. I have to tell you, that was some damn sexy times.” 

Steve squirms a little as if he might try to break free. “But it -.”

“Sure, it was fast and furious, but hell, we’ve been denying ourselves all this time. I mean I wasn’t going to fuck a lion, but I love you and I am damned happy you’re you now.” He strokes a hand down Steve’s cheek. “We have all the time in the world.”

“You mean that?” Steve’s eyes are wondering, amazed at his words. “Really, you’re not disgusted with me.”

“Hell, Steve, I wanted it, too. I was as demanding as you were. Next time might be slower. Next time we’ll take all night. But then the time after that we might not. It doesn’t have to be rainbows coming out of your ass every time, you know.”

Steve furrows his brows. “Rainbows out my what?”

Tony grins. “Come on, you thought that was a funny.”

“You have a twisted sense of humor,” Steve mutters and wraps Tony in his arms. He cuddles him close and stays silent for a long while.

After a long comfortable silence, Tony asks, “What are you thinking?” 

“Truthfully?”

Tony nods.

“How I only had one slice of pizza.”

The laughter that takes Tony is full and rich and the beginning of a lifetime of joy.


	9. Chapter 9

_Once upon a time there was a crow. This crow was one of the most important animals in the kingdom. Everyone knew his name, and everyone wanted one of his magical feathers._

_They would chase after him and beg him. Sometimes the other animals would taunt him and pluck his feathers right out of his tail!_

_The crow was lured away from the kingdom by an evil boar. The boar thought that if he was able to, he could kill the crow and take all of his magical feathers for himself._

_The boar rounded up his friends and they tried to hurt the crow. They pinned him down and when they were about to strike their fatal blow, a roar sounded – thundering across the land. All the boars scattered away, frightened of the beast with such a loud howl._

_Too hurt, the crow could not defend himself and knew it would be the last moments of his life as a lion approached. But instead of pouncing on the injured bird, the lion gently touched him with his nose, sniffing and examining the crow. The crow cawed a few times, but the great lion did not seem to understand. The lion bent down and tenderly lifted the bird with his giant paw. He placed the crow into his thick mane and then brought him away to his home in a hollow of a tree near a clear and sparkling stream._

_The lion cared for the crow as he recovered from his injures and grew his feathers back. Although the crow had once been covered in only sleek black feathers, now on his chest over his heart a faint blue circle of feathers appeared. The crow did not mind it because it reminded him of his savior’s eyes._

_The crow and the lion became great friends by the beautiful stream. They would play in the water and the bird would splash the big cat and caw at him. Though they did not speak each other’s language they knew each other well. They were best friends. Every night the crow would snuggle into the lion’s mane, and every morning the lion would gently put the crow down onto the ground._

_Often the crow would fly high in the air and then alert the lion of dangers or prey. They lived in that little paradise together for a very long time. They might not have been the same, but they were always meant to be together. They lived happily ever after._

_The end._

Tony smiles, leaning against the door frame to their daughter’s bedroom. Steve is cuddled up in bed with Morgan, the book spread open on her lap as she sits on him. Tony loves the book, the illustrations especially. 

“Da, what’s the name of the book again?” Like clockwork Morgan asks the same question every night.

“It’s called The Legend of Blu,” Steve answers, never tiring of their daughter’s queries. Morgan can already read at the ripe old age of 4 years; she’s been reading for over a year now. But she insists on a bedtime story from her Da every night. 

“Why Blu? Neither one of them are blue?” Morgan fondly touches the illustrations, pencil with watercolor. It’s truly beautiful. “But the crow has a little blue star and the lion has blue eyes. So, which one is the legend about?”

“I think it’s both.” He bops her on the nose. “Now I think it’s time for sleeps. Don’t you think it’s time for sleeps?”

She smiles up and him and then kisses his nose. “What about Poppa?”

“Well, why doesn’t he stop lurking at the door and come in and say goodnight.” 

Morgan crawls off Steve’s lap and opens her arms wide for Tony. He steps into the room and lifts her off the bed. He nuzzles her and tickles her as Steve slips off the bed. 

“I’ll go check on Sarah.”

“She just went down,” Tony says over his shoulder.

“I won’t wake her.” Steve leaves Tony to Morgan, their first daughter. Sarah’s only 3 months old and still doesn’t sleep well. Morgan loves her little sister, but they make sure that their bedtime routines are separate, and that Morgan gets time with Steve in the evening. Steve has become the main caretaker of their children. 

After a long romance through the ups and downs of Steve adjusting to modern life and to life as a human, they finally tied the knot for real. Steve continued to work for SHIELD for a while and headed up the Avengers when the Chitauri attacked. They maintained separate apartments but saw each other often. When SHIELD fell and they found out about the Winter Soldier and Bucky, it was the final straw. Steve left the mantle of Captain America to Sam Wilson and Tony left his armor to a newly Air Force retired Rhodey. Both Tony and Steve left the high profile life of the Avengers behind and settled in upstate New York, not far from the Avenger’s campus. Tony still worked R&D for Stark Industries and for the Avengers, but Steve stayed home and wrote and illustrated children’s books under the pseudonym; S.G.R. Stark. Everyone knew who he was, but they all pretended to keep the obvious secret quiet. 

They had made a fine little life in the woods.

Morgan kisses his cheek and makes him promise that tomorrow they’ll spend time in his garage workshop on her go-kart (Steve does not approve). 

“Don’t tell Da,” Morgan whispers and Tony kisses the crown of her head and promises.

“Go to sleep and I won’t tell him.”

“Where’s my lion?” She frantically looks around but Tony scoops it up from the floor and wiggles it at her. She giggles and grabs for it. They tussle for it until they hear from the doorway an obvious clearing of the throat to hurry them along. 

“To sleeps,” Tony says and then whispers. “I love you.”

“Love you 3000 Blus.”

“3000?”

She smiles and her eyes twinkle and everything is right and perfect with the world. He leaves her tucked into her bed and closes the door. Steve stands there, arms folded.

“The go-kart?”

Tony presses a finger on his lips. “It’s just a little thing.” Steve rolls his eyes. He tries to change the subject. “She loves the new book, you know. Best seller. The kids are going wild over it.”

Steve shakes his head. “Nice try.”

Tony shrugs with his hands partially stuffed in his pockets. “Don’t worry about it.”

“It’s my nature to worry, Tony. I worry about our daughters; I worry about you. I’ve been worrying about you since I met you.” He growls in his throat and Tony instantly is hard. 

“You’re always a tease.”

“Maybe not so much tonight,” Steve nips at Tony’s earlobe. “No teasing at all.”

Tony smirks and grabs Steve’s hand, leading him quietly past the nursery and toward their master bedroom at the end of the hall. They live in a large log cabin in the woods, but everything is updated and beautiful. Steve has a touch that makes it both homey and modern. Tony closes the door behind them and Steve kisses him with a gentle touch before Tony backs away and flops on the bed.

“Ravage me, you beast.”

Steve suppresses a smile and quirks an eyebrow. “You know that’s getting pretty old.”

“Your beard is getting me all worked up especially with the longer hair. I want you to go all beast master on me,” Tony says and wiggles on the bed.

“You are incorrigible.”

Tony stretches out. “Then why don’t you punish me.” He snickers and Steve shrugs, giving up. He leaps onto Tony, the bed straining against the weight. It’s a big, sturdy bed; Tony doesn’t worry about it, they made it with their own hands. 

Lying side by side, Steve’s eyes flitter over his features. His hands cup Tony’s face. “It’s been a long time since we met.”

“Yes, it has, Blu,” Tony whispers. His hands are on Steve’s hands. He loves the feel of his beard, the intensity of his blue blue eyes. 

“How does it feel always like the first moment?” Steve moves to kiss Tony. His lips are firm but give way easily as they explore one another’s mouths. 

Steve strokes his hands down Tony’s side, holding him right at the small of his waist where he’s most sensitive. Hiking up his t-shirt, Steve leans down and kisses a small line down, following Tony’s Adonis’ belt. Tony squirms a bit and then Steve’s peeling away his jeans and suckling at his skin below his navel, teasing his erection.

“You said -.” Tony’s breathless. “You said no teasing tonight.”

He feels Steve smile against his skin. “Well, I guess that’s depends on your point of view.”

Tony’s about to crack a smart remark but it escapes him as Steve swallows down his cock in one thrilling move. Tony moans as Steve works his tongue along his shaft. He takes in a big breath and holds it before releasing it, just to slow down his reaction to Steve’s ministrations. 

They’ve been together for over a decade. Through the hardest hell when they both found out that Bucky was responsible for Tony’s parents’ deaths to Steve mourning his last day with the shield. They celebrated a real wedding; they took joy in their children’s births. Every moment has been a reminder of who they are, what they are. It sows seeds for the next moment, allowing it to grow.

Under Steve’s hands, Tony no longer needs the armor to fly. He takes flight and his mind scatters as Steve massages him, strokes him, sucks him. He fingers Tony in the lightest way – a tease once again and Tony shudders in anticipation. He drags his tongue along Tony’s erection and there’s nothing for it now. A bit of pre-come splashes out. He inhales in gasps Steve’s laps it up. His tongue is so talented that Tony longs for it. 

As if he reads Tony’s mind, Steve pulls away and then gently pushes his legs open. He kneels next to the bed and heaves Tony toward him. Folding Tony’s legs up to his chest but keeping them open, Steve bends down and laps at Tony’s balls and then works further back, licking at his ass and tantalizing his hole. The brush of his tongue and beard leave Tony panting and crying out. He wants more, he needs more. His hole is hungry for Steve, wanting the full girth of Steve in him. Steve slides his tongue inward and then flicks a little so that Tony sees nothing but the stars. He groans out and grapples on the bed for purchase. 

“More,” he pants. His voice rasps. Just as a tease, Steve rotates his beard and Tony sobs out his need. “Fuck, please!”

Steve gets up and helps Tony onto the bed properly. He disrobes in front of Tony and then sidles up to him in the bed. They silently touch and explore one another. It’s a small thing and after Steve heated him so much, Tony’s not sure he wants to wait, but it’s something that Steve needs. He’s always been so cognizant of his strength and his power – that it frightens him. Tony’s tried to calm him, comfort him about it, but the nightmares he has about his time as a beast always come back, always terrorize him. 

Together they learn one another again. Every time he learns something new about his husband. This man he once only pretended to be wed to. Today he learns that Steve’s especially sensitive at his inner wrists. Tony kisses and licks and touches and feels. They become a thing together, drawn together, always meant to be. 

When Steve breaches him, it’s face to face. The look of pure bliss mixed with a fierce pride trembles through Tony causing him to shudder and jerk against him. He spills a little but stops himself from coming. He wants to come with Steve thrusting in him, he wants to feel the full thickness of Steve pounding into him. 

Steve strains. Arms on each side of Tony, his gaze concentrating on him. He opens his mouth and exhales with each thrust. Tony curls his legs around Steve, holding him in place. He reaches up and brings him close, seeking in his eyes what’s always there- unquestionable loyalty, deep love, and constant commitment. He fully and completely kisses Steve. In his ear he whispers his love and Steve sobs out, his rhythm goes erratic and he stretches away from Tony, slamming into him. He bites his lip and then shivers as he waits.

“Come, Steve. I’m right there with you,” Tony commands and they both fall over the cliff together. No hand on him, only the pounding motion of Steve in him, filling him, finishing him is needed. He rides through it, half aware, half lost in a dream. He no longer needs the armor to fly. He’s taken flight. 

When Steve lands next to him, spent and happy, Tony cuddles up close to him. It’s quiet as the remains of their lovemaking cools around them. Steve pulls up a blanket from the end of the bed. They embrace, Tony’s head on Steve’s chest. 

“We should do that more often,” Tony says.

Steve smiles. “Once Sarah sleeps better.” 

“That child is going to try and make me celibate.”

“We could get a nanny,” Steve suggests, though neither of them want that.

“Do you want a nanny?” Tony asks, because he wants to make sure they are still on the same page.

“Not really.” 

“Good.” Tony kisses Steve’s beard. “I like the beard by the way.”

“Doesn’t give you a rash – I mean down there?”

Tony laughs. “Good lord, no!” He snuggles. In a whisper he says, “You make me very happy, Blu.”

“You make me happy too.”

“Do you mind?”

Steve looks down at Tony. “Mind what?”

“When I call you Blu?”

Steve shakes his head and in the corner of Tony’s vision he sees the mane from so long ago. “No. Not at all. Blu brought me to you. Being Blu is part of me. Just like that lanky skinny kid is part of me. Just like the arc reactor used to be part of you.” Steve runs his fingers down the scar left by the arc reactor that had been removed ages ago. 

Tony quiets again. They fall asleep until Sarah wakes up for her 2 am feeding. Pulling on his shorts and t-shirt, Steve tells him to stay put and gets up to tend to their daughter, making a pitstop at the bathroom before he leaves the room with a quick kiss for him. Tony dresses and then he follows Steve into the nursery, watches him tenderly pick up their baby daughter with her blonde curls in disarray from sleeping. He changes her and talks gently to her and then goes to the sideboard in the room where they have bottles waiting. Tony set up a system so that the bottles are ready as soon as the baby cries. Steve plucks one out of the rack and settles in the rocker. He spots Tony and smiles.

“Being Da is part of you, too.”

Steve smiles at Tony and offers a hand. He’s propped the bottle up against his chest to hold it for Sarah. Tony enters the room and clasps Steve’s hand. “What’s the moral of the story, Tony?”

At first, he isn’t sure what Steve’s asking or why he’s asking it, but then it dawns on him. “The moral of the story is that we all have a place, where we belong even if it doesn’t seem like it. The moral of the story, my dear husband, is that are we all legends waiting to be told.”

He kisses Steve, looks down at his daughter and wonders what her legend will be.

**Author's Note:**

> I moved IM to take place in 2013. Because of the weird history of California and gay marriage, it was easier to move the events than to deal with CA dealing with gay marriage). (California became the first state in the U.S. to legalize domestic partnerships between same-sex couples in 1999. Same-sex marriage was legalized in 2008 for five months until voters approved a ban in November of the same year.) The Supreme Court leagalized gay marriage in 2012.
> 
> By the way the Supreme Court case mentioned in the story is NOT real. I only wish it was.
> 
> Many apologies for the lack of beta I will try to continue to edit as time goes by.


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